Right Now

Right now we are all about....

Laundry.

Who knew coal mining was on the curricculum at Greggs Grammar?

Christmas trees

Multiple pairs of trainers for our sporting activities

Is Boy 2 a centipede? Why so many shoes? No wonder he staggers up the drive on the way to school. Cue maternal guilt at making boys walk to school.

Trying to eat our Santa hat.

Scarfing it up. 

Photo above from the Scarf Forum, I need to buy a melon, will it count as one of my 5 a day? (it's tutorial on how to tie an Ascot cowl knot, apparently). How do I balance it on my head?

Meet Chicken* my only friend.  She is helping me sell some Hermes scarves on  Evil Bay.  If you are interested, I'm pudfish63.

* Called Chicken because she is headless.  Groan.

She is already misbehaving, all super-modelly, tantrums, wants a private jet and Cristalle champagne..I now suspect the head removal was all part of an extreme celeb weight loss fad.

Above and below,  Hermes Sous les Branches de L'Ombu

Books.  This one was interesting - I did not know that Talitha Getty was the granddaughter of Augustus John and had forgotten that old David Bailey was married to Catherine Deneuve.

 

 

 

Bargain Diane von Furstenburg dresses from the Bay of Evil.

Migraines.  Bane of my life.  Any tips? 

What are you All About these days?

TTFN

Donner und Blitzen and Expert Dog Training

Hello Dahlings!

Sunday afternoon here so have sneaked off to update you all on life at Blighty HQ.

We have had a mini heatwave here and then tremendous thunderstorms and lightning - Donner und Blitzen.  No, not the reindeer Mr B.  Ha ha, Mr B, ha ha.

So my cheapo Primark dress appeared on its annual, one day outing.

I may have mentioned I contracted serious Scarf Fever but this hot weather makes wearing a scarf impossible.  Finally I understand the lamenting of the ladies on the Purse Forum about this, yes Mr B there is such a thing as a Purse Forum and yes Mr B, First World Problem par excellence.

I can't even wear this scarf which would really be appropriate.

I confess I saw Faux Fuchsia looking divine in it on her blog so when I saw it in a different colourway on Evil Bay I snapped it up.  

I had to buy it, it has not only zebras but also giraffes on it.

Here's Faux Fuchsia modelling her scarf, see it's all her fault!  Dear FF, sorry to be a copy parrot, hope this is not too Single White Female!! Please don't tell Mrs Danvers.

Meanwhile both boys are now on hols, Boy 1 had to endure 2 more weeks at his school, while Boy 2 already on hols lived the dream of the Single Child.  He set himself a personal challenge to eat a ham and cheese toastie at Costa Coffee every day for a week.  Here he is on day 4 going for broke with 2 of them.  After this I am afraid I called time on this ruinously expensive carry on and suggested he did the summer reading challenge instead like all the other kids.

I know it's only early on in the summer hols but I am quite tempted to try trading one or both of the boys in,  in return for this brand new tiptop executive home on sale in our road.  

But don't worry, I am keeping the Monty Dog.  We are in advanced preparation for our debut in the Commonwealth Games, high jump.  Next thing you know, I will have made a top dog training video, Training for Success.  Cesar Milan, eat your heart out!

Better go, we are now experiencing a slight domestic hiccup: Mr B has run over the dog stake out line (complete with corkscrew stake thingie) with the mower - all of the line/corkscrew metal thing is now wrapped around the blades, it is probs curtains for the mower.  And for the line.

  Mr B tentatively suggested, to look on the bright side, that it was a good job the dog was not attached to it at the time.  I may have said something like "You and that bl**dy mower."  As you do.

Monty Dog and the Prize Paw Draw

How the heck did I get up here?

Dahlings, sorry I had a bit of a hiatus there (but don't worry, I can get it seen to on the National Health).

Grandma Whacker has been to stay.
 

Everyone is impressed when I tell them she drives herself from the Cotswolds to our house (resolutely all the way in the middle lane of the motorway I suspect).  They say things like, " Wow, that's brilliant, at her age," and "Let me know when she is travelling so I can take a different route."  All joking aside, she really is an excellent driver.

Unlike her daughter - today Mr B was washing the car and took me on a trip down memory lane: "This is where you scraped against the scaffolding lorry" and "This is where you hit the skip. "  To be honest I could not remember half of the alleged bumps, but hey, good times, people, good times...   I had a lot to contend with back in our London days, what with the constant problem of finding a parking space, two wriggly toddlers yodelling in the back, in particular Boy 2 (aged 4) who liked to sing along to Johnny Cash "Ring of Fire"...with just a slight time delay so you thought you had a evil pixie echo..

Boy 2

Johnny Cash during his hell raisin' Ring of Fire days before he was tamed by the love of a good woman
taken home for a bath and bed

 

Some of us made slight adjustments to our routine during Grandma Whacker's visit:

Here's Boy 1.

Here's Mr B.  

I think he should market these to all men whose MILs come to stay.  

Now on to business - I finally did the prize paw draw for the book - the brilliant thriller wot my friend wrote.

  It got a great review the other day in the Daily Mail no less, so don't miss it! review here

You will be pleased to hear that the draw was carried out under the strictest conditions.

Protective goggles were worn (almost).

Names were written down on pieces of paper. .

 
 They were then placed into the hi-tech Dogatron (patent pending, the US government is interested in this technology for the next Presidential election).

 

 

 

 

 

 Then our top scrutineer carefully selected, on a totally anonymous basis, one of the pieces of paper.

  

 

.

After a quick lunge and grab operation, we were able to get the paper out of the scrutineer's mouth and the slighty soggy winner is:

 

LPC! 

Dear LPC, congratulations my dear and I shall be in touch! To everyone else, thank you for taking part and sorry you didn't win (but at least you are not covered in dog saliva..)

Right better go, it's Sunday evening here and while Boy 2 has of course broken up from school for a week already ("Daphnes4Boy, A Few Weeks At School, Long Summers by the Pool", registered trade mark) Boy 1 still has one more week to go ("Greggs Grammar, Keeping them off the streets since 1635").

Monty Dog goes on minibreak and so does Boy 2

Last week Monty Dog went on a Luxury Minibreak in the heart of the Chilterns, near Tring.  We are going on hols in the summer and Monty can't come with, so he is going to stay at this very upmarket dog hotel.  Last week was his try out. Look at how lovely the room is where the dogs sleep and relax. I am not joking, there are day care nurseries for kids which are not as nicely appointed; I should know, I put Boys 1 and 2 in them when they were evil toddlers...

 Each dog gets his own individual bay to sleep in, there is a hose down area to freshen up after muddy walks and even CCTV to check on them at night.

 The countryside is lovely, this is the view from the garden.

The lady is just starting up her dog boarding business.  She is lovely, has her own dog Harvey and is an expert in dog training and behaviour.

Here are the details in case anyone is interested. 

I was relieved that the try out went ok and Monty did not do this to the dog hotel sofa..

I had to laugh as I drove Monty home, only a mile or so from his luxury dog hotel we passed the gates of this place.  I do in fact wonder whether I didn't get a bit muddled and left him at Champneys by mistake...

 Meanwhile the intrepid Boy 2 was on his own minibreak, a 4 day sailing trip with Daphnes4Boyz at Weymouth and Swanage, in Dorset.

They had lovely weather.

 

 

 I am very excited to get him back later today, though I expect he will be very tired, very grumpy and possibly a bit smelly...

He may have grown a beard , started smoking a pipe and become a hardened sea dog. 

In other news, I have invested in a new pair of willies* wellies.  Remember my Hunters I bought from Selfridges BD (Before Dog)?

  Every dog walker you meet will tell you Hunters are Not What They Used to Be (dark mutterings about being Made in China and being a mere fashion accessory..) Apparently Aigle Parcours are now Where It is At. 

For me the clincher is the pic of the exhausted dog next to the Aigle clad owner...

Right I am off to collect the fragrant Boy 2.  Boy 1, who has been living the dream (Single Child) is not going to be happy, he hoped I'd forget...also I have to tell Boy 1 that Monty dog has chewed yet another set of X Box headphones....have a nice weekend everyone, mine could be a bit lively!







*Dammit Blogger, stop auto correcting! You will get us both in trouble.