Blighty Does Coloured Jeans

Hello Dahlings!  How are we all?


Well, you know how I don't like to be left out.  So the other day, when my first and biggest blogcrush, Ms Faux Fuchsia mentioned her new pink jeans and asked what we were styling ours up with, I felt duty bound to Get In On The Act.

I mean, it's all very well talking about coloured jeans when you are tall and blonde and beautiful; but we also need this crucial fashion trend treated from the perspective of a small marsupial with little stumpy legs and a round tummy... deranged middle aged mother..


Here are my newish bluebell blue jeans, in the sale from old Toppers.

I plan on pairing them with this new, also in the sale from old Toppers, top.

I like a top that screams PMT purchase..

I also love a photo that says can't be bothered with camera settings and other techy stuff..

Excitingly, the bluebell jeans also go with my beloved very old Brora cashmere, in the days when you could just about get something from Brora without approaching the IMF first..

 I don't wear this jumper as often as I should, considering how much I love it.  Do you do this?  This saving things for best malarkey, which is CRAZY, really we should wear and wear our nicest clothes - and not settle for the ok but not that special ones ...

I can also style my jeans up/back/off/ under/with * this gingham number - I like a top that says "Howdy, I am your waitress for the evening at Big Hal's All You Can Eat Country Bar - Be - Queue"

Oh look, another pair of reduced Toppers jeans, in dodgy pink stripy material and with the sale sticker still attached...dead classy me..

 This polka dot number can go with my red jeans - I like an outfit that says "I too can present a children's TV programme, have you seen what I can do with a balloon?"

And this lacy knitted nylon number from H&M - in theory horrid, in practice actually very flattering..

Final unique styling tips

For that Edgy Look accessorise your coloured jeans with:

• sulky pre-teen boy with scowl and small brother in arm-lock
• light coating of Nutella chocolate spread on right thigh
• flowery apron and slippers
• ankle bulge formed by yesterday's sock trapped inside trouser leg

Right. I'm off for a lie down and a rich tea biscuit.  Being a fashion icon is just exhausting.

Mrs B Armed And Ready To Save The World

The other day I dropped by Lisa at  Privilege and read a post on something mysterious called an Arm Party.  I got the wrong end of the stick and thought it meant you had actually to get together with friends and all show off and clank your bangles and bracelets and other arm accoutrements  - handcuffs, electronic tags, blood pressure monitors. bits of string off the Sunday joint (roast meat, ok) etc.. I was a bit worried about the Elf and Safety implications of such a gathering - what if I got over-excited mid-conversation, swept my hand back theatrically (as I am wont to do), and knocked out the teeth of the person next to me with an arm bulked up with bits of metal, leather, spikes and painted enamel? .... But, as Lisa explains, Arm Party is  a term invented by a feisty young New York fashion blogger called the Man Repeller http://www.manrepeller.com/.  And it simply means having lots of jewellery decorating your wrists, in an artful and eclectic manner.

Lots of the bloggy fashion girls seem to go in for arm parties.  For some, the party never stops and I applaud their ability to get out the house on time and to get through airport security unmolested.

Here is Miss Atlantic-Pacific.

Here is Miss Sterling Style

Having read Lisa's post, I knew that the world would not be safe until I had really got to grips with the whole Arm Party concept...and you know me, so selfless...so I spent a  lovely half hour or so saving the  Universe looking at bingly bangles on the internet...

I saw this,

TopShop bracelet

 And this.

TopShop bangle

 And this

TopShop charm bracelet - guess which website I was on!

In the end I bought this, I mean I did not want to, but the entire galaxy was at stake. It reminded me of those Hermes ones but was just a little bit cheaper. (And as it's just going to get covered in Nutella and toothpaste anyway....)

TopShop imitation leather bracelet £8.50

Hermes leather bracelet, a bit more than £8.50

Another Hermes leather bracelet

Phew, the world was a safe place again.

And now I know why Wonder Woman wore those cuffs.

Muuuuum can i have a snak?

Hi Boy Won here, i am doing writing today. Guest posts is cool.
Here is a pic of me. I cut out the Dennis the Menace mask, it came with my Beano comic.
I am going to send off pic and get a prize, a Nintendo DS or a helicopter or a speedboat or some stickers or other cool stuff.

I don’t like pink stuff and dresses and shoos and grils so I did not think FoeFoosha was cool. Till yesterday. Yesterday FF was cool. The pic of the snak was awsum. It made Mum shreek. Cool. Dear Missus FF plese can you post the snak to me, I will give you Mums credit card number. I will keep it in my room and feed it stuff like crisps and my brother Boy Too. I would realy like a pyton, can that other lady send me one, thank you.
We have snaks in our garden to. Mum does not belive me but we do.

This is dedly yella snak.

This is dedly tree snak

I want to get some of that net stuff for windoes and doors, it could keep snaks and my brother out. He always makes it back into the house. He is a po bott face smelli.......

This is my brother's sunflower. Mum said it was eaten by the dear that come into our garden, but I think my brother eated it as he is a compleet wirdo and chews stuff.

Oh no its Mum, look all cross.

“What are doing on the computer?
I asked you to get dressed hours ago!
Go now!

Wait! How long have you been wearing those pants?
Euch!
Put clean ones on, you can’t wear the same pants for days, it’s horrid.
No, I don’t want to smell them.
Take them off your head!

Upstairs now, get some clothes on!
No, don’t lick the mirror as you go past!
Stop swinging on the door!
Don’t you dare put those Nutella paws on the walls.....

EEEK, I’ll get the cloth
GET DRESSED NOW”

Better go, Mum has gone all shouty and horid she is a meenie, why she not just ask me nicly stead of shouting?

P.S i like that other ladie Janit too that does Tie kwando, cool

The Morning Scramble

The boys are back to school today after half-term, so the morning scramble has also re-started. No matter how hard I try to prepare ahead (clothes hung on hooks, bags packed, cattle prod fully charged) it always seems to descend into frantic chaos. I realised things were getting out of hand a while ago when a neighbour, a very nice retired lady, told me she and her husband always enjoyed watching our progress (or lack of it) up the road every morning (for example, Boy 2 lying in protest flat out on the pavement, me pulling Boy 1 out of a hedge or from behind someone’s dustbin..)

It was already a challenge. Then, in a brilliant attempt to make my life even more exciting, I decided to embrace glamour, or at least, try to get myself out of the house looking presentable rather than in Nutella-covered pyjamas. It is all to do with getting older and realising I need all the help I can get, looks-wise, and this means blowdrying my hair into a respectable shape – beautiful young girls can get away with straight, shoulder-length hair still damp from the shower, but I was looking haggard and worryingly like Rasputin on a bad hair day.



Parlux as recommended by FF and top hairdressers
So the morning timeline now goes something like this:
5.45am Mr B arises, ablutes, breakfasts and departs in one swift, fluid operation (that man can really move when he wants, as evidenced by the wedding escape attempt, so glad I went for the armed guard option when arranging the wedding cars).
6.35am I dream about Leonardo di Caprio, though worryingly fantasy involves me going to collect Leonardo’s car from valet parking; so sad that even my dreams involve boring admin tasks and even sadder that I find this really quite exciting.
6.45am Boy 1 standing by my bed fully dressed including school tie, looking vaguely menacing.
6.47am Haul sorry carcass to shower.
7.05am Prepare myself mentally and physically for Blow Drying Operation. Apply Sectioning Clips as advised by hairdresser (had never heard of these before and Mr B v amused, saying he always thought I needed sectioning*, ha ha, Mr B, ha ha).
7.06am Begin drying operation.
7.07am Incredible wailing and screaming from region of Boy 2. Ignore, carry on drying.
7.08am Boys 1 and 2 now involved in violent verbal altercation, then hysterical crying from Boy 2. Switch off dryer most reluctantly and investigate. Boy 2, clad only in underpants, is puce and covered in tears and shouts “He’s stolen my £5 note.” Go into top investigative mode and finally, after extensive cross-examination and forensic work, ascertain that:
Boy 2 gave Boy 1 £5 note (gift from Grandma) in return for 2 Pokemon cards several weeks ago;
Boy 2 now wishes to undo deal;
Boy 1 feels a contract is a contract.
7.30am I invoke dodgy equitable principles à la esteemed judge/lawlord, cite “restitutio in integrum” which I vaguely remember from term 1 of law degree and make Boy 1 give back money and Boy 2 return cards.
7.35am Return to hair which has now dried in funny way and sticks up due to sectioning clips.
7.40am Realise time, abandon hair, rush downstairs, frantically get Nutella all over kitchen worktop and self, throw assorted foodstuffs at boys, make hot chocolate which Boy 2 NEVER actually drinks.

Breakfast, a time of calm and quiet and undrunk hot chocolate

7.50am Boy 1 now lounging comfortably on sofa in kitchen deep in book, refusing to do teeth, put shoes on or remove Nutella from face, on grounds that we are irredeemably late, and it is all my fault for “lying in bed snoring”.
7.55am Chase both boys round kitchen table as part of morning exercise regime.
8am Load boys, rucksacks, tennis rackets, cricket bats, book bags etc into boot of car.
8.01am Let boys out of boot of car so they can climb into car seats.
8.04am Decant boys at school, wave merrily and drive off at top speed.
8.06am Return to school as have forgotten to unload clobber from boot.
8.10am Return home and survey the scene, lie down till feelings of futility and exhaustion pass..
And the best thing? We get to do it all again tomorrow!


Has that child gone to school without socks on again?

Dental hygiene is so important

No, words fail me, I'm off for another lie down

* UK Mental Health Acts