tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54198602685778170262024-02-07T03:15:10.615+00:00BlightyBlightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.comBlogger236125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-73602726990165159952015-02-16T13:40:00.000+00:002015-02-16T13:46:41.741+00:00This and ThatA week or so ago we had a bit of this.<br>
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I dressed up like a baglady, it was so cold. I am wearing 4 jumpers in this pic, no kidding.</div>
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I realised I had to put in place a winter warmth strategy. Comforting soups and casseroles? Hot water bottles? Wooly hats? Thermal underwear? Thick socks?</div>
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NO! Instead I bought this. Obvious, really. Nothing better than a silk scarf to keep out the cold.</div>
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It's Hermes Groenland, who could resist a scarf with husky pups and polar bear pups on it?</div>
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Study this pic carefully. Do you see the tiny rip in the sofa cover? I know, it's hard to spot.</div>
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Someone who shall remain nameless, MONTY DOG, did that.</div>
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With all the cold I am dreaming of summer and this.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From <a href="http://www.maisondemarrakech.com/pages/collections" target="_blank">here</a></td></tr>
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And I have been trying out this, very woody and exotic, love it.</div>
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I am going to be Talitha Getty in Marrakesh, but without the youth, good looks, money and the sad ending. Or indeed Marrakesh. I expect we will go to Bournemouth.</div>
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The best exotic North African perfume I have tried is this. Divine. What about you? Tell me your perfume secrets!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Andy Tauer, L'Air du Desert Marocain</td></tr>
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Last night we finished watching Series 5 of this.</div>
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What a ride! And I now know the French for a "grass" which I am sure will come in useful. </div>
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Look!</div>
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That is what my sweet husband gave me for Valentine's Day.</div>
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This is what I gave him. That man is a saint to put up with me.</div>
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In my defence it does look just like Monty Dog.<br>
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And that, as they say, is that. Or this?</div>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-22704873920412015762015-01-30T16:17:00.000+00:002015-01-30T16:21:42.271+00:00LatelyLately we have been wearing our new harness-lead combo in cranberry.<br>
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Lately we are the dog du choix of the celebrity.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jo Malone's Border Terrier, from her Twitter account</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bella Freud's Border Terrier</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This one has quite the media profile</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Will Young and his BT</td></tr>
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Lately we have been catching up with our friends</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With my bestie Alfie the Wheaten Terrier</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Living the dream with my blonde beauties</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mabel, fashionista and party girl</td></tr>
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Lately we have been giving our girlfriends little tokens of our love</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gave this brooch to Mabel's owner, from the Cancer Research charity gift shop</td></tr>
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Lately we have been expressing our wild side via our hairstyle</div>
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Lately we have been enjoying some relaxing music</div>
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And inhaling some calming pheromones</div>
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It's working well. Mummy remains calm while I go outside and bark up a frenzy.</div>
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Lately walks have become colder and it's harder to chat to new friends</div>
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Lately during our sniffing we have spotted signs of spring.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8VDVT8_GG72XNrW6e61lxbYweb49z3ODVeoMjpzy_yowTxgEk24dzWHujpKOiudupiqk-fNkpKJbWbBgorPqPK2VMQiGXlo7LM95Qg4E9UQO-dnNESLsbvNh-YQdN7HOfnJxAmTJERw4F/s640/blogger-image-1792659987.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8VDVT8_GG72XNrW6e61lxbYweb49z3ODVeoMjpzy_yowTxgEk24dzWHujpKOiudupiqk-fNkpKJbWbBgorPqPK2VMQiGXlo7LM95Qg4E9UQO-dnNESLsbvNh-YQdN7HOfnJxAmTJERw4F/s320/blogger-image-1792659987.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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What have you been up to lately?</div>
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<br>Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-39956910106521613362015-01-20T16:26:00.000+00:002015-01-20T16:33:01.981+00:00Hairy Maclary and Other ClothesCold today. Plus the Apple logo appears to be floating over my garden.<br>
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Luckily I am prepared, as have found a fashion blogger in <a href="http://highlatitudestyle.com/" target="_blank">Alaska</a><br>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="#over40 color blockedt winter work look with scarf | High Latitude Style | http://www.highlatitudestyle.com" height="320" src="https://highlatitudestyle.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/highlatitudestyle-9.jpg?w=625&h=937" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="213"></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">copyright High Latitude Style</td></tr>
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It's a fascinating blog, fashion plus a insight into life in a very different place - things we never think about here, like how cars often just won't work when the temp drops below minus 40; the skill of driving when bundled up in coat and gloves and snowboots; the high cost of goods as most things are imported and many companies won't deliver to Alaska. Plus it came in handy when Boy2 had to do a homework on a cold environment. It may be the first time a geography project has been lifted from a fashion blog. A refreshing change from the old Wikipedia cut and paste. Might need to prune the paragraphs on layering while maintaining a slim silhouette...</div>
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Already had to rein Boy2, as he was very taken with the "non-contiguous state of the US" thing and so launched into a description of the other non-contig state, Hawaii. I am not an expert on climate but possibly Hawaii was not what the geography teacher had in mind. But don't worry, Boy2 is irrepressible and, deprived of his exposition on Hawaii, he bounced back with facts and photos on polar bears.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhneTVDtX1TUo9VxijpdgBun9DpmnZZ1vdu351T6Mc4fLaRbNxt7tflG6yiqc_G64qgVeZGKt6RjulcmZO9TxVZZ8_kBo2u8eAhDTuJd-5yNJZZGwB0noPwML6a_6T8FlxutGC1-mt3HPiA/s640/blogger-image-1898193595.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhneTVDtX1TUo9VxijpdgBun9DpmnZZ1vdu351T6Mc4fLaRbNxt7tflG6yiqc_G64qgVeZGKt6RjulcmZO9TxVZZ8_kBo2u8eAhDTuJd-5yNJZZGwB0noPwML6a_6T8FlxutGC1-mt3HPiA/s320/blogger-image-1898193595.jpg" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And the actual caption Boy2 used: "These 2 polar bears have developed a very good sense of smell so they can find food in the cold climate" Just these lucky 2 bears, no others!</td></tr>
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Another fashion blogger I discovered recently is <a href="https://silkpathdiary.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Silk Path Diary</a></div>
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She is so cute, elegant and well-dressed, with an amazing collection of vintage Hermes bags, scarves and some beautiful classic coats.<br>
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Inspired by her I bought this on eBay. At the bargainous price of 40 pounds.</div>
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Jigsaw, wool and cashmere, ideal for muddy dog walks. I am totally on message re buying clothes for your real, not your imaginary, lifestyle. </div>
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But then I went off piste and bought this. Hairy Maclary. A bargain at 4 pounds and real suede and Mongolian whatnot.</div>
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But really, what was I thinking?</div>
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To wear this you need to be </div>
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a) Kate Moss; </div>
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c) in The Gruffalo: the Musical; or<br>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Should I give it a deep conditioning treatment or comb for nits?</td></tr>
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I don't know whether to take it to the hairdressers or the dog groomers, I have tried smoothing it down and rearranging it but ended up with an unflattering centre parting...</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">copyright Lynley Dodd</td></tr>
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In other news, a friend posted a link about Mikhail Baryshnikov on Facebook (thanks M) and that sent me off down memory lane. Did you ever see this?</div>
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I love seeing classically trained dancers cut lose and dance more modern styles. Misha is such a great dancer, such charisma. And may I must add, PHWOARRRRRRR! Thank you, just needed to do that.<br>
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Has any one read this? </div>
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I really want to read it. Gelsey partnered with Misha, back in the day, on and off stage.</div>
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Memory lane again : a 1000 years ago Grandma Whacker and I saw old Nureyev dance Romeo and Juliet at Covent Garden, then hung around the stagedoor as he swept past in fur hat with ballerina in tow. "Not tonight" he exclaimed imperiously to the autograph hunters.</div>
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Right, now I have ended up in Memory Lane it's time to embrace the present. Maybe I'll take Hairy Maclary to the vets for his injections.</div>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-27750834177234190842015-01-13T09:32:00.000+00:002015-01-13T09:54:34.694+00:002015: A RetrospectiveNo, that's NOT a typo. I mean 2015.<br>
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I have had consultants in who advise that I need to "refresh the Blighty blog offering, while at the same time capturing the Zeitgeist." I can't afford to ask them what that means but have decided to do "something what like the other bloggers do but different."</div>
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I notice lots of blogs do "The best outfits of 2014" or "The best books read in 2014."</div>
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So here we are: <br>
Blighty 2015 - A Look Back.</div>
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It's been an eventful year.</div>
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Boy 1 dressed up in his new ski gear and burst into Grandma Whacker's room at 9pm. As Grandma commented drily: "It's a good job I don't have a heart condition."</div>
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Having clocked up 3000 hours on the Xbox over the hols, Boy 2 put on his new daygo hockey boots and went to hockey practice. Hello outside world, hello long pale atrophied things which are my legs. </div>
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Mr B went back to the drafting factory to compose new and even more intricate laws (but still refusing to pop in that clause about the Blightys not needing to pay tax ever again - I really question his contribution to our relationship, I mean, it's not much to ask, is it?)</div>
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(photo copyright Daily Record)</div>
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Grandma de-camped to Casa Whacker, relieved to have some peace and quiet and not be pounced on by adolescents in ski-gear. Below, pic of the village in the Cotswolds where Grandma resides</div>
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(photo copyright kev 747 flicker)</div>
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Monty Dog staged a disappearing act. He was gone for around an hour and a half, provoking a major search operation. Eventually we had a call from a nice lady who had found him in her garden. She spent 20 mins trying to catch him. He told me he had a lovely time, a super game of chase, and licked her kitchen floor and dishwasher by way of thanks.</div>
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And as for me, I have made my debut on the Scarf of the Day thread of the Purse Forum...yes there is such a thing. It's a group where you post photos of your scarves according to a weekly theme set by the Scarf Mistress (I may be getting carried away with the names but it's all broadly true). All the ladies are lovely and very appreciative of each others' scarves. It is very civilised and a nice refuge from teen world and dog days. I did notice in my Scarf Forum account details there is a category for "Infractions". This is currently at zero. I do wonder what exactly I will have to do to commit an infraction and how long it will be before I get thrown off the forum - posting rude jokes or vulgar double entendres? I like a challenge.</div>
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This is me posing with my chin up high to minimise chin sag. I am not going to post on the Scarf Forum too often otherwise I will get RSI to my neck.</div>
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As the ladies are so nice, I wonder if there is a parallel "Dorian Gray painting in the attic" Scarf Forum for the Cruellas and other mean ladies of this world:</div>
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"Darling, don't take this the wrong way but that rag round your neck really brings out the colour of your eyes - red"</div>
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"Girlfriend's looking a bit haggard today" etc.</div>
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Read the above book - excellent psychological thriller, highly recommended - stick with it, a bit slow at start, author has to lay the groundwork, the pay off is worth it. My friend S put me onto it, she always knows the best books to read. S is herself a published author as blogged previously. If you haven't already read her book (below), get on with it! There will be a test later...</div>
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Talking of books, have just been to see Tess Gerritsen give a talk to promote her latest Rizzoli and Isles book, Die Again. She was an excellent speaker, super intelligent, funny, amusing anecdotes - including how she started as a romance author but decided to change direction when her editors pointed out that the body count for her debut romance novel stood at 13! Here's Tess in action.</div>
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So that's 2015 all wrapped up, wonder what 2016 will bring?</div>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-27088087710480861992014-12-29T14:58:00.000+00:002015-01-12T15:06:34.146+00:00What We Did in Our Christmas HolsWe went to see Paddington the Movie. We all loved it except Boy1 who is teenage and only likes films with explosions.<br />
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I got a sprout thrown at me at 7am on Christmas morning. Nice.</div>
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Monty Dog grew huge blonde eye brows. For warmth I suppose. We are thinking of getting him a hat and duffel coat, then he would look just like Paddington</div>
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I gave Mr B some posh eau de toilette, I thought Encre Noire (black ink) sounded suitable for a parliamentary draftsman, hope it won't drive his female colleagues wild with desire. Of course now the office is modernised and last week stopped using quill pens, it should be called Beige Keyboard. </div>
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Mr B gave me a lovely MaiTai scarf ring. The colour is "prune." French for plum. No Mr B, please no prune jokes.</div>
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And a Hermes scarf.</div>
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Of course I actually bought them months ago....in our house spontaneous gifting has to be carefully orchestrated.</div>
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The scarf is La Femme Aux Semelles de Vent. Woman with Wind under her Soles. Mr B says it's the Brussel sprouts. That man has the soul of a poet. Spike Milligan. Or Purple Ronnie.</div>
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The scarf features the explorer Alexandra David-Neel, depicted on the scarf approaching Lhasa in Tibet. I had never heard of her before but I expect she is big in France. Like a French Kate Adie but without the pearl earrings.</div>
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Boy1 was given a basket ball hoop. It only took Mr B 7 and half hours to put up.</div>
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Boy2 was given various gamey gizmos and some hockey boots.</div>
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Grandma was in residence and only managed to watch about 87 films and clock about 5000 hours quality TV time.</div>
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We played games like Perudo and Uno and Bananagrams, all of which involve shouting key words at certain times, to be on the safe side I now shout "Dudo Uno Peel Split Dump" every 5 minutes whether we are playing a game or not. And Banangrams which involves making up words has been most educational, I had no idea that a 12 year old knew so many rude words. And so many linked to basket ball hoop construction.</div>
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Mr B and I have started watching The Code, an Australian drama, like The Bridge what with political cover ups and slimy bureaucrats and an eccentric genius and dum -di - dum di -dum music as each episode draws to a conclusion, but with heat and dust. It came highly recommended by Mrs Peabody, check out her blog for some cracking crime reads and viewing ideas.</div>
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I am reading this. Again heat and dust instead of the usual Nordic noir.</div>
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And I have been trying out Caron's Nuit de Noel, I wanted something Christmas piney and resin-y. It's really nice and green, but I think I might prefer Serge Lutens La Fille en Aiguilles which is supposed to be a pine forest in summer. But oh la la, the price! Les Senteurs is good for perfume samples though if you live in the UK.</div>
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Right, time for another meal. It's at least 15 minutes since we last ate so things are getting desperate.</div>
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Peel!</div>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-45729149498652899112014-12-18T13:34:00.000+00:002014-12-18T13:52:34.114+00:00A Blog is not just for ChristmasSign of the times that the first Christmas party I attend is the dog's.<br>
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All the movers and shakers of the Advanced Dog Training Class* were there.<br>
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This is Arthur. Swiss Entlebucher, financier and raconteur - he is super bright, r<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">uns a bank, often abroad for tax reasons, loads</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> of character and woofs, yips and growls his way through dog training, he has lots of anecdotes and some really rude jokes. Possibly. I don't speak dog. But that's what I imagine. Much in demand as an after-dinner speaker.</span></div>
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This is Darcey. Bouvier des Flandres, fashion icon and lady. Jackie Kennedy was a Bouvier too. So Darcey is very refined and stylish, I can see her in an Oleg Cassini suit and pillbox hat. Monty stares at her longingly with his mouth open but she is out of his league. Darcey is best kept away from any blonde bubble permed poodles, the sort that might sing "Happy Birthday Mr President".</div>
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<em>Leonard McCombe/Life Magazine/Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images</em></h3>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">President Kennedy with First Lady Jackie, in fur-trimmed suit designed by Oleg Cassini, at his inauguration.</span></div>
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And then there's Monty. Border terrier and class clown - always looking the wrong way, never concentrates, always needs the loo in the middle of class.</div>
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It was a fab party. </div>
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There was a tree.</div>
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There was tinsel.</div>
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A buffet.</div>
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Hmm, always one greedy gutzer pushing in at the buffet..<br>
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Wild party games involving the wearing of hats.</div>
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Standing on things.</div>
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Drinking.</div>
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Debauchery</div>
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Everyone got tired and emotional and had to be driven home.<br>
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In short, a cracking party.<br>
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* <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Laura Ward</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Minds Alike Animal Training and Behaviour</span></div>
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<a href="tel:07931%20566921" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" x-apple-data-detectors-result="2/0" x-apple-data-detectors-type="telephone" x-apple-data-detectors="true"><span style="color: black;">07931 566921</span></a></div>
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<a href="mailto:mindsalikeatb@gmail.com" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" target="_blank"><span style="color: black;">mindsalikeatb@gmail.com</span></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="http://www.mindsalike.tk/" target="_blank">www.</a><a href="http://animalmindsalike.co.uk/" target="_blank">animalmindsalike.co.uk</a> </span></div>
Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-29608443758944264892014-12-12T14:48:00.002+00:002014-12-12T14:48:13.717+00:00Right NowRight now we are all about....<br />
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Laundry.</div>
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Who knew coal mining was on the curricculum at Greggs Grammar?</div>
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Christmas trees</div>
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Multiple pairs of trainers for our sporting activities</div>
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Is Boy 2 a centipede? Why so many shoes? No wonder he staggers up the drive on the way to school. Cue maternal guilt at making boys walk to school.</div>
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Trying to eat our Santa hat.</div>
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Scarfing it up. </div>
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Photo above from the Scarf Forum, I need to buy a melon, will it count as one of my 5 a day? (it's tutorial on how to tie an Ascot cowl knot, apparently). How do I balance it on my head?</div>
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Meet Chicken* my only friend. She is helping me sell some Hermes scarves on Evil Bay. If you are interested, I'm pudfish63.</div>
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* Called Chicken because she is headless. Groan.</div>
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She is already misbehaving, all super-modelly, tantrums, wants a private jet and Cristalle champagne..I now suspect the head removal was all part of an extreme celeb weight loss fad.</div>
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Above and below, Hermes Sous les Branches de L'Ombu</div>
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Books. This one was interesting - I did not know that Talitha Getty was the granddaughter of Augustus John and had forgotten that old David Bailey was married to Catherine Deneuve.</div>
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Bargain Diane von Furstenburg dresses from the Bay of Evil.</div>
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Migraines. Bane of my life. Any tips? </div>
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What are you All About these days?</div>
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TTFN</div>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-70800495551555925562014-12-03T13:55:00.000+00:002014-12-03T13:55:32.068+00:00Gone Lost Her MindHello, this is the blog talking. Help! I am being badly neglected, look at the dust and tumbleweeds blowing across my deserted plains. (Enough with the poetic stuff already, doesn't suit).<br />
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Once I was flavour of the month, she was always playing about with me, putting up posts, tinkering with my layout...<br />
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But I have been supplanted by that creature - the Log? no, Pog? Wait. that's it, the DOG!<br />
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And now this....<br />
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She's put that creature in a box contraption lined with orange - yes ORANGE - corduroy - and he rides around in the front seat next to her....</div>
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And me? I never get taken anywhere now...</div>
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<br />Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-26407255419816630552014-09-03T14:08:00.000+01:002014-12-03T21:47:33.176+00:00Not What I Was ExpectingDahlings, sorry to have been AWOL but have been rather busy of late...<br />
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Was chatting to Faux Fuchsia by email yesterday and she asked me how I was feeling about THE Wedding (George Clooney,Venice).<br />
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And I have to say -<br />
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I am really a bit disappointed.<br />
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I did think there would be more glamour....<br />
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But no, since the wedding my life seems to have continued just as before, a glamour free zone.<br />
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Since becoming Mrs George Clooney I have had to deal with:<br />
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floods<br />
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complaining to the council about drainage issues<br />
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broken household appliances (dishwasher, central heating, landline telephone)</div>
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naughty dog<br />
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"WHAT-EVAH!"</div>
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naughty children</div>
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"I am NOT doing my stoopid Maths homework so there!"</div>
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And George has been no help at all - he just stands around waving and looking impossibly handsome and grinning for the cameras<br />
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Finally we got Kimberley the Dog Whisperer in. Apparently we have been doing it ALL WRONG...<br />
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she told us to put the dog in a crate<br />
the children in a boarding school<br />
the dishwasher in the dump<br />
and to send old George back to Hollywood, because quite frankly he wasn't pulling his weight around the house....<br />
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I may have got it a bit muddled as have been getting calls from the council about 2 feral children found watching TV in the electricals skip at the dump, but George has already been made head boy at Harrow and Monty Dog has taken Hollywood by storm with his eerily lifelike portrayal of a werewolf...<br />
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Meanwhile I can be found drinking pints of cider with Kimberley at the Pig and Whippet..</div>
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P.S. A big hello to Charlie and Me who very kindly asked if I was ok during my latest Blog Silence, that was very sweet of you, thank you.</div>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-13696843383948029362014-07-20T19:09:00.001+01:002014-07-20T19:13:02.179+01:00Donner und Blitzen and Expert Dog Training<div>
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Hello Dahlings!<br />
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Sunday afternoon here so have sneaked off to update you all on life at Blighty HQ.</div>
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We have had a mini heatwave here and then tremendous thunderstorms and lightning - Donner und Blitzen. No, not the reindeer Mr B. Ha ha, Mr B, ha ha.</div>
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So my cheapo Primark dress appeared on its annual, one day outing.</div>
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I may have mentioned I contracted serious Scarf Fever but this hot weather makes wearing a scarf impossible. Finally I understand the lamenting of the ladies on the Purse Forum about this, yes Mr B there is such a thing as a Purse Forum and yes Mr B, First World Problem par excellence.</div>
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I can't even wear this scarf which would really be appropriate.</div>
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I confess I saw Faux Fuchsia looking divine in it on her blog so when I saw it in a different colourway on Evil Bay I snapped it up. </div>
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I had to buy it, it has not only zebras but also giraffes on it.</div>
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Here's Faux Fuchsia modelling her scarf, see it's all her fault! Dear FF, sorry to be a copy parrot, hope this is not too Single White Female!! Please don't tell Mrs Danvers.</div>
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Meanwhile both boys are now on hols, Boy 1 had to endure 2 more weeks at his school, while Boy 2 already on hols lived the dream of the Single Child. He set himself a personal challenge to eat a ham and cheese toastie at Costa Coffee every day for a week. Here he is on day 4 going for broke with 2 of them. After this I am afraid I called time on this ruinously expensive carry on and suggested he did the summer reading challenge instead like all the other kids.</div>
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I know it's only early on in the summer hols but I am quite tempted to try trading one or both of the boys in, in return for this brand new tiptop executive home on sale in our road. </div>
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But don't worry, I am keeping the Monty Dog. We are in advanced preparation for our debut in the Commonwealth Games, high jump. Next thing you know, I will have made a top dog training video, Training for Success. Cesar Milan, eat your heart out!</div>
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Better go, we are now experiencing a slight domestic hiccup: Mr B has run over the dog stake out line (complete with corkscrew stake thingie) with the mower - all of the line/corkscrew metal thing is now wrapped around the blades, it is probs curtains for the mower. And for the line.</div>
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Mr B tentatively suggested, to look on the bright side, that it was a good job the dog was not attached to it at the time. I may have said something like "You and that bl**dy mower." As you do.</div>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-85096509254121833312014-07-13T22:25:00.000+01:002014-07-13T22:25:02.709+01:00Monty Dog and the Prize Paw Draw<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How the heck did I get up here?</td></tr>
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Dahlings, sorry I had a bit of a hiatus there (but don't worry, I can get it seen to on the National Health).<br />
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Grandma Whacker has been to stay.<br />
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Everyone is impressed when I tell them she drives herself from the Cotswolds to our house (resolutely all the way in the middle lane of the motorway I suspect). They say things like, " Wow, that's brilliant, at her age," and "Let me know when she is travelling so I can take a different route." All joking aside, she really is an excellent driver. <br />
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Unlike her daughter - today Mr B was washing the car and took me on a trip down memory lane: "This is where you scraped against the scaffolding lorry" and "This is where you hit the skip. " To be honest I could not remember half of the alleged bumps, but hey, good times, people, good times... I had a lot to contend with back in our London days, what with the constant problem of finding a parking space, two wriggly toddlers yodelling in the back, in particular Boy 2 (aged 4) who liked to sing along to Johnny Cash "Ring of Fire"...with just a slight time delay so you thought you had a evil pixie echo..<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boy 2</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Johnny Cash during his hell raisin' Ring of Fire days before he was <strike>tamed by the love of a good woman </strike><br />
taken home for a bath and bed</td></tr>
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Some of us made slight adjustments to our routine during Grandma Whacker's visit:</div>
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Here's Boy 1.</div>
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Here's Mr B. </div>
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I think he should market these to all men whose MILs come to stay. </div>
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Now on to business - I finally did the prize <strike>paw </strike>draw for the book - the brilliant thriller wot my friend wrote.<br />
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It got a great review the other day in the Daily Mail no less, so don't miss it! <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/books/article-2688019/CRIME.html" target="_blank">review here</a></div>
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You will be pleased to hear that the draw was carried out under the strictest conditions.</div>
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Protective goggles were worn (almost).</div>
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Names were written down on pieces of paper. .</div>
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They were then placed into the hi-tech Dogatron (patent pending, the US government is interested in this technology for the next Presidential election).<br />
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Then our top scrutineer carefully selected, on a totally anonymous basis, one of the pieces of paper.</div>
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After a quick lunge and grab operation, we were able to get the paper out of the scrutineer's mouth and the slighty soggy winner is:<br />
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LPC! </div>
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Dear LPC, congratulations my dear and I shall be in touch! To everyone else, thank you for taking part and sorry you didn't win (but at least you are not covered in dog saliva..)</div>
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Right better go, it's Sunday evening here and while Boy 2 has of course broken up from school for a week already ("Daphnes4Boy, A Few Weeks At School, Long Summers by the Pool", registered trade mark) Boy 1 still has one more week to go ("Greggs Grammar, Keeping them off the streets since 1635").</div>
Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-71946547839413649222014-06-25T13:06:00.001+01:002014-06-25T13:44:24.876+01:00Border Disputes and Other Key IssuesDahlings, I have had to write a stiff letter to Ines de la Fressange:<br />
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Dear Madame de la Fressange (can I call you Angie for short?)</div>
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Look here Angie!</div>
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We both know you have been style stalking me for years, copying my best looks and snatching my role as muse for old Karl L. from me....(Karl would have done much much better work if he had a mad old housewife as muse, his work with machine washable fabrics and go anywhere aprons and comfy shoes would have been Visionary).</div>
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See here's you wearing a stripey shirt under a pullover.</div>
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Well here's me.</div>
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Here's you rocking a Lacoste polo shirt.</div>
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Here's me doing the same look in my own way, using a body double. See how you have even copied the multiple medallion look, Angie?</div>
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Angie, I have turned a blind eye to this sartorial theft but now you have gone too far:</div>
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Outrageous! Copying my canine accessory! How dare you! Have you no shame? All I can say is, I hope he sheds hair on your slimline black capris and chews up your Roger Viviers.</div>
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Your sincerely</div>
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B Blighty</div>
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And then I had to write to old Kirstie Allsop</div>
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I read in the Daily Mail on-line that recently you have caused a mini furore by stating that girls should not go to university. I suspect that superficially stoopid statement was actually a very clever way of getting publicity for your latest enterprise.</div>
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But what concerns me is this picture of you with a Border Terrier. What are you thinking? There you are, encouraging people to do up their homes and scatter cushions and curtains around with gay abandon while at the same time clutching what we now refer to in our house as a Mobile Shredder. Have you seen their teeth? Huge! It is only a matter of time before old matey there chomps his way through a rug and a lovely throw embroidered by peasants in rural Gloucestershire, before setting to work on that flower arrangment. You have been warned.</div>
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Yours sincerely</div>
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B Blighty</div>
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And then I had to write to this lady.</div>
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Dear Mrs Queen Beatrix</div>
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I now understand the real reason for your abdication. They really are trouble aren't they? Well done on managing to keep the Queen gig going so long while handling a Border Terror. You were very wise though to hand over to your son so you could concentrate on Border Control issues. I like the way you look regal and serene in this photo while at the same time keeping a firm hold on the Terror. Out of interest, has he ever jumped in a canal before? </div>
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Well I was told a dog could be a lot of work but I had no idea it would involve so much correspondence.</div>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-76213547460668063922014-06-17T15:02:00.001+01:002014-06-17T20:16:21.844+01:00What was I thinking?What planet was I on when I bought this bread? (on-line)<br>
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It's dollshouse size, Nutella toast this morning took ages - had to do about 138 pieces per boy.</div>
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And why did I think Monty dog wanted to watch breakfast TV? Why did I put the TV on specially for him and leave him in front of Lorraine's Brazilian Bikini Diet special? Dog very sensibly took himself off and ate a box of tissues instead. To be honest, after watching 2 minutes of the Diet Special, I was ready to eat a box of Kleenex too.</div>
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Why did I order this? (on-line)</div>
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It's memory foam, my idea was to increase the comfort levels of Monty Dog's crate.</div>
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But somewhow I got enough to carpet the Albert Hall. </div>
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What was I thinking??</div>
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And now the darn stuff won't "remember" how to get itself back in its bag, trust me to get memory foam with amnesia.</div>
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And finally, these tragic fashion jeans? WHAT WAS I THINKING??? (on-line)</div>
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I blame all those fashion blogs but really, the clue is in the brand name - Forever 21 not Forever 50 almost 51.</div>
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I think I can rationalise all this epic sadness by pointing to my lack of prowess with numbers....</div>
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Bread 400g? nope, means nothing to me.</div>
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Memory foam X metres x Y metres - no, not a clue</div>
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Forever 21 - refers to mental age surely?</div>
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Even the dog despairs of me. </div>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-41486037817007549202014-06-13T14:16:00.002+01:002014-06-13T16:42:32.138+01:00Monty Dog goes on minibreak and so does Boy 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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Last week Monty Dog went on a Luxury Minibreak in the heart of the Chilterns, near Tring. We are going on hols in the summer and Monty can't come with, so he is going to stay at this very upmarket dog hotel. Last week was his try out. Look at how lovely the room is where the dogs sleep and relax. I am not joking, there are day care nurseries for kids which are not as nicely appointed; I should know, I put Boys 1 and 2 in them when they were evil toddlers...<br />
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Each dog gets his own individual bay to sleep in, there is a hose down area to freshen up after muddy walks and even CCTV to check on them at night.<br />
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The countryside is lovely, this is the view from the garden.<br />
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The lady is just starting up her dog boarding business. She is lovely, has her own dog Harvey and is an expert in dog training and behaviour.<br />
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Here are the details in case anyone is interested. <br />
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I was relieved that the try out went ok and Monty did not do this to the dog hotel sofa..<br />
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I had to laugh as I drove Monty home, only a mile or so from his luxury dog hotel we passed the gates of this place. I do in fact wonder whether I didn't get a bit muddled and left him at Champneys by mistake...</div>
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Meanwhile the intrepid Boy 2 was on his own minibreak, a 4 day sailing trip with Daphnes4Boyz at Weymouth and Swanage, in Dorset.<br />
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They had lovely weather.<br />
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I am very excited to get him back later today, though I expect he will be very tired, very grumpy and possibly a bit smelly...<br />
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He may have grown a beard , started smoking a pipe and become a hardened sea dog. <br />
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In other news, I have invested in a new pair of<strike> willies* </strike>wellies. Remember my Hunters I bought from Selfridges BD (Before Dog)?<br />
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Every dog walker you meet will tell you Hunters are Not What They Used to Be (dark mutterings about being Made in China and being a mere fashion accessory..) Apparently Aigle Parcours are now Where It is At. <br />
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For me the clincher is the pic of the exhausted dog next to the Aigle clad owner...<br />
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Right I am off to collect the fragrant Boy 2. Boy 1, who has been living the dream (Single Child) is not going to be happy, he hoped I'd forget...also I have to tell Boy 1 that Monty dog has chewed yet another set of X Box headphones....have a nice weekend everyone, mine could be a bit lively!<br />
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*Dammit Blogger, stop auto correcting! You will get us both in trouble.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdc1ldPiQA2itC5NsNOfa_59wOx1zRZuRY1ZPxJuLkbyCE0IGnFIXqQvIVZGax4uYZZCqJsHp3LsxKTKMCvutT637yR9djvIZXFRqJLUd8eBwO5YKxSE8vNQh_qP0CaUMUK02DtQtPyrKA/s1600/imagesCA2Y42ER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdc1ldPiQA2itC5NsNOfa_59wOx1zRZuRY1ZPxJuLkbyCE0IGnFIXqQvIVZGax4uYZZCqJsHp3LsxKTKMCvutT637yR9djvIZXFRqJLUd8eBwO5YKxSE8vNQh_qP0CaUMUK02DtQtPyrKA/s1600/imagesCA2Y42ER.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even their own ads admit the possibility of getting drenched</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Here is what came into my head first thing:<br />
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That is a weird loo.<br />
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Who knew there would be actual scarf porn?<br />
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You will be relieved* to hear that the two thoughts are not related.<br />
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Let's go to the loo first:<br />
I was watching YouTube** yesterday and there was an ad for a loo that swooshed water up your butt (sorry but can't find a delicate way of putting that, just hope the actual loo is more delicate about it). <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzSqmHwoV-RYOfKTx1JwfhcEyraUp4MFnf04jZW5Hea9ZawjI20pOyOTghmeihaEa8PijGPyDdXEzsnxIgv-0Dh5ZVgMwwXS328f_zS0da3ShiCa4l50pYmy-dmfiAtH1npj27_2gufQwM/s1600/imagesCAOYZ0AJ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzSqmHwoV-RYOfKTx1JwfhcEyraUp4MFnf04jZW5Hea9ZawjI20pOyOTghmeihaEa8PijGPyDdXEzsnxIgv-0Dh5ZVgMwwXS328f_zS0da3ShiCa4l50pYmy-dmfiAtH1npj27_2gufQwM/s1600/imagesCAOYZ0AJ.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Saucy action shot, for more please send your bank account details to this number</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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A myriad questions arise, including:<br />
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What on earth? <br />
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Is this optional or does it happen every time?<br />
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Have they looked into the Elf and Safety implications? <br />
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What if the timing is set wrong and it whooshes water at you before you have even got your pants down? How would you explain your drenched trousers?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEvFaob-7-cHA8lrl_tfivUYVxHvlyBnz4ycBWZVlq02XbzwzibpuC1tR4tqV67TmiOzGf451Ow1iibKNCtWQWmd3Hqpi4I9qwUqhKDFLfvtEy8wjkCbYAXrwmx1gxmQPxQzeML2hy4CpY/s1600/imagesCAZUMUNA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEvFaob-7-cHA8lrl_tfivUYVxHvlyBnz4ycBWZVlq02XbzwzibpuC1tR4tqV67TmiOzGf451Ow1iibKNCtWQWmd3Hqpi4I9qwUqhKDFLfvtEy8wjkCbYAXrwmx1gxmQPxQzeML2hy4CpY/s1600/imagesCAZUMUNA.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Darling did you enjoy a refreshing toileting experience?<br />
Yes but now I permanently wear sweatpants as I am getting through 8 pairs a day</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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What if your plumber gets the water pressure too high and it blasts you out of the loo on a tidal wave right into the middle of your dinner party guests?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-WVWId7SXj2gY6tpEvkLu0sLp55aK_mE9ci5RguimH23m88xk4WAjLoK0ZYDV4EK-pT_eLZyeL3oO3z8WiyXcwOBKdOxZI-MoAsmF4eRbluvXgblJi4sxXM1rHbgQidWSzMspfasTg3D5/s1600/imagesCA6SGYVH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-WVWId7SXj2gY6tpEvkLu0sLp55aK_mE9ci5RguimH23m88xk4WAjLoK0ZYDV4EK-pT_eLZyeL3oO3z8WiyXcwOBKdOxZI-MoAsmF4eRbluvXgblJi4sxXM1rHbgQidWSzMspfasTg3D5/s1600/imagesCA6SGYVH.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Now, any one for coffee and mints?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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What if the machines take over and the loo starts following you around, and every time you step out of line it mutters in sinister tones "Time to freshen up!" and blasts your bot??<br />
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Quite frankly I am surprised Mr Cameron hasn't recalled Parliament to debate the issue, or even summoned COBRA, it seems to me it could be the biggest threat facing our society since er....[insert threat of choice - Kardashians, tamagochi, ]<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoC5r_wFCWpdXkmjCQLAGVdGY2HJwDynaS9hG4ZJuZ4GMW5LR24GlMAnh6dCkkXBBH6xXM17_P-lG6nLPg7WRbNl_RSfZYK1taHjmaBM9-B6PvOUoEmynTochNu9-6SDDxrhQe7XSRIYfL/s1600/imagesCAJVVYIL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoC5r_wFCWpdXkmjCQLAGVdGY2HJwDynaS9hG4ZJuZ4GMW5LR24GlMAnh6dCkkXBBH6xXM17_P-lG6nLPg7WRbNl_RSfZYK1taHjmaBM9-B6PvOUoEmynTochNu9-6SDDxrhQe7XSRIYfL/s1600/imagesCAJVVYIL.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See it's definitely a sinister cult</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Dear readers, have you had personal experience of such loos? Please share your thoughts.<br />
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Now scarf porn:<br />
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I am currently experiencing major Scarflet Fever so was poking around the internets to see pics of scarves tied; as the Goddess MaiTai advises, when choosing a scarf, you need to see how it looks tied, not just opened out flat. This is very wise advice which of course I ignored to my cost when buying this scarf on evilBay.<br />
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Looks stunning flat.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf4nFwJZV5ysDZ2_5QkC3FBjCSRXh2czOLVMH2ewoCZ0gOqRBi9h1nVeXmfdW3-DhGwDO-SHwb2XbNDnqghpRbShwooiqRXJUSsesAyqmFzzyOSioNzcp4amGE7z8hSeSnVAN7adNpv50I/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf4nFwJZV5ysDZ2_5QkC3FBjCSRXh2czOLVMH2ewoCZ0gOqRBi9h1nVeXmfdW3-DhGwDO-SHwb2XbNDnqghpRbShwooiqRXJUSsesAyqmFzzyOSioNzcp4amGE7z8hSeSnVAN7adNpv50I/s1600/untitled.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry the Ektorp is out of stock but have you tried our meatballs?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
However when tied and worn looks worryingly like the IKEA corporate colours, I have nothing against IKEA but possibly not the look you want with your Hermes...<br />
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<br />
Among the many Google images of Hermes scarves there was one I clicked on - it then offered to show me lots of ways of tying scarves if I paid some money via PayPal..then I noticed a few others from the same "people"...Svetlana and Ludmilla would show me how to tie silk scarves and then they would get naughty....<br />
<br />
What on earth?<br />
<br />
Is this optional or does it happen every time?<br />
<br />
Have they looked into the Elf and Safety implications?<br />
<br />
Dry cleaning issues?<br />
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So my theory is that a small boy is dragged by his mother to the Hermes mothership at Faubourg St Honore and has to wait for hours while his mother peruses all the Hermes loveliness; the boy lies under the tables of the Hermes wares and looks at the ladies' legs....so forever Hermes scarves and feminine charms are linked in his impressionable psyche....***<br />
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Am I being disgusting?<br />
Probably.<br />
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But the most shocking, depraved aspect of all this:<br />
(stop reading now if you are of a delicate disposition)<br />
I am pretty sure those Hermes scarves sported by old Ludmilla and co were ...<br />
<br />
FAKE. <br />
<br />
I know. The internet is a wicked, wicked place.<br />
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*Pun intended<br />
** Ok, I admit, it was the audition scene from Flashdance, what can I say, I have a very rich cultural life<br />
*** Note to self, never ever take Boys 1 and 2 to Hermes, cannot afford them developing Hermes fetish and throwing away all their money on the hard faced Svetlanas and Ludmillas of this world, who quite frankly would not be the daughters in law I would choose and would probably have some interesting ideas re water blasting loos..<br />
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HOUSEKEEPING: PLEASE PLEASE ENTER THE BOOK GIVE AWAY CLICK ON THIS<br />
<a href="http://blightyworld.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/de-retour.html" target="_blank">LINK</a> NOW! DON'T WORRY, SVETLANA AND LUDMILLA AREN'T THERE, THEY ARE ON THEIR TEA BREAK<br />
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<br />Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-49325625794627397702014-06-07T13:06:00.000+01:002014-06-09T16:48:39.819+01:00From Our Paris Correspondent<div>
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Dahlings, these photos are hot off the press from my friend O, in Paris.<br />
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I just know you diehard Royalists will love these (Faux Fuchsia, I am thinking of you).<br />
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O was standing only a few metres away, he could have thrown a moped or a young French actress at old President Hollande.<br />
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Doesn't old Queenie look adorable in her pink bonbon number? And the Duke of Edinburgh, what a class act.<br />
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What does the man have in that black attache case? Nuclear codes? Letters of last resort? Moped drivers manuals?<br />
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O also has a fabulous Twitter account, which is retweeted by that world famous museum, the Louvre. </div>
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Please take a look, he posts the most wonderful photos he takes of Louvre works of art. He has a really great eye for detail and for bringing artworks to life. Now and again, I leave a really stupid comment, which I expect he really appreciates!!!<br />
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Right must go, off to see if I can get an audition with M. Hollande. Vroom, vroom!</div>
Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com10Amersham Amersham51.689754 -0.609585tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-52806854046204893532014-06-01T12:55:00.000+01:002014-06-01T13:01:58.674+01:00Something Nasty in the FieldDahlings did not expect to blog again so soon but had to share this as part of my personal trauma therapy.<br />
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I have a phobia about snakes.<br />
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I just saw a snake in Real Life while walking Monty Dog.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Serves me right for my post about the deadly yellow tree snak <a href="http://blightyworld.blogspot.co.uk/2010/07/hi-boy-won-here-i-am-doing-writing.html">http://blightyworld.blogspot.co.uk/2010/07/hi-boy-won-here-i-am-doing-writing.html</a></td></tr>
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So I am plodding along and suddenly notice right next to me by the hedge a grey snake coiled up in a figure of eight asleep in the sun. It's all a bit dreamlike. I don't scream or react, my mammalian brain thinks oh snake and I keep walking and keep walking and hope to goodness the dog does not decide to play with his new friend but luckily he does not even notice and I keep walking and walking and then start saying yuck, yuck, yuck.<br />
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When I have put a couple of fields between me and the Thing I phone Mr Blighty who is at a football tournament with Boy 2 and tell him and he says it's just a grass snake and I say, no it was grey and huge, it must be an anaconda, and Mr B gets all technical and nitpicky and points out anacondas are not native to Buckinghamshire and I say, well, there are lots of cheap flights these days...<br />
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And I carry on walking and feel better and then I see a red kite drifting on the warm air currents and I remember what the window cleaner who talks more than cleans told me: they like carrion, so if they swoop down and pick something up and it's alive, they drop it and once they dropped a snake on his patio...so now I feel much worse, am convinced the red kite is going to drop the snake on my head, so I walk along hunched over with one hand round the back of my neck to stop it going down my back and one hand on my head and taking tiny steps, so I look like a hundred year old woman...<br />
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And I am grateful the annoying teen Boy 1 is not with me because if he had picked it up or poked at it, he may be my dearly loved first born but I would definitely knock his teeth out...<br />
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And no, I did not stop to take a photo!!<br />
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So, it's important not to over react. Here's the plan:<br />
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We sell the house and buy a tiny flat in Marble Arch London which should be suitably urban so as to avoid any snakes in the wild (note to self: check situation re London Zoo escapees)<br />
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Boys 1 and 2 to attend inner London comprehensive<br />
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Monty Dog needs the country life so he will go to Eton<br />
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I know all the lovely Aussie ladies will think I am a total wuss, which I am. I can still remember their serpenty anecdotes on Faux Fuchsia's blog along the lines of " so I was in the car with my baby and opened the door and a black mamba slivered in so I chopped its head off with an axe" and, my personal favourite, " I saw a massive rattler next to the gas cylinders outside and I was about to shoot it when my dad said geez, you shoot that cylinder, the whole house will go up.."<br />
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But here in our cosy little pocket of rural England this is what passes for peril.<br />
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Right, if you need me, I be indoors, in my wellies with my anorak hood up, looking at London flats and the Eton entrance requirements.Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-55398289058804792022014-05-31T14:15:00.000+01:002014-05-31T14:15:14.789+01:00De Retour *Right dahlings, listen up, haven't got much time before I meet Liz Hurley for lunch/zoom round Tescos etc.<br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>Basically, it's been constant glamour and loveliness here: one very naughty dog, gallons of mud, one chewed up sofa, two pre-teen/teen boys ("But I had a shower yesterday!"), me and my increasing resemblance to the love child of Norma Desmond and Blanche Dubois and Mr B, trudging bravely on amid the chaos, hoping for a nice quiet cup of tea and a browse of the Hayter lawnmower catalogue.<br />
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Here are some visual aids:<br />
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Monty dog the Border terrier as a pup<br />
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Monty dog as he is now.<br />
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He is IN DISGRACE as, to celebrate the very first night of our new kitchen floor*, he (stop reading now if you are of a delicate disposition) wee'd on it....and in a most cunning manner: having carefully studied the lay of the land, he chose a spot where almost all evidence ran away UNDER the fridge/freezer. Nothing says glamour like crouching down shoving a dusting stick thingie under the fridge at 7am shouting, "Actually I hope it is wee, otherwise the freezer is leaking!"<br />
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Further visuals:<br />
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Mud as experienced as new dog owner during the wettest winter ever.<br />
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Bluebells in the woods.<br />
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Me grinning like a maniac, with 2 hours worth of make up and special lighting from the film studio (Norma, I told you) in the lovely MaiTai's collage of ladies wearing their Hermes. Yes, I have caught Scarflet Fever, a seriously bad dose...<br />
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Now, it's not all glamour round here, no, we also nurture ourselves intellectually and culturally: I have a met a lovely lady while dog walking, she also has a Border Terrier, Maggie (she views Monty with cautious disdain, as he rolls in unspeakable substances or steals other dogs' toys). Here is a visual of Monty and Maggie, he has a wolfish Jack Nicholson grin as he has finally managed to lure a girl back to his place:<br />
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Maggie's owner is not only a Border terrier wrangler, a practising psychologist and mother of two boys but also a newly published author of a thriller. How impressive is that? I have read it and it is fab, it had me totally gripped:<br />
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<em>Scene - the kitchen, one night, late</em><br />
Mr B: What are these meatballs doing here?<br />
Me: (head in book, totally absorbed) They are de-frosting<br />
Mr B (sounding anxious): So shall I just leave them there?<br />
Me: Mmmm, what ? yes.<br />
Mr B: (hovering) But will they be ok, they are not in the fridge?<br />
Me: (in ever so slightly exasperated tone): Yeah, they'll be fine<br />
Mr B: But ....<br />
Me: THEY ARE DEFROSTING LEAVE ME ALONE !!!!! UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEEK MEDICAL HELP TO REMOVE MEATBALLS FROM..<br />
Mr B: ok, ok, I was only asking..<br />
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Yes, it's the sort of book you can't stop reading, and any interruptions cause resentment possibly followed by violence..<br />
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As a bonus, the thriller is partly set in our corner of the world in Buckinghamshire and there is even a passing shout-out to our local Tesco, what more can one want?<br />
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<span id="goog_885951574"></span><span id="goog_885951575"></span><br />
<br />
Now, to <strike>celebrate</strike> compensate for my return to blogging, I am proposing a GIVEAWAY of a SIGNED copy of this book. All you need to do is<br />
a) follow my blog and <br />
b) leave a comment below headed GIVE ME A FREE BOOK, telling me your most recent high glamour moment (either real glamour or my version of "dog wee under fridge"glamour).<br />
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All "entries" for the book giveaway should be made by 30 June, I will then write names of all entrants on pieces of paper and see which piece Monty dog tries to eat....that's definitely fair! Of course, if he manages to eat the paper completely we may have to wait a day or so before we get the result...anyone disputing the judge's decision can come and examine the results themselves.<br />
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Right, there are strange noises coming from the kitchen, think Monty Dog might be making further improvements to the kitchen floor.<br />
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* Pretentious, comme toujours<br />
** Monty Dog ate chunks of the original floor<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It was not me...also I appear to have turned into an Ewok thingie from Star Wars</td></tr>
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-5226147859168352612014-05-26T11:22:00.001+01:002014-05-26T11:22:08.081+01:00Re-blogI think I am coming back....soon.<br />
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As an independent woman of today I miss blogging, plus my mother (Grandma Whacker) said I had to.<br />
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The blog is a handy way for Grandma Whacker to keep track of our antics from her control centre in HomePerm* Towers.<br />
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There will be lots of this.<br />
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And not so much of this<br />
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(cos we is grown up now so it is not cool to be on the old relic's blog, plus our idea of the great outdoors is opening the window while on the Xbox)<br />
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And maybe a bit of this too<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From MaitTai's blog, I am the one grinning with all my teeth</td></tr>
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Plus I may just do one of those giveaway thingies that was all cutting edge in blog world about 5 years ago...<br />
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*That should get me grounded for a week. <br />
<br />Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-68180585823350832722013-06-25T22:26:00.000+01:002013-06-26T09:34:51.967+01:00Woof woof?Dahlings, how are you? Anyone left out there? It's been so long!<br />
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But I have a great excuse. <br />
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Remember I wanted to get one of these.<br />
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Well, I went and got one of these.<br />
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Meet Monty B, Official Dog of the Blighty Blog.<br />
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He's a Border <strike>Terror</strike> Terrier and his full name is Montmorency de Monfort de Montalbano de Naughty Pants (ok, no it's not, it's just we all enjoy elaborating on his name as none of us can agree what Monty stands for, that's the problem with naming by committee; I wanted to call him something soppy like Ambrose or Quentin, while the boys favoured Killer or Poop, so Mr B set up a committee and a working party and a compromise name was hammered out...)<br />
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Monty and me have been going to puppy training classes, first we did Puppy Pre-School where we got out paws stuck in our collar and our lead tangled round the chair; then we graduated to Puppy Primary where we ate a lot of sausage and lay in the grass with our legs in the air. I know, I am a disgrace, at least Monty was well behaved...<br />
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The puppy training lady told us it was VITAL to socialise. <br />
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So I did what she said and went to Ascot.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In the distance is the Queen, in blue, giving out a prize</td></tr>
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Also I went to the Capital Radio Summertime Ball at Wembley. Saw Justin Timberlake and Taylor Swift, among others.<br />
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Sat next to these young men. And felt old.</div>
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And I went to lunch during the Festival of Fuchsia at Balthazar in Covent Garden, London, where I saw not only FF but also Janet from Gardener's Cottage, Tabitha from Bourbon and Pearls and <a href="http://hobarthousewife.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">Romy </a>. <br />
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OK, so maybe it was the dog who was meant to be seeing new people and places....but at least I am well socialised ...I hardly ever bite the postman's legs now.<br />
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Must go, got a bicycle to chase.<br />
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-16809536400776676152013-06-05T16:14:00.000+01:002013-06-05T16:18:25.783+01:00Festival of FuchsiaDahlings, it's been excitement overload. I've been participating in the Festival of Fuchsia. Dear FF, as you no doubt know, has been Over Here on a Garden Tour and to visit her sister in London. I was thrilled to go to Paris with her and her sister for the weekend.<br />
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Dahlings, I felt I had died and gone to heaven as I climbed onto the Eurostar with FF, her sis and their matching Chanel handbags.<br />
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The trip was eventful, not least because a dastardly clipboard wielding pickpocket relieved me of my iPhone on the rue de Rivoli. <br />
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So no Paris pics from me.<br />
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But I did spend an entertaining hour in the Commissariat de police, tormenting the clerk with my French. I can report that the police in France seem as preoccupied with snacks as the police here: important phone calls took place where the number of sugars in coffee was clarifed; beefy armed cops strolled in bearing cakes and biscuits; other police operatives helped themselves to buns and chocolate. I innocently asked them if they watched the French cop drama Spiral (Engrenages) and had to dig my nails in my hand to prevent hysterical laughter when the clerk told me in all seriousness that Spiral was an accurate depiction of their professional life. I must have missed the scenes involving hot chocolate and doughnuts...<br />
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<a href="http://media8.canal-plus.net/image/41/5/327415.149.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Inside Engrenages" border="0" height="169" src="http://media8.canal-plus.net/image/41/5/327415.149.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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Well FF may have shown me Chanel and Hermes, and her sister took us to the most lovely restaurants, but I feel I did my bit by showing them the inside of a police station....<br />
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FF gave me this lovely silk scarf from Honkers so I scarfed it up in a jaunty Parisian fashion.<br />
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On Sunday we strolled round the Place des Vosges and poked our noses into the Pavillon de la Reine Hotel, in a courtyard off the Place. Mr B and I spent our first wedding anniversary there. Here's a visual from those days, one of us now has less hair and one of us can no longer fit into that skirt (really wish Mr B would stop wearing my clothes...)<br />
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And what did I bring home from Paris?<br />
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Sugar lumps.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD23D3oL2fsancphN5qZD_F8OQzWNxlTQ68yfCffIm1otCCXA-eu6KRkwxL3sKGrmGr8F4eQSS_KMwW3Dttrmxts6CPoYc-DUebNyvRbIVVeyhScZ0FEgyKZfxAo3ujzgvq2lbX4F08OSC/s1600/photo.JPG4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD23D3oL2fsancphN5qZD_F8OQzWNxlTQ68yfCffIm1otCCXA-eu6KRkwxL3sKGrmGr8F4eQSS_KMwW3Dttrmxts6CPoYc-DUebNyvRbIVVeyhScZ0FEgyKZfxAo3ujzgvq2lbX4F08OSC/s320/photo.JPG4.JPG" width="320" /></a>Yes, I know, odd, but I adore the way the French do the small things in such a dinky, charming way and sugar lumps are one of them. <br />
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It was so lovely to catch up with dear FF, we talked nonstop on the Eurostar all the way there and all the way back. I'd just like to apologise to the man in seat 67 (outward) and the man in seat 32 (return); sorry about your headaches but I do think trying to climb out of the train when it was hitting 150mph was a bit extreme...<br />
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-91466712887441700972013-04-30T12:27:00.000+01:002013-04-30T12:31:47.676+01:00Menopaws and the Scottish Play<a data-ved="0CAgQjRwwAA" href="http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=K5-kY_Acdg4I7M&tbnid=N7TKT4_lGLdrqM:&ved=0CAgQjRwwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwhatsitallaboutshakespeare.blogspot.com%2F2012%2F09%2Fwhat-did-roman-polanski-do-with-macbeth.html&ei=XqB_UeDrMJD70gX_t4HYDA&psig=AFQjCNHzYjk8-Uk1kN-mXQBugcf-oJgrSw&ust=1367405022850645" id="irc_mil" style="border: 0px currentColor; clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img height="320" id="irc_mi" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8nCFAjn8UYprhvwFl6d7KVhzutbg3tiWOP9oWjy1Jq9bmAXMH5uds3h-dSBDSuahhW8hNyQk0qNIqzKtz3zlEfkGzdRKoG4aCROnqKDoBiq_UNvAsByDVJ4BfG1ejgYvYgqPxL9FFBYA/s320/macbeth1971.jpg" style="margin-top: 196px;" width="224" /></a>Dahlings, hello! Thank you all for your nice comments after my whinge about follower decline....I think that's done the trick - no one has dared unfollow since! Welcome to Hotel <strike>California</strike> Blighty - you can check out but never ever leave (is it just me or is that song really creepy? )<br />
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It's all going really well so far today - I have completely traumatised Boy 2 (aged 10). Last night I watched him and his classmates prance about in black T shirts and trousers doing highlights of Macbeth. As usual I was stuck in the corner, behind the father who used to play rugby and the father videoing it all. I couldn't actually see Boy 2. Jeez, what if I got the night wrong and went to the other class's performance?? I am pretty sure it was Daphnes4Boyz though, what with the state of the art mini-theatre complex, complete with hospitality suites, private boxes (for parents with over 4 boys at the school), crush bar, sur-titling facilities and the sponsorship of Kleinwort Bunsen ("<em><strong>Sponsoring education since 2001: our financial products are like your children - expensive and impossible to understand!").</strong></em><br />
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This morning I got all YouTube-y and showed Boy 2 the Polanski Macbeth beheading scene. I remembered it as very jolly, especially as Macbeth kept saying his lines as his head bounced down the steps. Boy 2 however burst into tears and I had to go and confess to his teacher what I had done. Note to self: if any doubt remains about my suitability as mother/primary teacher/any situation where tact and sensitivity is involved, it has now finally been removed. At this rate I could be an MP or a tabloid journalist..<br />
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Shakespeare aside, here spring has sprung and naturally my thoughts have turned to getting a cat. What?????!!!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">pic from Cats of Australia!!</td></tr>
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Yes, suddenly last week I was <em><strong>consumed</strong></em> with the idea of a cat and before I knew it I was in talks with a breeder, as I have fallen for British shorthairs. It turns out that the breeder has a lovely, grown up cat she is looking to re-house, as she is giving up breeding. He is a retired stud, which you can imagine has created great scope for jokes. She was explaining how proud he had been of his "pompoms" and it took me a minute to realise what she was talking about - the old chap has now been neutered. Poor Mr B is in shock (and not just about the de-pompom-ing) and I am dragging him off to see The Old Stud Sans Pompoms this weekend. I think it all may be my hormones - The Menopaws - to be honest, anyway we shall see! In the meantime I have been looking at<a href="http://lovelyjublies.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank"> Lovely Jublies blog</a>, which is great fun of itself and now has the added attraction of her two beautiful cats.<br />
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In other news I read this which was beautifully written but very bittersweet, in fact sad. Great review of it <a href="http://bookssnob.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/mrs-palfrey-at-the-claremont-by-elizabeth-taylor/" target="_blank">here</a><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pic from Booksnob blog</td></tr>
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I am now reading this.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">pic from Amazon</td></tr>
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I am rather sated with all my murder/detective novels and have been casting around for some more light hearted, soothing reading, with some decent prose<strike> and some light decapitation</strike>. The Elizabeth Taylor book made me realise how most of what I read is very plot driven but often with quite ropey writing <strike>and very little in the way of serious beheading.</strike><br />
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What do you chaps turn to, to cheer you up? I mean BOOKS!! I do not want to hear your sordid tales of vodka, Mars Bars and Dennis Quaid in the Big Easy ! (oops, actually that's me).<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Watch out for the gator baby!</td></tr>
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I had a lovely look at the <a href="http://www.persephonebooks.co.uk/" target="_blank">Persephone website</a>. They specialise in 20th century writers who have fallen out of print. So the hope of some charming writing and plus, the covers and endpapers are lovely. Tempting. I just happen to notice they have a shop in Covent Garden, London....<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pics from Persephone website</td></tr>
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Better go, Grandma Whacker is coming to stay. Another reason to regret the Macbeth beheading upset. Better go wipe my YouTube history and get Mr Quaid off pause..or should that be "paws?" Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-35341617893112721632013-04-21T21:55:00.003+01:002013-04-21T22:00:28.762+01:00And then my pants dropped off<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dahlings, how are you? I am pleased to report that our local<a href="http://blightyworld.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/the-meaning-of-life-and-other-big.html" target="_blank"> Shorts Wearing Man</a> is still at large, with daily sightings of him and his legs. I now have to sing a short refrain of "it's crazeey, crazeey, shorts wearing man!" whenever I drive past him, I just can't not do it. And I am wondering what on earth will happen if it actually gets hot this summer - stay tuned for possible update on Crazy Naked Man and/or local mother drives car into hedge in state of over-excitement.<br />
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This week the boys popped back into school for a spot of learning before the next set of holidays.<br />
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To celebrate* I took myself off to Bicester Village (luxury brand discount outlet and my spiritual home).<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loved this dress but even discounted it was £££££</td></tr>
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Shockingly, I bought very little. I saw a tweet a while ago along the lines of "My woman-ness is <br />
broken, I can't shop" and I felt just like that, the pathos was overwhelming.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Marni</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loved the dress on the right but even discounted it was ££££££</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyqyLK186_6evQNROd6niUA9V8fwZUpL8XODgj_HRW30GJJ7zCLveXq5vxN_RwSphwG3_pqpVuyW6e0p8hBClaqP4PM3Dc9at0qGpqIP4cA75KPlyG1L2mHHqQPPpz2n7AV-ByXdQYGdW6/s1600/IMG_0293.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyqyLK186_6evQNROd6niUA9V8fwZUpL8XODgj_HRW30GJJ7zCLveXq5vxN_RwSphwG3_pqpVuyW6e0p8hBClaqP4PM3Dc9at0qGpqIP4cA75KPlyG1L2mHHqQPPpz2n7AV-ByXdQYGdW6/s400/IMG_0293.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Above and below Jimmy Choo</td></tr>
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I came home with only liquid handwash and L'Artisan Parfumeur Mandarin eau de toilette. When I told Mr B I had bought some mandarin perfume he asked why I wanted to smell like an ancient Chinese bureaucrat- ha ha Mr B, ha ha.<br />
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In yet another exciting new fashion development I have decided pencil skirts are the Way Forward** - ones in stretchy material, though, for comfort and ease of movement.<br />
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I have decided they are more flattering for the older figure and also will eliminate the problem of "accidental lower back exposure" aka builder's bum. I have jeans from Zara which are cut too low. Recently the boys have been shouting "UUUUURHHHG MUM NO, we can see your bum, uuuuuuurh! !" when I bend down to feed one or other of the domestic appliances. It's not the kind of reaction I wish to inspire in young men.<br />
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I have taken the plunge and ordered these. I look forward to returning them shortly. And to be honest, forget the skirts, I would rather hire one of these lovely, fresh faced, perky young ladies to come look after the household for me while I lie around on the sofa...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image 1 of PENCIL SKIRT from Zara " class="image-big gaViewEvent sbdraggable" data-category="358006" data-color="504" data-ga-props="{action:'Super_Zoom', opt_label:'Ampliar'}" data-id="1214507" data-ref="04886049-V2013" data-src="//static.zara.net/photos//2013/V/0/1/p/4886/049/504/2/4886049504_1_1_2.jpg?timestamp=1365372000000" data-zoom-index="0" data-zoom-url="//static.zara.net/photos//2013/V/0/1/p/4886/049/504/2/4886049504_1_1_1.jpg?timestamp=1365372000000" height="320" id="bigImage" sb-id="04886049504" src="http://static.zara.net/photos//2013/V/0/1/p/4886/049/504/2/4886049504_1_1_2.jpg?timestamp=1365372000000" style="display: inline; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; min-height: 0px; opacity: 1; visibility: visible;" width="200" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zara - I clean your toilet now yes?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image 1 of ASOS Belted Pencil Skirt" class="main-image xl" height="320" id="ctl00_ContentMainPage_imgMainImage" itemprop="image" src="http://images.asos-media.com/inv/media/6/1/4/7/2887416/mocha/image1xl.jpg" style="border-width: 0px; left: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; top: 0px;" title="Enlarge ASOS Belted Pencil Skirt" width="250" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Asos - after I hoover I will go wash the car and then mow the lawn, ok?</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Monsoon</td></tr>
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In other exciting fashion news, Grandma Whacker has appointed me her personal stylist. Move over Rachel Zoe (and stop making Skyler wear those hats): I am now Stylist to the Stars. La Whacker is contemplating some Spring fashion purchases to take her through her many social engagements. We all know it will end in Marks and Spencer but in the meantime I think these jackets would suit the Big G very well.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Monsoon</td></tr>
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In other news I read this recently.<br />
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<a href="http://www.waterstones.com/wat/images/nbd/m/978009/955/9780099555643.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="HHhH" border="0" sb_id="ms__id318" src="http://www.waterstones.com/wat/images/nbd/m/978009/955/9780099555643.jpg" /></a><br />
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It made a big impression on me. It's the true story of an attempt by the Czech Resistance in WW2 to assassinate Reinhard Heydrich, the Nazi Protector of Czechoslovakia and one of the architects of the Holocaust, and all round despicable human being.<br />
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It's not a cosy read obviously given its subject matter, but I thought it was brilliantly done. It helped in terms of suspense that I was ignorant of this chapter of history; if you already know what happened, that might change your experience of the book.<br />
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From reading the book blogs, I gather the novel is an example of "meta fiction", where there is a story within a story: the author recounts the book writing process and also plays with the conventions of the historical novel, telling a bit of the story and then in the next chapter revealing that he invented various details. This has irritated certain readers but I liked it, I thought it was honest and made his account seem more trustworthy, not less, by showing that many details in historical accounts have been "filled in" by the author.<br />
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Other commenters have also been upset by what they felt was the author's flippant tone and it is true he makes quips, but I found this understandable as a release valve: it helped to bear the horror of what he was describing. I could not have coped with a highly charged account of the brave Resistance and the Nazi atrocities. As it was, I often had to lay the book down, exclaim "Bastards"" to myself and then carry on reading (which livened things up on one occasion when Mr B mistakenly thought I was referring to Boys 1 and 2, locked at that moment in fraternal combat).<br />
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I followed up with this - an eco end of the world novel - gosh, I am cheerful. <br />
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What are you chaps reading at the moment? Any nice, light, feel good books you can recommend, to balance things up?<br />
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Now, it has come to my attention that my follower numbers are sliding, a bit like my ill-fitting jeans. Right you lot, remember, IF YOU DARE UNFOLLOW ME, I <strong>WILL</strong> COME FOR YOU AND SHOW YOU MY TROUSER GAPPAGE IN FULL TECHNICOLOR AND IN CLOSE UP. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.***<br />
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*wicked mother<br />
** previous Ways Forward have included shirts and jeans, dresses, tunics with skinnies, gingham, leopard skin, monochrome, jewel colours, pastels, neon, colour blocking, nail varnish, full make up, no make up, tracksuit bottoms, pyjamas, Converse All Stars, high heels, no heels, no knickers (not really, just checking you are still awake), brogues, loafers, UGG boots....sartorial confusion is a cruel mistress<br />
***there goes another couple of followers<br />
<br />Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-75763391019807572672013-04-12T16:36:00.000+01:002013-04-17T14:45:31.516+01:00Cool Britannia in Scotland<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5jGSkOrnIJWge_P3rTbrMglGn_09jziphKbAUKxdkYgzmztVXXl5hA541oD9Esktu2oCGt4WRBLrjxk1TeUffTJXUM0XQ0bti8qTcMSGKIFrHyA7r8YG4o7wsEbCS-Qf5ZlCiYMR3aAJp/s1600/IMG_0239.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5jGSkOrnIJWge_P3rTbrMglGn_09jziphKbAUKxdkYgzmztVXXl5hA541oD9Esktu2oCGt4WRBLrjxk1TeUffTJXUM0XQ0bti8qTcMSGKIFrHyA7r8YG4o7wsEbCS-Qf5ZlCiYMR3aAJp/s320/IMG_0239.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
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So we went on a minibreak to Edinburgh.<br />
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We did all the usual tourist bits. <br />
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The boys loved the Camera Obscura, which has all sorts of optical illusions on display.</div>
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Boy 1 really enjoyed seeing Boy 2 like this.</div>
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This is the view from the top of the Camera.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY_IXhbAdzL54Ie8u048ha9woWCL9RQ86KEkiBG6ysvUf2TyxNtOJifz9qLhSfxvO7O7RSBW9-NUKmginE9_Qs24DoYHKL9xpbvexfqAeSZlUk1Pc-97ULoRib5uTldnq3CMJQBKluoVW4/s1600/IMG_0137.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY_IXhbAdzL54Ie8u048ha9woWCL9RQ86KEkiBG6ysvUf2TyxNtOJifz9qLhSfxvO7O7RSBW9-NUKmginE9_Qs24DoYHKL9xpbvexfqAeSZlUk1Pc-97ULoRib5uTldnq3CMJQBKluoVW4/s320/IMG_0137.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4lxqqMjmgJmh13A2ieTQzAltwAmbBBHZmrZKAY1GZuQETZ1L0LnqIuB4os6pnx3NVW-mHLO5usWxyP6RJjtbMnsAXrpwGPs7EwWbWkVTAbzg3VDhunCgdGUSwq6Ju-ifLijFN0W-K6Ylw/s1600/IMG_0139.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4lxqqMjmgJmh13A2ieTQzAltwAmbBBHZmrZKAY1GZuQETZ1L0LnqIuB4os6pnx3NVW-mHLO5usWxyP6RJjtbMnsAXrpwGPs7EwWbWkVTAbzg3VDhunCgdGUSwq6Ju-ifLijFN0W-K6Ylw/s320/IMG_0139.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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I enjoyed visiting the Royal Yacht Britannia, now permanently on display at Leith. It appealed to my nosy, looking around someone's house, side.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitbMYyU30ZGRVQjVKe2-xtfrcY7NHbZrgVAvaPk1ADwxZ3PkPY5GHWFmYbp5UPTP5b8pMxvZ7iwPFAhVHMRQSPjMn8rfZiHG4U87yGXgpSKTEg8ykHakuS2a0N4LApjk1F_XgORoBazv1h/s1600/IMG_0240.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitbMYyU30ZGRVQjVKe2-xtfrcY7NHbZrgVAvaPk1ADwxZ3PkPY5GHWFmYbp5UPTP5b8pMxvZ7iwPFAhVHMRQSPjMn8rfZiHG4U87yGXgpSKTEg8ykHakuS2a0N4LApjk1F_XgORoBazv1h/s320/IMG_0240.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-J2h_RScgmiv7vjcobloLM0-9eYlxrNuFhyphenhyphenATGbrTcB8aDgpzf9tOX14-6Vlfdpbs5i8y_F4turCVGlm704NJnZEgp9N5tn496EHMCI44crSr_q79dS8VemcnZ3qkoifz9rJy7J8YNhCx/s1600/IMG_0242.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-J2h_RScgmiv7vjcobloLM0-9eYlxrNuFhyphenhyphenATGbrTcB8aDgpzf9tOX14-6Vlfdpbs5i8y_F4turCVGlm704NJnZEgp9N5tn496EHMCI44crSr_q79dS8VemcnZ3qkoifz9rJy7J8YNhCx/s320/IMG_0242.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF0rvma7NAQoFW03bsPOF-jKMezdxt02kg_x3bOWyXmxHCL7UP3a-RScNkh5prHYiIZNzlDS6X7B7m5e-1Nnb8D6Svr6sSnM06MIwqCn9nvMzlEa-LmaOzN3HyL_jmvVaDkkij5KBbVH_N/s1600/IMG_0222.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF0rvma7NAQoFW03bsPOF-jKMezdxt02kg_x3bOWyXmxHCL7UP3a-RScNkh5prHYiIZNzlDS6X7B7m5e-1Nnb8D6Svr6sSnM06MIwqCn9nvMzlEa-LmaOzN3HyL_jmvVaDkkij5KBbVH_N/s320/IMG_0222.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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The Queen had a very modest single bed on the yacht.<br />
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And so did Prince Philip.<br />
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Life on board was very hierarchical, with different messes for the different ranks. This chap deserves to be court martialled.<br />
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The yacht was a self sufficient organism - including a huge laundry for all those white naval uniforms. The Captain had to change outfits up to 18 times a day!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirK3yyx-lzIWummKeH1B0Tl4Y3ynOD9AQ7HTk5idnFp8NLmHq3veo6B-SXnw3LFCtRGs_D0D2WwoJfh2FKkALi7hsaBgIKfcQtgosXHleNIC19H2RtJaxmegtcG2g0GgFgZMRqgJVUzFVY/s1600/IMG_0235.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirK3yyx-lzIWummKeH1B0Tl4Y3ynOD9AQ7HTk5idnFp8NLmHq3veo6B-SXnw3LFCtRGs_D0D2WwoJfh2FKkALi7hsaBgIKfcQtgosXHleNIC19H2RtJaxmegtcG2g0GgFgZMRqgJVUzFVY/s320/IMG_0235.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Here are some views from Edinburgh Castle.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNLZ_J5W2oaqvlqK-p4ivb7TIhYUB2oag-bznRwVIY4oFLlycu9ATby5OK3D7rpUtykVSWdLwLNMvXrzSjMYXW_IdDNpWZuElce7uuGe-c2YmiJNDkYQWm1Q90bB9ywevezba_V44R16N7/s1600/IMG_0270.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNLZ_J5W2oaqvlqK-p4ivb7TIhYUB2oag-bznRwVIY4oFLlycu9ATby5OK3D7rpUtykVSWdLwLNMvXrzSjMYXW_IdDNpWZuElce7uuGe-c2YmiJNDkYQWm1Q90bB9ywevezba_V44R16N7/s320/IMG_0270.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-8XWQkDCXOfYrJBtwx1A4J577qSIraYwA-OZAkQg5NCk0qvS3wIeasabyoIqpl1zTB7OlmbRcO-nSzBJTDsjGrufIzmswctNkoLySdHn4ebWMUQcthyphenhyphenXseWQZIYqGQUfxX1Ak34T4_ZDT/s1600/IMG_0268.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-8XWQkDCXOfYrJBtwx1A4J577qSIraYwA-OZAkQg5NCk0qvS3wIeasabyoIqpl1zTB7OlmbRcO-nSzBJTDsjGrufIzmswctNkoLySdHn4ebWMUQcthyphenhyphenXseWQZIYqGQUfxX1Ak34T4_ZDT/s320/IMG_0268.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmqRXIRwZ-QaoWTBWzlOXKIBSU2Ccv-1JAl_EecHeNUUr1wIbeR7Gy6zkHJRa5h1zpNLYgGojRsg6TjHYWg8Zn5kiNwpJzwGoM6gZGr-J3gg0a-6kjrMshrVLecGz0h3YNLBZfR2H8GYBy/s1600/IMG_0258.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmqRXIRwZ-QaoWTBWzlOXKIBSU2Ccv-1JAl_EecHeNUUr1wIbeR7Gy6zkHJRa5h1zpNLYgGojRsg6TjHYWg8Zn5kiNwpJzwGoM6gZGr-J3gg0a-6kjrMshrVLecGz0h3YNLBZfR2H8GYBy/s320/IMG_0258.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ29QXP9j7SUTWYmkAb8CWIZ2qUmXhGPDhPZqhBx6od62-gYRUVJU_Xrjtg97OtJub2U9es_xCqga0MKKuwnsohHsYFx8hwIRB3HpFx20WadlLrWljLOy5hqpaqinxHdCSwztIiD9d3MkX/s1600/IMG_0257.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ29QXP9j7SUTWYmkAb8CWIZ2qUmXhGPDhPZqhBx6od62-gYRUVJU_Xrjtg97OtJub2U9es_xCqga0MKKuwnsohHsYFx8hwIRB3HpFx20WadlLrWljLOy5hqpaqinxHdCSwztIiD9d3MkX/s320/IMG_0257.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Fortunately for my ears and world peace in general, I stopped Boys 1 and 2 buying anything in this shop:<br />
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5419860268577817026.post-24526452223773274412013-03-31T17:23:00.000+01:002013-03-31T17:23:39.223+01:00The Easter Bunny says Boo!Dahlings how are you? Feeling a bit sick? No, I agree, it couldn't have been the large Easter egg, it was definitely the side salad that was a smidge too far..<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDfFXKpXz-450umg62Hm3iMKIaZp94P3WkoCcHEHiwAidm45k4xIBDsKCcfOsQL42AfdXmqz4yiubveNPGVzJpV9re9c3S257_oD7BLVC2g8Sybi5ONyWD0KIF8YxlQuckfwh55w9ipCAJ/s1600/IMG_0098.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDfFXKpXz-450umg62Hm3iMKIaZp94P3WkoCcHEHiwAidm45k4xIBDsKCcfOsQL42AfdXmqz4yiubveNPGVzJpV9re9c3S257_oD7BLVC2g8Sybi5ONyWD0KIF8YxlQuckfwh55w9ipCAJ/s320/IMG_0098.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Here I have been looking after my neighbour's rabbit. A rabbit! Over Easter! See what a happening kinda person I am!<br />
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I was totally the right person for the job:<br />
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I've seen Fatal Attraction few times.<br />
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I have this suspiciously soft furry jacket*.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVvcXYt3c7O5be6VzxK4WJlXx3mR2-_l7hp-F4FpeRkDxL918GblsfpWnen7vg2Se3KvcwExnJfLGsqB6lSAypd62O6Zs2hyAT1o43DF-_VrlEhHy2CuuS7l6oXx3yDlxg5uv-fz1axC7v/s1600/IMG_4940.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVvcXYt3c7O5be6VzxK4WJlXx3mR2-_l7hp-F4FpeRkDxL918GblsfpWnen7vg2Se3KvcwExnJfLGsqB6lSAypd62O6Zs2hyAT1o43DF-_VrlEhHy2CuuS7l6oXx3yDlxg5uv-fz1axC7v/s320/IMG_4940.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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And I have this useful bunny care manual.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtvepFyuAdYc7D7agt7YRE6C4pHWczZhZiei6h0YUTTjclBM0AZypNhqqSlqagoNC4f3BxScC2RWET0d8N5FGeQlyGJoSKKENPHzcFtSxkoC3vyIy5bXLg2-E98MDURO05OOMm3LMBH_le/s1600/250px-TheBookOfBunnySuicides.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtvepFyuAdYc7D7agt7YRE6C4pHWczZhZiei6h0YUTTjclBM0AZypNhqqSlqagoNC4f3BxScC2RWET0d8N5FGeQlyGJoSKKENPHzcFtSxkoC3vyIy5bXLg2-E98MDURO05OOMm3LMBH_le/s1600/250px-TheBookOfBunnySuicides.jpg" /></a></div>
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I propped it up and changed the pages each day, to keep bunny amused.<br />
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Bunny was very cute.<br />
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Also smart - this is her reaction when she first saw me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib3-VDEX_PCnp1usNX0ZW4azNREEWTMjX7-LINbttfQzR-xuIQXIRypO12qP53V9VFWYtLNSwSthHEnGuEoFgRrHdYESGIBwXDy1BbDFyvDmnR9dbnVAIjdUi1vR_h-VfFXr-kQkhnVL61/s1600/IMG_0092.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib3-VDEX_PCnp1usNX0ZW4azNREEWTMjX7-LINbttfQzR-xuIQXIRypO12qP53V9VFWYtLNSwSthHEnGuEoFgRrHdYESGIBwXDy1BbDFyvDmnR9dbnVAIjdUi1vR_h-VfFXr-kQkhnVL61/s320/IMG_0092.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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Bye bye Bunny, it was nice to meet you and remember, if you can't see your food bowl, it's probably because you have your hind legs in it...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNYs_yPt4o5LusALo8XcwqDbJXr6taIcbegPY0VMm_7Srdb1vmtHF56VDVVuoaZzKBBHEkTXcq29Ew3QA6hsEMfBH8ROYGTftF2sGJQtNlC9JhqNwj2mt61-DFUWqaG8wfjd678wfxEsqr/s1600/IMG_0095.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNYs_yPt4o5LusALo8XcwqDbJXr6taIcbegPY0VMm_7Srdb1vmtHF56VDVVuoaZzKBBHEkTXcq29Ew3QA6hsEMfBH8ROYGTftF2sGJQtNlC9JhqNwj2mt61-DFUWqaG8wfjd678wfxEsqr/s320/IMG_0095.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
In other news, I have set up a tweet gizmo at the side of this blog. Don't miss my profound insights on life and retweets of stuff that makes me laugh. Yep, Blighty, at the cutting edge of technology, five years later...<br />
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*Relax, it's faux fur!<br />
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Blightyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17567627987700387034noreply@blogger.com6