Medallion (Wo)Man

Necklace from TopShop

Dahlings, how are you?  Here I am modelling my new lionhead medallion, so very 1980s Versace. Grandma Whacker, who is a Leo, is after it.  But I really think you have to be a deranged marsupial to carry off this look.

This post has been brought to you through considerable adversity. In the middle of a vital step in the artistic process (eating crisps while prodding at the computer keys), the phone rang;
"Hello" says I.
"Hello" says a male voice.
"Hello" says I again (I am good at this kind of sparkling repartee).
"I'm phoning about your steam rally" says the voice.
"Er, I think you must have the wrong number, I don't think I am having a steam rally...in fact I'm not."
(At this point I have the almost overwhelming urge to go "WooWoo" and make puffing noises but manage not to).
The caller seemed very unconvinced, as though he thought I was holding out on him and really did have some sidings and a nice steam engine hidden away in the garden, but reluctantly he agreed to go away..

During this telephonic interlude Boy 1 has been poking at the computer and has lost all the uploaded photos.

Boy 1 is now in a Witness Protection Programme ....

MD Formulations - when I used to go for facials at Harrods during an ealier, pre-children skincare phase, they were very keen on this brand..it's got some sort of alpha-hydroxy whatnots in it that resurface and fill potholes

In other news I am having a Skincare Moment.  They happen occasionally.  So I have purchased this attractively named Adult Anti-Blemish Kit.  It could be worse, they could have called it "Spots and Wrinkles Aren't You The Lucky One?"  What a loss I am to the marketing profession!

There are a lot of lotions and potions to apply and lots of steps and instructions.  And numbering and cross-referencing. I am starting to wonder if I clicked on the wrong item and popped the Build Your Own Large Hadron Collider into my internet shopping basket by mistake.


Oh well.  At least I can tell Mr B hand on heart that there is no way I can rejoin the world of work as I am busy full-time with my skincare regime...

Now, just look at this Leopardy Goodness! Yum!  When I took my decluttering into the local charity shop these winked at me - they are from TopShop and for only £8 it would be a crime not to.

I do seem to be getting more and more leopardy; if I buy a leopardy sofa and rig myself up in all my leopardy items, I would be completely camouflaged...and could read novels undetected by others at Blighty HQ..

I always take great comfort in Faux Fuchsia's maxim: leopard print is a neutral

This last photo is Shocking.  Faux Fuchsia and her followers may wish to prepare themselves emotionally (copyright FF 2010/11).  My Parlux has just spluttered into non-existence.  It is an ex- Parlux etc etc.  Here it lies in the garage, waiting to go to the Big Hair Salon in the Sky.  I have a bad track record with hairdryers.  Perhaps using them to blowtorch the creme brulees was a mistake.

Must go now dahlings.  I have some shunting to do.

Sweet Charity (Shop), Sweet Love

Hello dahlings, hope you are all well!

As a style icon and fashion guru (ouch, just hurt myself laughing) I felt it was time for another outfit post. This outfit is inspired by My Life In Travel, a very attractive lady (also, incredibly mother to two small children) who has a real passion for fashion. http://life-in-travel.blogspot.com/

The other day she posted a pic of a new bracelet arrangement which I found very avantgarde.

So I thought I would have a go. The problem is, though, my very short paws. So it seems to have turned into a handcuff type set up. Which might give the wrong message. But look, I am wearing creamy/camel colour, Vogue tells me camel is THE colour for autumn.

Photo from Life in Travel

Photo from Life in Travel

Close up of Blighty's cutting edge jewellery and elephant belt; any likeness to napkins rings is purely coincidental

In other exciting fashion news, I visited a charity shop recently in the affluent commuter town of Gerrards Cross (Dr Barnados). Below is a Chanel number, priced at £200. Cor!

And a dress still with the tag on (Karen Millen) and a pink wool coat, Georges Rech, Synonyme.

Ooh, and a top from Dolce and Gabbana

Someone had just left a lot of stuff outside the door of the shop. Quite often it gets stolen before the shop opens, the charity shop lady told me.

Below, here's me trying on a Margaret Howell navy blue linen dress. I was trying to be all chic and MaiTai - the other day on her blog MaiTai posted a picture of herself in the most chic shift dress.

Sadly this dress did not fit me well and I did not want to pay more to get it altered. Also my lifestyle is not suited to dry clean only fabrics! From a practical point of view, I should spend my days in overalls or a shellsuit. But let's not depress ourselves!

Look what came home with me, ssssssh, don't tell Mr B, he is already suspicious : the evening of this unapproved purchase he came home to find me frantically cleaning the bath, loos, sinks etc, a dead giveaway of a Blighty guilty conscience.

But I have convinced myself this will look v jolly in the winter and can be worn with jeans for a casual look!

Meanwhile I seem to be stockpiling books from the library like a deranged librarian; soon more books will be in Blighty Mansions than the library and I will get raided by a SWAT team of highly trained combat librarians. NEVER MESS WITH A LIBRARIAN!

Below, this book sounds a bit like 84 Charing Cross Road, as it features letters from an English lady living in post war Britain to an elderly American gentleman. She used the letters as an escape from her everyday life, so perhaps the forerunner of blogging!

Below, all about one of the Kenyan Happy Valley set (a very louche lot), Alice de Janze. The book considers whether it was she who shot the Earl of Erroll. I am sure you have all seen the film "White Mischief".

My mother recommended the book below. The house Madresfield is not far from where she lives in The Cotswolds. Evelyn Waugh had an intense friendship with Hugh Lygon at Oxford and often stayed at the house, and Brideshead is based on the house and family. The Lygon family bought an inn in Broadway in the Cotswolds and re-named it The Lygon Arms; the Lygon is still there today, it's where we had our wedding reception. Mother is determined to visit the house, although it is not open to the public!

In other news, my inspiring quotes are not going down too well with the boys. They can spot an educational ploy a mile off. They are also expert in subverting reward systems, star charts and such like.

I heard this quoted on the radio. Zig Ziglar is some sort of motivational guru. But what I really want to know is: is that his real name? It's just too good!

Oh and here is random photo of Mavala nail polish, displayed in a small independent chemist shop in Gerrards Cross. I love this shop as it is an Aladdin's cave of all sorts of stuff. The guy that owns it used to manage the big chemist shop in Wigmore Street, London, one of those traditional chemist stores and again a real emporium of all things health and beauty related.

Mavala is about £3 a bottle, not expensive. Does anyone know if it is any good?

To prove my point about dry clean only fabrics being No Good for my Lifestyle, look what happens if you leave Boy 1 alone with toast and a jar of Nutella. Gudge City.

But I am not against chocolate, quite the opposite, I love it. The other day I bought this, I love ginger too.

But ever since, Mr Blighty has been in hiding, can't think why!

"Mr B, yoo hoo, I'm having some chocolate, do you fancy a bit?"

No, no sign of him, can't think where he has got to.

De-bunking De-Junking

I was for a long time a huge fan of those articles in magazines telling me how to de-clutter my wardrobe. It all sounded so easy and liberating; making piles of "keep", "put away" and "charity shop"; the careful wrapping of clothes in acid free tissue paper and putting into boxes; the promise of only having a few select items hanging daintily on pretty padded hangers.

I even put it into practice, including the tissue paper, though I never achieved the magazine worthy "only 5 things in the wardrobe" look.

But even back then, I noticed that de-cluttering had the perverse effect of freeing me up to buy more stuff. So that for me it became part of the early nougthies disposable fashion phase.

Then strange things started to happen. Vintage got really big. Boyfriend blazers came into fashion and there was an 80s fashion revival. The economy stuttered and took a turn for the worse. And I found myself on the point of buying cheaper versions of garments I used to own but which I had disposed of in a de-cluttering frenzy. I started to wake in the middle of the night and groan when I recalled a really nice, good quality jacket I had sent to Oxfam, the like of which I could not afford now.

So maybe this is going against the Zeitgeist (not quite sure what Zeit thingie means but I do know the meaning of pretentious) but I have decided to become hopefully not a hoarder (too Miss Havisham) but a keeper of good quality clobber, because I am now convinced that things Will Come In One Day and I want to be able to Shop My Closet. And in doing so I hope to reduce my clothes buying (for which my husband, bank account and wardrobe would be most grateful).

Is there a point to all this rambling, apart from some off-chest gettage? Most likely not, but I did want to mention how heartened I was to read reports that kitten heels are due for a comeback.

Hot on the heels of this (ouch, the electronic re-education tag put on me by the nice people at the Commission for the Repression of Awful Puns has just gone off) I saw a recent post by The Glamourai, a very slick chick who is brilliant at mixing up patterns and textures and is expert in her accessorising. Her post entitled "Short Story" showed the shoes she had been wearing recently.

http://www.theglamourai.com/search?updated-max=2010-06-18T00%3A20%3A00-04%3A00&max-results=6

These in particular rang a bell with me:

The Glamourai's Prada shoes on the Glamourai's designer legs I rushed to my wardrobe, scrabbled around a bit, hit my head, swore and then emerged triumphantly with these. At last my (failure to keep on top of things) clever keeper philosophy is paying off!

Of course, the Glamourai's shoes are Prada whereas mine are good old M and S (Marks and Sparks).

I found these too (when buying, I am never one to do things by half).

Also M andS, bronze, from a time when metallics were in.

At the moment I can't get used to the long pointy toes, they still look all wrong but given time....

As for de-cluttering, is the presence in my bookcase of an 8 year old book on the subject a sign that the book has worked or not? Shouldn't it have been de-junked too??

The Return of Tights of Death and a Surprising Discovery

Hello ladies, just when you thought it was safe to go back on-line - Tights of Death ("TODs") are lurking, waiting to get you!

These are cracking, a fine example of TODs. What was I thinking? The peachy pinky colour makes my legs look like uncooked sausages with nasty additives in them. Just because they came from TopShop is no excuse.

They are equally ugly off. Look, weird pointy shaped feet! And the stretchy lace material is harsh and itchy, with a horrid lumpy seam up the side of each leg.

I even tried to make them work by channelling Kylie in her "Can't Get You Out of My Head" video. Not a success I feel.

But at least I have outdone Kylie in the plunging neckline stakes, my plunge goes all the way down to my feet. Which makes walking difficult.

As if one pair of blancmange like tights was not enough, I bought another pair in the same colour. I thought they would look lovely with this TopShop dress. Instead on me they look vaguely surgical, as if purchased from one of those large specialist chemist shops.

The label on the tights says it all - I am a "soft touch" to take strange TODs home.

I was so unsettled by the TODS I had to play dress up, to restore my image as a style guru. Note my lions head brooch, all us fashion bloggers are majorly into animal head accessories. And see how I followed the lovely MaiTai's example by folding a silk scarf into a top. I think my colourful outfit looks very "What Katie Wore". Katie wears wonderful clothes in a very original and often quirky way, and is such a pretty girl. In fact Katie often wears vibrantly coloured tights or leggings but never TODs. She carries off her tights with great panache, due to her youth and slender limbs.
http://www.whatkatiewore.com/

The scarf is Kenzo. I like it a lot, not least as it came from the Oxfam charity shop (ever the bargainista).

Finally, look at this, found at the bottom of the bed!

I picked him up at the airport in Sweden years ago and took him home with me - what can I say, I was single at the time, with a weakness for Scandanavians. His name is Anders and he still likes to keep in touch. Mr B is very understanding. The other night Anders and I sat up late drinking Aquavit and talking about the old days; I don't remember anything after that, but it must have been a wild night for him to end up in that state, with my Pervo Glove entangled round his antlers. Life really is full of surprises.

Have a nice weekend everybody and stay away from Aquavit (and moose)!