Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Techno Blights and Other News

Hi there Dahlings! Now, try not to be too jealous of my exciting lifestyle, but this week I took delivery of a brand new vacuum cleaner. Yes, glamour, find it here.

To my horror it arrived unassembled and I had to read the manual and fit it together myself.  I always feel that reading any product manual is a sign of defeatism, but needs must.

It was a tense moment but I managed. I expect to get a Nobel Prize for Science soon. Or at least a request to help out with the Hadron Collider.

And look - a warning about rip off bags.  I thought one only had to be careful when buying Louis Vuitton or Chanel but apparently vacuum cleaner bags are equally tricky.

In other news, now the snow has gone I am back to embracing my midlife crisis, fashion wise.  (Is the new vacuum cleaner another manifestation of this, most people buy  Meno-Porsche but maybe the new cleaner is the nearest I can get? I did enjoy taking it for a drive yesterday, it certainly has good revs).

Look, dodgy camo trousers.  Boy 1 was HORRIFIED. "Are those Army trousers you are wearing?" he asked, in shock.  Note also the studding detail on the pocket.

And look, dodgy pixie boots.  With studding.
And yes, Converse All Star hi-tops.  With leopard trim.  And studding.

It seems that studs are Key to a midlife crisis.  Also, I seem not merely to have embraced my Midlife Crisis but to have taken it out to dinner and bought it champagne.

Meanwhile I have read this.  It's very good, a murder mystery set in West Virginia, in the Appalachians.  Unfortunately I guessed who the baddie was early on.  Because I am a Smartass.  Who has read too many murder mysteries.

A Killing in the Hills [Book]

Finally Mr B and I are having Quality Couple Time watching this of an evening: Scandi Noir drama, The Bridge.

 Image for The Bridge

 It's brilliant!  And I really can't work out who the baddie is .  I love Saga, the blonde woman detective.  The Guardian have a very good blog about it, all the comments and speculation are very entertaining.


Right I'm off to watch Boy 2 play football for the school.  Wonder who will have more studs on - the entire football team on their boots, or me, in my Midlife Crisis Fashion Outfit?

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Blighty gets the Boot

Dahlings how are we all?  It's a bit soggy round these parts, and also the snow is melting...

Today is, as usual, not going to plan.

Boys 1 and 2, who in some ways resemble Thompson and Thomson from Tintin, have had another "incident":


When Boy 1 went to put his snow boots on this morning,  he discovered that Boy 2 had gone off to school wearing Boy 1's bigger boots (stay with me, it's complicated but so worth it).  Judging by the yells and oaths and muttered threats, I think perhaps Boy 2 should not come home this evening, I had better arrange for a "safe house" for him somewhere..

I have my own boot related woes.  My beloved Ugg boots which I have been wearing non-stop in the house as slippers since buying them under the expert supervision of Lovely B at Bicester Village last Sept, have sprung a hole.  How's that for a First World Problem?  Is there some sort of support group I could contact?

The good news is that I seem to have got my reading mojo back (ha! I just mistyped that as mofo, which is quite different).  There was an interesting article by David Nicholls (who wrote "One Day") in the Telegraph recently about finding time to read; coincidentally Boy 1's English teacher made them read it for homework. You can find it here It definitely rang a chord with me, particularly about repeatedly checking into the same websites...

Currently I am reading this.

Must admit, was a bit daunted what with it being so long and a Booker Prize winner and all, but it's very readable, wonderfully written and the author has made old Thomas Cromwell into a likeable character, which makes a change from all those films and plays where he is evil and calculating and, even worse, a lawyer

portrait of Cromwell as the earl of Essex

I have been putting books I have read on my Pinterest if anyone is interested.

Better go now, have to hire an armoured car to collect Boy 2 in from school tonight..

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Killer Knitwear

Dahlings, how are we today? Really?  How on earth did he get it stuck in there?  Awful!*

So Mr B and I have just finished watching The Killing 2.  Always a bit behind the times at Blighty HQ.

Gosh, it was BRILLIANT!  I had heard that it wasn't as good as the original Killing, but I loved it, in fact I think it was even better.

It ticked all the boxes for Nordic Noir:
  • knitwear - must admit I was a bit worried at the start as SaraLund (you must run it together into one word to sound authentic Danish) was sporting a plain red number; but my fears eased when I noticed it did in fact have the trad  Scandinavian pattern on it; then later a more familiar jumper reappeared - I gave such a loud shriek in recognition that Mr B thought I had seen a major plot twist.  To be honest, I don't think Mr B is fully on board, knitwear-wise, as his main comment was how on earth could a lowly police officer afford those really expensive jumpers? Remember they gave one to old Camilla Duchess of Charles? The Daily Mail told me they cost a bomb

  • gore
  • lovely sounding Danish: "Tak!"
  • that spooky music (which always speeds up at the end of each episode when they start doing a montage of the different characters so you know it's about to end and you shout "Oh no, it's the end!" and you say "Can't we just watch another episode, it's only 2am and who needs sleep really?"..)
  • Thomas Buch, considering his next snack option  Source
  • charismatic politician : Thomas Buch,  very jolly and amusing and enjoyed eating chocolate, except once when he was a bit upset and opted for a bit of fruit

  • about 15 different suspects, each of whom Definitely Did It, till you see the next episode and then you say, of course I knew it couldn't possibly be them all along...

  • Brix, SaraLund's boss, looking moody yet strangely attractive and very tall

Brix, looking enigmatic, or possibly a spot of indigestion?

  • full frontal willy shot - yes ladies, in one scene SaraLund, intent on tracking down an army officer she needs to interview, marches straight into the changing rooms/showers at the army barracks. So refreshing as a change from naked women and probably very Nordic, what with all those saunas and stuff.  I explained to Mr Blighty that this was no doubt a Very Important Scene and that I needed to see it again to search for vital clues...Mr Blighty muttered something to himself, sounded like "TotallPerverte", which I think is Danish for Top Detective?? Tak Mr B.
*don't be disgusting you lot, I was actually thinking of a recent newspaper report about kids getting their tongues stuck inside those metal drinking bottles, poor things had to have an operation to get it out.  After I had read that, I had the most dreadful urge to try sticking my own tongue in the boys' metal bottles.  What can I say, I was that kid at school, who always had to do the ONE  thing we were told not to do...

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

A bit chilly

Dahlings, how are you?   Really, a kitchen extension with an orangery and water feature? Me?  Oh no, I am very happy with my beige linoleum thank you (right eye twitches).

Here we had a bit of snow yesterday but just a light sprinkling, I have to be honest I wasn't completely happy with the coverage.

I suppose I am a bit like Faux Fuchsia and her Christmas tree coverage - she likes it plentiful and well distributed.  Well so do I, with snow.

By the way, here is a pic of the Blighty 2012 Christmas tree.  It did not have uniform coverage, as Boy 1 of his own accord took it upon himself to decorate it.  So there is heavy ornament application around the front and lower branches.  But I don't mind.  I think he shows great promise - one day perhaps he could be a window dresser for Selfridges.
Selfridges window last year - a tribute to Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama

Right, back to the cold weather.

Luckily I bought some boofy snow boots in the sales.

I also popped on my Alpine style waistcoat number, from H&M.  I bet they all wear them at Klosters.

I also rolled out my new fluffy waistcoat, Mr B bought it for me for my birthday, I must let him know.  It's very soft and stroke-able, like having a cat except it does not bring mice into the house or scratch the sofa, fingers crossed.

Last night I decided I wanted a Korat cat, till I read they were very sensitive and got upset by loud noises.  Hmm, probably not ideal for Blighty HQ then.


It is essential to eat properly when the weather is cold.

Nourishing drinks are also vital.

I have been reading in the newspapers that according to the Government and various charities,  it is very important to keep an eye on the elderly in this cold weather and call in on them to make sure they are alright.

Well, it's been a couple of days now since the cold snap started, and I am still waiting for my visit.

I even rang the council, I believe in being pro-active.

I talked to a very nice lady and explained I was an older lady and would very much like a young person to drop by the house, to make sure I was nice and warm.  I said I wasn't fussy, a young man,  6 ft 4, blonde, blue eyes, lightly muscled, six pack preferable....there would be some light duties around the house...

source - hmmm, typical

Gosh, I am feeling much warmer already...

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

So True It Hurts!

Dahlings, Happy New Year to you all!  Oh, you went to the Caribbean for Christmas? La  la la la (sings to self with hands over ears) - don't wanna hear it,  over Christmas we experimented with a touch of Norovirus (me and Boy 2 aka Team Blurp)  followed up with a dash of flu (Boy 1).  Mr Blighty tried mentioning he was experiencing a slight degree of tenderness in his stomach region but desisted when threatened with more than "slight tenderness" a bit lower down his anatomy...

Just thought I would share with you this fun video by Fiat, "In the Motherhood" which my lovely friend D just emailed me.  Enjoy (and sorry if you have already seen it, things move slowly at Blighty HQ, what with having to go everywhere with a bucket strapped to ourselves).