Summer Washout

After tantalising us with one week of tropical goodness (sunburnt shoulders from coffee date at garden centre, I live on the edge) the weather here has gone completely to pot - cold, rainy, windy....blaaaaah.

The pond has returned to the road, but this time I have to report that Mrs Mallard , single mother, is no longer in residence.  She valiantly sat on her eggs day and night for about 4 weeks, only leaving occasionally to eat out (she spurned my offerings of water and lettuce which is apparently what you should give ducks - I had a lovely chat with the Protection of Birds lady).  I had cardboard boxes ready to transport Mama Duck and chicks to local pond.   A bit like having your bag ready for the hospital.

Then one morning Ma and the eggs were gone - they appeared to have hatched - so I guess she marched them off in the early hours herself.  I really hope they got there safely.  Mama Duck had plenty of time to observe my skills at getting Boys 1 and 2 out of the door, so probably decided she had better get on with it herself, without letting an amateur in troop movements intervene. Wise old bird.

I do miss her, I got used to peeking at her every time I left and returned to the house.  Should I be worried that my most important emotional attachment recently was to a duck? Don't answer that.

Here's video of a duck rescue.

In other news, before I went to Paris (did I mention I went to Paris?) I had a little scoot round the old Happy Valleys Shoppe Centre .

Silk dress by  French Connection, made me feel cold just looking at it

French Connection

Brrrrr, not warm enough for these

Loved the navy sequined jumper - Whistles

Whistles

Hobbs - loved this on the mannequin

NW3 - younger sister brand of Hobbs

NW3

 Snuck into changing rooms to play dress up. Noooo,  I look like a deckchair

Hobbs

NW3

NW3

All about NW3 here.  I liked these dresses but with the navy one priced at £99 I resisted temptation, back in the day you could get that sort of look at TopShop for a lot less, of course now Toppers has gone all micro mini and frilly...
Anyway, enough of dresses, the only sensible attire right now is raincoat and wellies..and possibly waders for visiting ducks..

Blighty Does Coloured Jeans

Hello Dahlings!  How are we all?


Well, you know how I don't like to be left out.  So the other day, when my first and biggest blogcrush, Ms Faux Fuchsia mentioned her new pink jeans and asked what we were styling ours up with, I felt duty bound to Get In On The Act.

I mean, it's all very well talking about coloured jeans when you are tall and blonde and beautiful; but we also need this crucial fashion trend treated from the perspective of a small marsupial with little stumpy legs and a round tummy... deranged middle aged mother..


Here are my newish bluebell blue jeans, in the sale from old Toppers.

I plan on pairing them with this new, also in the sale from old Toppers, top.

I like a top that screams PMT purchase..

I also love a photo that says can't be bothered with camera settings and other techy stuff..

Excitingly, the bluebell jeans also go with my beloved very old Brora cashmere, in the days when you could just about get something from Brora without approaching the IMF first..

 I don't wear this jumper as often as I should, considering how much I love it.  Do you do this?  This saving things for best malarkey, which is CRAZY, really we should wear and wear our nicest clothes - and not settle for the ok but not that special ones ...

I can also style my jeans up/back/off/ under/with * this gingham number - I like a top that says "Howdy, I am your waitress for the evening at Big Hal's All You Can Eat Country Bar - Be - Queue"

Oh look, another pair of reduced Toppers jeans, in dodgy pink stripy material and with the sale sticker still attached...dead classy me..

 This polka dot number can go with my red jeans - I like an outfit that says "I too can present a children's TV programme, have you seen what I can do with a balloon?"

And this lacy knitted nylon number from H&M - in theory horrid, in practice actually very flattering..

Final unique styling tips

For that Edgy Look accessorise your coloured jeans with:

• sulky pre-teen boy with scowl and small brother in arm-lock
• light coating of Nutella chocolate spread on right thigh
• flowery apron and slippers
• ankle bulge formed by yesterday's sock trapped inside trouser leg

Right. I'm off for a lie down and a rich tea biscuit.  Being a fashion icon is just exhausting.

LA Woman

Hello,  my name is Mrs Blighty and I am addicted to all things leopardy, and that is why I have come to Leopards Anonymous.

The shops continue to act as enablers: everywhere I look there is leopardy goodness to be had.

I bought these little leopardy numbers as I JUST HAD TO. (Note to Mr B, Head of Austerity Measures, Blighty HQ - they were from New Look and therefore Cheap as Chips, so would have been a Crime not to buy them).

And I NEEEEEEED this cardi from Pure.  Need. It. Badly.

(Note: I think the other hand in the above photo is that of the chap the model is with; at least I really hope it is...)

And look at this dress from old Toppers (TopShop).

Right.  I WILL be STRONG.  I am off for a lie down and a look at the school fees invoice.
That'll calm me down.

Mmmmm, could really do with some leopard print silk lounging pyjamas. RRRRRRRR!

Mrs B Armed And Ready To Save The World

The other day I dropped by Lisa at  Privilege and read a post on something mysterious called an Arm Party.  I got the wrong end of the stick and thought it meant you had actually to get together with friends and all show off and clank your bangles and bracelets and other arm accoutrements  - handcuffs, electronic tags, blood pressure monitors. bits of string off the Sunday joint (roast meat, ok) etc.. I was a bit worried about the Elf and Safety implications of such a gathering - what if I got over-excited mid-conversation, swept my hand back theatrically (as I am wont to do), and knocked out the teeth of the person next to me with an arm bulked up with bits of metal, leather, spikes and painted enamel? .... But, as Lisa explains, Arm Party is  a term invented by a feisty young New York fashion blogger called the Man Repeller http://www.manrepeller.com/.  And it simply means having lots of jewellery decorating your wrists, in an artful and eclectic manner.

Lots of the bloggy fashion girls seem to go in for arm parties.  For some, the party never stops and I applaud their ability to get out the house on time and to get through airport security unmolested.

Here is Miss Atlantic-Pacific.

Here is Miss Sterling Style

Having read Lisa's post, I knew that the world would not be safe until I had really got to grips with the whole Arm Party concept...and you know me, so selfless...so I spent a  lovely half hour or so saving the  Universe looking at bingly bangles on the internet...

I saw this,

TopShop bracelet

 And this.

TopShop bangle

 And this

TopShop charm bracelet - guess which website I was on!

In the end I bought this, I mean I did not want to, but the entire galaxy was at stake. It reminded me of those Hermes ones but was just a little bit cheaper. (And as it's just going to get covered in Nutella and toothpaste anyway....)

TopShop imitation leather bracelet £8.50

Hermes leather bracelet, a bit more than £8.50

Another Hermes leather bracelet

Phew, the world was a safe place again.

And now I know why Wonder Woman wore those cuffs.

Catch Up (What did the Mummy Tomato say to the Baby Tomato?)

Dahlings, I have been such a terrible blogger recently, I do apologise. After my release from house arrest - I mean - now that school hols have finished - life seems to have resumed with a rush.

Getting back into the school routine was quite frankly a struggle. I know how this lady feels.

The boys weren't too keen on going back to school either. But one day someone brought in some puppies for the boys to see. Here's Boy 1 - he is surprisingly gentle with animals and babies - it's only Boy 2 he likes to thump about. There were 3 of these retriever puppies, about 8 weeks old I think, and very sleepy after all the attention from the boys.

Here's a book I got in the January sales. It lampoons mercilessly lots of well known books (the author has a column in a newspaper doing this). Probably best to dip in and out of, rather than read all in one go. Some of it's very crude and over the top as the books spoofed include Lady Chatterley's Lover; Crash; and American Psycho. I did think the author crossed over a line when he takes on The Great Gatsby and Love in a Cold Climate, those books are sacrosanct!!

I went on a little jaunt up to London and called in at the Oxford Street TopShop.

I think I really am getting too old for TopShop. Look at those girls' hair. Weird.

And their eye shadow application definitely errs on the over-enthusiastic side.

Is this a look I should adopt for parent/teacher meetings?

And this poor girl has gone to the other extreme - no hair at all and suspended from the ceiling by a rope. Not good.

I tried a couple of dresses on but my heart wasn't in it. This was crumply and creasy.

This looks like a 1970s air hostess outfit - British Airways I think, the crimplene must be a fire risk.

I also swung by H&M. I liked this skirt, but did not buy it, I could just see it languishing in the wardrobe looking pretty but unworn. When did I get so sensible? Shocking.

I liked the dogs in the H&M window. Maybe I could get Boy 1 one of those?

Must go, Mr B has come home and is now playing with the boys' Scalextric racing car thing. All by himself. The boys are in bed. I guess Mr B is reliving his youth.

Service Disruption

Dear All,

Please note that normal, well, usual, service, will be disrupted due to school holidays. Please bear with me as I carry out important child maintenance work.



The weather has gone a bit chilly and we will be doing lots of healthy outdoor pursuits, so I have invested in some sensible headgear.

And during these holidays, I am going to keep calm and collected, and not go all peculiar...

Must go, even as I type, boys are carrying out Hussain Bolt type sprint time trials in corridor upstairs. Only now do I realise that concrete floors are something we should have put on our non-negotiable wishlist when house hunting.. elephants...herd of...give me strength

Pictures courtesy of TopShop.com, purpose of these items unclear..

The blog goes all teenage

My blog is nothing if not a huge copycat (or copy parrot as Boy 1 used to say, which is, I suppose, logical). In particular my blog is slavishly devoted to the glamorous Faux Fuchsia blog. Since FF blog is having a mid-life crisis, my blog has decided it needs to have a crisis too. But as my blog is much younger and sillier, it is having a teenage moment instead.


First it went all touchy and offhand and sarcastic:

Duh!

Whatever!

As if!

Loser!



And apparently no one understands it! (no change there then).

And it never asked to be created.



It refused to get up this morning, I mean what sort of time is this for a post?


It has lost all interest in sport (Steven Gerrard and mountain biking) and instead wants to hang around shops and listen to Capital FM. It likes pop music by people with confusing names like Tinchy Strider and Tiny Temper and it laughs at me when I get the names all wrong - Lady GooGoo, Jason dePencil, no, deRulo. Jason sings a song entitled "Ridin' Solo" where he seems to say he is getting his "sheep" together - the blog got cross when I asked whether Mr DeRulo was involved in animal husbandry.




The blog was so moody and down that today I had to take it up to TopShop at Oxford Circus so it could hang out with all the other teenagers. It insisted on taking its faux leopard bag which really is not sensible as it does not have a nice secure zip and cannot be sponged down easily.

Once at TopShop the blog behaved really quite badly. It immediately got told off for trying to take a pic of a faux leopard fur coat on its phone. And sulked.

We then had a tremendous tussle over some new slippers for wearing in the house. I said some nice quilted velour ones would be good. It insisted on these. What, I asked, are all those metal studs for? And white is really going to show up any food stains. The blog threatened to burst into tears and in the end I gave in.

I then said I would buy the blog a nice flattering pair of slacks for best. It sulked until I allowed it to take some other "trendier" kit to try on too.

Things got tense again when I remarked the effect of this blouse was lampshade-like and did the blog really want to spend all day standing around in the living room next to the sofa?

And the voluminous sleeves were voluminous. Good for hiding cupcakes or white rabbits.

Against my advice, leopard harem pants were tried on. I laughed and said a nice skirt would be more flattering. The blog grumped and said I just did not "get" fashion.

Then this hoodie. "You are not going out looking like that!" and "What exactly is the point of that garment, it is not going to be very warm or keep the rain off and what about washing it?" were some of the insights I shared. The blog got really huffy.

I managed to lure the blog out of TopShop with the promise of a megaFrappucino and crisps and cupcakes (covers all teen food groups) at Fatbucks. We then sloped along to Selfridges and caught sight of this window display.

The blog convinced me it needed new, "cooler" wellies, despite the fact it already has a nice children's pair in pale pink with dark pink hearts on. It said everyone wears Hunters these days.

So off to the new Selfridges Shoe Galleries, very posh and full of all sorts of brands, including the usual suspects: Jimmy Choo, Louboutin.

I bought the wellies but managed to persuade the blog to go for a sensible colour, not bright pink.



The blog also fell in love with these Repettos but I held firm. Maybe for the blog's birthday.

I did manage a bit of shopping for myself too. I was very taken with this navy blue/leopard print combo as seen in this pic from The Sartorialist.

So I went for this shirt, from Zara. No doubt the blog will borrow it without asking and spill Diet Coke all over it.

Must go now, the blog wants to be taken over to its friend's house to listen to music, play around with* make up and talk about* boys.

*Jeez, I hope I got these the right way round, otherwise me and the blog need to have a little chat ..