Dahlings, I need to share with you all a Parenting Top Tip.*
Here it is:
When you take small(ish, now getting bigger and even more bumptious) boys on hols, you MUST do your research thoroughly beforehand.
You MUST vet all names of local sights.
You may think a visit to Speedwell Cavern in the Peak District is a safe bet. What you have overlooked is the existence of a combo ticket covering another cavern...with an unfortunate name.
It's a good job they had hard hats on; it wasn't low overhanging rocks they needed protecting from, after their exuberant display of parenting failure..
Eventually the ArseFest stopped and we went down the cavern, a former lead mine.
I cheered up at tales of the child miners (a 4 year old worked the bellows providing the miners with air and other children dug for lead with candles clamped in their mouths; candles made with tallow that rotted their teeth and eventually their stomachs. The average life expectancy of a miner was 27).
But it wasn't all doom and gloom.
There was something in the tour for everyone, even Mrs B.
* This Parenting Top Tip will rank alongside my other PTT which you can find here