Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Monday, 22 October 2012

Mrs Blighty Pin Up Girl

Gratuitous pic of satsumas; does not count as one of your 5 a day
Yes dahlings it's true!  I have been busy with my pin up work.

But not page 3.  Don't worry, I haven't got my satsumas out - they only come out at Christmas (as long as the central heating is on).

No, my latest obsession is Pinterest. 

It's basically sticking pics in an on-line scrapbook and the way I do it, an utterly mindless activity, so of course I love it, sooooo relaxing.

I sit "pinning" fashion pics like a demented zombie, happy as a clam, while all around me things go horribly wrong - the other night, for example, Boy 1 decided to venture upon his maiden voyage around a tin of peaches with the can opener.  Result: sudden tsunami of peach syrup due to unfortunate pressure on lid....Grandma Whacker who came into the kitchen to investigate is then stuck to the floor; strangely, the spilt juice  had the opposite effect on Boy 2 who managed to skid into the fridge door.... and as the bodies piled up, I carried on regardless, with a happy smile, pinning and writing earth shattering captions like "brown and black"*.  Vogue really need me, they so do....

Apart from an escape from the endless domestic drudgery that is my life  actually doing anything useful around the house, the Pinpinthing has introduced me to yet more fashion blogs, including Seersucker and Saddles    and Happily Grey

Seersuckers and Saddles - isn't she just the cutest?
Happily Grey  - those jeans are polka dot AND velvet, adorables dahlings!

You can check out my Pinterest here, it might help if you are having trouble sleeping!!

However, I have noticed a few unwelcome developments due to my Pinterest phase:

First, though I started well, behaving myself and writing perky little captions as to why I liked a particular outfit or notes to remind me to try certain combinations,  soon the REAL ME started creeping in and being a bit sarky - about  an all cream outfit I found myself writing, "Keep away from boys encrusted in Nutella"; to a doubled up shirt combo I appended: "2 shirts to increase the ironing."  It is only a matter of time before I start up with "knickers a good idea with micro mini" or " avoid bobble hat with stripey top unless you want to channel "Where's Wally"."

From the Where's Wally books
keep away from small boys encrusted with Nutella
From; not a good outfit for jam making

Secondly,  all these images have completely scrambled my brain and any personal style I ever had is shot;  I am currently wearing 2 shirts (one gingham, one denim), 3 pearl necklaces, spotty trousers, a stripey sailor top, a denim waistcoat, a combat jacket, one brown boot, one Converse All Star and a woolly leopard hat....I am scaring not only my children but myself (when I pass a mirror) and with Guy Fawkes night coming up...

Third, I couldn't resist putting all the crazed bushbaby outfits on my Pinpinthing, so removing any remaining doubt as to my sanity.

And worst of all, I have come to the totally predictable and deeply depressing conclusion that if you are young and beautiful, with amazing hair and glowing skin and endless legs,  you will look fab in most things, whereas, if you are Mrs Blighty, almost 50, no matter what sartorial trickery you pull, you will still look 50,  tired and worn and a bit frayed round the edges.....and adding polka dots and leopard print will just make you look tired, worn etc and slightly deranged...  but what the heck, I'm doing it anyway!

So watch out for my next Pinterest caption which will probably read, " Yeah, whatever, you're beautiful and blonde, with great skin, you look fab in dirty denim with tattered jeans and a baseball hat,  I would just look like a homeless person.."   At which point I will probably be barred from Pinterest on the grounds that bitter and twisted has no place there...

On the Street……Blue Denim, NYC
See what I mean? Young and beautiful...
From The Sartorialist

*actually, in one caption  I went with "black with brown" which of course is completely different.

Monday, 15 October 2012

In Which I am Almost Elizabeth Hurley

Dahlings, me and Miss Elizabeth Hurley have long led parallel lives....we are practically indistinguishable...(climbs back onto chair after mad fit of laughing at own joke as usual...)

As I may have mentioned in passing  a propos of nothing at all to a few people Everybody I Know (plus a terrified stranger in the frozen foods section of Tesco), Boy 1 went to the same posho pre-prep school in London attended by Miss Hurley's fact, I did say hello to her once: she was waiting to put money in the parking meter and I was trying to get Boy 2 to relinquish his death grip on said parking meter after I made the mistake of letting him feed in the I wrestled with the octopus like Boy 2 who clung on like a demented limpet while turning puce, I feel me and Miss Hurley really bonded... (note to self: need to calm down on the marine imagery/Jacques Cousteau dvds).

Here's Boy 1 back in the day:

And here is further visual evidence that we were batting way out of our league by signing up for that school: *

From CBBC News website
From Famecrawler website - yes really

Later my life and that of Miss Hurley again interconnected: the very week news of Miss Hurley's relationship to Shane Warne became public, highly compromising photos of me surfaced on the internet** and I was forced to deny rumours of an involvement with cricketer Wayne Shorn.

 And now we have another convergence.  You may recall Miss Hurley's elaborate wedding complete with Indian costume and dancing.
From Hello magazine

Well, only the other night I attended Greggs Grammar's very own Bollywood evening.

Here's my outfit.

Mr Blighty came too and I knew we were in for a good night when he mentioned he was going to leave his vest off as he might get too hot.  Phwoarrrr Mr Blighty, you animal you!

Mr Blighty followed the dance demonstration by Mr Jay Kumar very carefully - he particularly liked the move known as "change the light bulb" (though he did express concerns about whether Mr Kumar was properly certified as an electrician).  Tremendous fun! Here's a clip Mr Kumar in action.

Better go now dahlings, I'm expecting a call from Estee Lauder's people...

T, thanks for the bindi, sets off my eyes a treat

 *But worth every penny in terms of the anecdotes I have wrung out of it...
** ok, I admit I put the photos on the internet myself and on my own blog, but it's not easy being a D list sleb you know..

Monday, 8 October 2012

Unexpected Flare Up

What's wrong with this picture?

Miss Victoria Beckham, photo from the Daily Mail on-line

And this?
From Wendys' LookBook

And this? EEEEEK!!!!

Miss Katie Holmes, from Broke and Chic blog

Love this look, from Stardust and Sequins
Dahlings, I am staring in the face of a Total Fashion Trauma: it appears that flares are back.

In the Great Decluttering of 2011, out went most of my flares - I mean, they were soooo 2002!

If you need me, I'll be sulking in the corner, or possibly scouring the charity shops for my old trousers...

If all else fails, I shall embark on an anti-fashion protest and wear these....

From Stardust and Sequins