All lips and teeth

Recently at Blighty HQ we've been all about lips and teeth. Above is an action shot of a MAC lipstick called Vegas Volt.

But first, in case the glamour gets too much,  let me tell you all about our trip to the dentist.

Caring mother that I am, I was determined that Boys 1 and 2 should not enjoy themselves during their half term hols. No, instead I hauled them off to the dentist.

Boy 2 in particular objected, but I reassured him, first by explaining it was only a check up and secondly, by showing him that bit from Little Shop of Horrors featuring Steve Martin as the sadistic dentist and Bill Murray as his patient (the latter probably not such a great idea..)

Boy 2 remained uneasy.  

Disaster struck - this X Ray revealed a rotten baby tooth, already filled.  Boy 2 ended up having what us laymen call an extraction and to what dentists technically refer as "yanking the blighter out."

Post-extraction Boy 2 was very weak and pale and whispered he wanted to go straight home, using his special brave little soldier voice.  Boy 1 chipped in that he was all for going to Cafe Rouge for a steak and chips.  I told Boy 1 to be quiet.

However, on the Underground Boy 2 suddenly underwent a miraculous recovery and whispered, still in brave soldier voice, that he wanted to go to the Games Workshop (purveyor of all things Warhammer) in Kensington.  I am now ready to write a learned paper for the British Journal of Dentistry that post extraction recovery is speeded up 100% by the liberal application of credit card to the GamesWorkshop - exact dosage needs to be tested further, but £80 worth of Warhammer did the trick in this case. ( I was bamboozled by BoyMaths which showed an £80 starter pack of Tyrranids was much better value than just spending £18 on a smaller set... this is probs the male equivalent of girlynomics where you save money by buying things because they are on sale..)

But in Kensington I did discover what I  now call the Courtyard of Hope.

The photo below of Lancers Square (off Ken Church Street) is not very clear but the orange figure is Boy 1 hunched over the Games Workshop window; nearby is Starbucks, and then just to the left is a standalone MAC store.  Yay! Suddenly I am all for trips to the Games Workshop.  I have timed it - you can leave Boys 1 and 2 in the Games Workshop ogling the stock, hotfoot the couple of metres across to MAC, try a few lipsticks, have a quick chat about highlighting powders, buy a lipstick, wiggle into Starbucks for an uplifting beverage and be back in the Games Workshop in less than 6 minutes. RESULT!  And may I say what a joy the MAC shop is, quiet and with great customer service, a wonderful contrast to the rugby scrum plus smeared lippie testers (I mean the actual lipsticks but actually you could say the same about the customers trying out the wares) which is the MAC counter at Selfridges.

Since then I seem to be having a lipstick moment.  The pic below shows Mac Impassioned, hot pink, (thanks Warhammer); Yves Saint Laurent Rouge Volupte #114 (pink) (thank you lovely B for my House of Fraser giftcard)  and Illamasqua lip pencil in Titivate (in, oh, pink).  I love bright, vibrant colour as I find it does lift one's ageing, tired face and also distracts attention from the large spot on one's cheek...

I have also become slightly obsessed with a new make up blog I have found called Lipstick Rules. (which coincidentally featured my new MAC Impassioned lipstick the other day AFTER I had bought it, how's that for the planets aligning?) Lipstick Rules is written by a lady in Toronto who really knows her make up.  And her blog contains not so much as a hint of Warhammer. Or dentists.  Bliss.

Final thought: despite the title of this post, lips and teeth do not mix. Note to self: check gnashers before leaving house.

Shoptastic

Unlike Daphne, my hair is naturally this colour..
Wearing my new spotted silk scarf from Phase 8 and leopard print belt from Zara

Dahlings, I really feel I have been neglecting my role as deranged marsupial style icon to the masses.  One cannot just leave it to Daphne Guinness.  But recently I have been sooo occupied with riot control, kettling and star charts that I have scarcely had time for matters sartorial.  Do forgive me.

Things have not been going that well on the clothes front. Remember the terrible skirt I bought on-line (now safely returned to the Big Warehouse in the Sky)? Well I have experienced another Nasty On-line Buy - ("Nob") - yes, I have had to invent a whole new word to cover this recurring nightmare. I present my latest Nob.

Dress X- Small from Gap, shurely shome mistake, which explains why I am doing the Monty Python Mr Gumby stance.
Nobs - will the nightmare never end?

 Last week I went for a little light shopping with two Mummy friends. We hit up the local Happy Valley Shopping Centre.

Of course, union rules provide that no mother of male children can pursue retail activities without buying some sort of sporting equipment for said male child.   So we found ourselves in the Sports Shop discussing the merits of size 4 bats versus size 3, octopus grips, knocking in (isn't this what got us into the union in the first place?) and oiling your bat.

Look at these prices - but these are for adult cricketers who take it Very Seriously

  

I wondered whether I should get one of these hats - who knew Philip Treacy sold off the peg numbers like these? 

 

Things hotted up when we went into House of Fraser.  Look at these shoes!  When did shoes get so high? And so fetishistic?

These and the shoes below are Kurt Geiger

The leopard and red ones are very understated I feel, for Minnie Mouse

Look close - these are bugtastic

The result of a plot between orthopaedic surgeons, insurance companies and personal injury lawyers?

The girlfriends and I had a laugh trying on lots of clothes and coming out of the changing rooms in fits of giggles - it was like being a teenager again...  I did not buy anything except for the spotty silk scarf I am modelling in the first pic in this post.

But you can't keep a shoptart down - this week I popped up to London and had a toddle round Oxford Street, ending up in Selfridges.  I spotted this chap by the Creme de la Mer counter, probably about to spend the fee from his latest movie on a pot of skin serum.

Mr Clive Owen

He looked at me with ill-concealed lust  failed to register my existence and so I had a good peruse of the OPI stand and bought this orange polish from their Summer 2011 Texas range.

  

On the right is the OPI polish, on the left  a polish from Accessorize in Starlet, cheap as chips but my goodness, it stays on like a dream

When I had finished annoying the OPI ladies by putting the polishes back in the wrong place (nail polish, bringing people together) and walked back past the Creme de la Mer counter Mr O was still there - bless, either he was lurking, hoping to talk to me or there was some terrible shortage of premium unguents for Hollywood A listers.. He was very tall, tanned and striking, in a dark suit.  But I just know he wouldn't have Mr Blighty's drafting skills...

I faced the ever hectic MAC counter at Selfridges and bought a lipstick called Vegas Vamp.

I hear that lipstick sales are up, an indicator of economic downturn; hear that Mr B? I am not spendthrift, I am an important economic indicator...

I like MAC - they don't take themselves too seriously.  I picked this lipgloss up a while ago - it's got a pic of Cruella de Ville on it, a true style icon indeed, though not dog friendly..

A few other things winked at me and asked me to take them home:

  

Orange belt from Zara

Dress from H&M - I took Piglet and his knitted vest from Winnie the Pooh as my style inspiration

  

Silk dress from Zara

 In fact it was only Mr Owen who did not to wink and beg to come home with me.

Just as well.

He would have hated my moisturiser.

Making It Up As I Go Along

The nice Illamasqua lady sent me a press release the other day for their new Spring/Summer make up collection, called Toxic Nature.  They must have seen my garden. *

It got me thinking about how make up can be such a morale booster. Well, it is for me.  Probably not such a comfort if you come home early one day to find your husband in Mac lipstick and Nars Orgasm (it's a blusher, ok) wearing a nice little frock and fishnets, but heck, it takes all sorts.

A trillion years ago when I was a trainee lawyer in a big City law firm,  6pm was the witching hour. This was when predatory qualified  lawyers would prowl around picking off any stray trainees who had not been fleet of foot enough to skedaddle, and drag them into their lair to proof read a few hundred pages of some bond documentation.  Now and again,  I would get caught, and then a long,  fun-packed evening of typo spotting and trying not to fall asleep while another trainee droned their way through section 138, default by bondholders etc., lay ahead.  

If we were really lucky, we might be released for 20 mins to go have supper in the staff canteen before returning to our task.  The canteen in the evenings was scary - just a few solitary pale young men stoking up on hamburger and chips before putting in another 98 hours at their desks.  Actually that's where Mr B used to eat every night.. 

One such evening when I was sulking at my desk, a very beautiful Chinese lawyer dropped by for a chat.  She was working late too.  She was terribly glamorous, with long silky black hair, wore elegant suits and silk blouses and her lipstick was a soft pink.  And she mentioned how, when she had to stay late, she always put on some lipstick and perfume, because it lifted her morale. I have always remembered that.   And I do find a bit of slap application is curiously relaxing, a bit of escapism. Just taking time out and feeling that you and your face can face the world again, afterwards.

Mind you, not sure the  insects in the hair look would go down too well in the City.  Or at the school gates.

The one thing I don't like about make up is what happened to me recently.  I looked in the mirror and saw a washed out, tired middle aged woman. Oh well, I thought to myself, I will look much better once I've got my make up on. 

Dahlings - I ALREADY HAD MY MAKE UP ON! AAAAAAGH!

On the subject of make up, I have discovered  (through Hestia's Larder which I love and is on my blogroll)  a blog called Facegoop.  This is a beguiling mix of humour and make up/beauty reviews, in the form of a dialogue between 2 friends.  Do go visit, it's fun and informative. http://www.facegoop.com/

So, Illamasqua. I am still loving my red lipstick in Box.

I might be tempted by one of their Toxic Nature lipsticks or lipglosses.  They have a Flagship Store in Beak St, Mayfair. They may want to bolt down the testers in readiness for a Blighty visit.

Even cars look better with a bit of cosmetic enhancement.  Saw this one yesterday.  How cute!

*Please note that no payment or products were received by me from Illamasqua for this post.  Not even the teeniest weeniest sample. The meanies.  But hey, I live in hope.

Mrs Blighty's Cold Front

Photo from Illamasqua website

Hello Dahlings! Hope you are all well. I will explain the above picture later. I just couldn't face starting the post with a photo of, say, socks.

Right, now here's a photo of socks.

You see, it's got very cold here. Not snowy cold. Not frosty in the mornings cold. But a cruel, biting wind. As I said to Mr Blighty just this morning, "Ooh, that's a cruel, biting wind."

And part of my maternal duties involves watching Boys 1 and 2 and other assorted sizes of boys play in football matches. Last term rugby, this term football. Whatever next? I was just getting used to the rugby too. For example, when during rugby matches over-excited fathers yelled "Ruck Over", I learnt not to shout back "Ruck off". Don't worry, I have no idea what "Ruck over" means either.

I have discovered that the cold and damp seems to seep up through my Hunter wellies as I stand dreaming of the post-match cuppa. A friend told me you can get liners for your Hunters and as I love spending money on accessorising my rubber wear (that sounds wrong) I was there.

I also got some welly liners for the Boys, as during the pre-Christmas snow we went on a trek through the woods with friends. On the way home Boy 1 claimed he had frostbite and it looked like our expedition was going all Scott of the Antarctic. I attempted a mother-to-boy sock transplant in the middle of a snowy field in the almost dark (one of my worst ideas since offering to help with the fraction simplification Maths homework). At this point my friend's husband masterfully flung the whimpering Boy 1 over his shoulder and strode off with him. It was just like the ending of "An Officer and A Gentleman" except without the sailor uniform...where was I? Just wandered off for a moment...

Below, some handy dandy heat warming pads I also bought. Note to self: do not confuse with Instant Noodles, probably highly toxic.

Mindful always of my role as fashion icon to the masses, I opted for these leopard numbers. Jaunty or what?

In these grey wintry days I find myself attracted to bright red lipstick. In Selfridges the other day I went to check out the MAC counter as I heard that MAC lipsticks like Ruby Woo and Russian Red were the thing. Sadly the MAC counter was swarming and too hectic for me, thought I did have a nice chat with a lady who was trying to get a lipstick to match her red Hermes bag. The terrible challenges some people have to face.

So I took refuge at the Illamasqua counter. Illamasqua is probably the only English cosmetics company out there. The sales assistant chap was charming and called me darling, and advised me to get this colour. He also Strongly Recommended I get the Matching Lipliner. So I did. You do not argue with top make up experts who call you darling.

Apparently the key is pigment: Illamasqua products are highly pigmented so in the case of this lipstick you do not need much to get the true depth of colour and the colour lasts longer on your lips. Having carried out extensive testing in the Blighty beauty room (downstairs loo) under highly controlled conditions (minus 3 mins to get boys to school; boys in bout of unarmed combat right outside the door) I can confirm this is top stuff.

Lipstick, colour:Box, and Medium Lipliner, both from Illamasqua

Now, further winter warming equipment: chocolate puddings. Full of essential nutrients...

And discounted Panettone (actually a Pandoro, the plain one without fruit in) from the local Italian deli, who were selling them off after Christmas (Mrs B, savvy shopper).

And vitamin drink. Which I hope will increase my energy levels, as my current tendency is towards hibernation.

Boy 2 was dressed up like this first thing this morning. No idea why. Maybe dressing as a Viking is his way of keeping warm. I expect all that pillaging and other stuff they got up to, kept them nice and warm.

Below, not another chocolate pudding.

This is a hat: Step One in pulling together a Tudor costume for Boy 1. The amount of dressing up that school goes in for, I expect Boys 1 and 2 to be nothing less than Dita Van Teese type burlesque artists when they grow up. Actually, I'm not sure Dita wears than many clothes for her act...

So now I just need to get a brocade doublet, cloak, tights, sword, horse, greyhounds, falcons, manor house.

At least Boy 1 is not Anne Boleyn. That part went to another boy (boys only schools: the cross-dresser's alma mater).

Have a nice weekend Dahlings and Keep Warm/Cool*

*delete as applicable, this is of course an Equal Opportunities Trans National blog.