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Friday, 8 October 2010

The blog goes all teenage

My blog is nothing if not a huge copycat (or copy parrot as Boy 1 used to say, which is, I suppose, logical). In particular my blog is slavishly devoted to the glamorous Faux Fuchsia blog. Since FF blog is having a mid-life crisis, my blog has decided it needs to have a crisis too. But as my blog is much younger and sillier, it is having a teenage moment instead.

First it went all touchy and offhand and sarcastic:



As if!


And apparently no one understands it! (no change there then).

And it never asked to be created.

It refused to get up this morning, I mean what sort of time is this for a post?

It has lost all interest in sport (Steven Gerrard and mountain biking) and instead wants to hang around shops and listen to Capital FM. It likes pop music by people with confusing names like Tinchy Strider and Tiny Temper and it laughs at me when I get the names all wrong - Lady GooGoo, Jason dePencil, no, deRulo. Jason sings a song entitled "Ridin' Solo" where he seems to say he is getting his "sheep" together - the blog got cross when I asked whether Mr DeRulo was involved in animal husbandry.

The blog was so moody and down that today I had to take it up to TopShop at Oxford Circus so it could hang out with all the other teenagers. It insisted on taking its faux leopard bag which really is not sensible as it does not have a nice secure zip and cannot be sponged down easily.

Once at TopShop the blog behaved really quite badly. It immediately got told off for trying to take a pic of a faux leopard fur coat on its phone. And sulked.

We then had a tremendous tussle over some new slippers for wearing in the house. I said some nice quilted velour ones would be good. It insisted on these. What, I asked, are all those metal studs for? And white is really going to show up any food stains. The blog threatened to burst into tears and in the end I gave in.

I then said I would buy the blog a nice flattering pair of slacks for best. It sulked until I allowed it to take some other "trendier" kit to try on too.

Things got tense again when I remarked the effect of this blouse was lampshade-like and did the blog really want to spend all day standing around in the living room next to the sofa?

And the voluminous sleeves were voluminous. Good for hiding cupcakes or white rabbits.

Against my advice, leopard harem pants were tried on. I laughed and said a nice skirt would be more flattering. The blog grumped and said I just did not "get" fashion.

Then this hoodie. "You are not going out looking like that!" and "What exactly is the point of that garment, it is not going to be very warm or keep the rain off and what about washing it?" were some of the insights I shared. The blog got really huffy.

I managed to lure the blog out of TopShop with the promise of a megaFrappucino and crisps and cupcakes (covers all teen food groups) at Fatbucks. We then sloped along to Selfridges and caught sight of this window display.

The blog convinced me it needed new, "cooler" wellies, despite the fact it already has a nice children's pair in pale pink with dark pink hearts on. It said everyone wears Hunters these days.

So off to the new Selfridges Shoe Galleries, very posh and full of all sorts of brands, including the usual suspects: Jimmy Choo, Louboutin.

I bought the wellies but managed to persuade the blog to go for a sensible colour, not bright pink.

The blog also fell in love with these Repettos but I held firm. Maybe for the blog's birthday.

I did manage a bit of shopping for myself too. I was very taken with this navy blue/leopard print combo as seen in this pic from The Sartorialist.

So I went for this shirt, from Zara. No doubt the blog will borrow it without asking and spill Diet Coke all over it.

Must go now, the blog wants to be taken over to its friend's house to listen to music, play around with* make up and talk about* boys.

*Jeez, I hope I got these the right way round, otherwise me and the blog need to have a little chat ..


  1. Your blog is getting very uppity for a blog. If I were you I would kick its arse.

  2. Teach me how to be funny like you. I want to know.

  3. I love that last bit! Bloggy is very skinny, how does she do that?! Love the new slippies and wellies. Well done Blog!

  4. Stop it, stop it, Blighty, I can't take any more- sides are aching as usual from laughing at your posts!
    I think your blog is going to make it alright through its teenage years ( Clearasil usually helps); but I am a bit concerned about poor Faux Fuchsia- we'll all have to send her lots of Blog-love to see her through this difficult time.
    Just make sure you inpose a decent curfew hour on your blog and I think it'll be fine.

  5. Hello Blighty!

    I had a good laugh at today's post.

    Thank you.

    I will have a little blog crisis too in a show of unity of bloggers across continents.

    Those are great wellies by the way.

    SSG xxx

  6. Dear Mrs Blighty, Goodness you make me laugh! My girls are trying out their future teenage personalities too: "Speak to the bootie (pointing at their bottoms) because the hand's off duty". I have started using the word 'random' to indicate a lack of logical thinking although correct usage also requires a hair toss with full flounce which I have yet to master. I absolutely covet your blog's feopard bag. Good luck with your blog - in the words of a past Australian Prime Minister, maybe all it needs is a Bex and a good lie down....

  7. ha haha aha, ah, I can always rely on this blog to give me a laugh even when it is having a teenage moment. Love the shopping and fashion pics, those harem pants were great, but yes the top is probably a touch more practical!

  8. so, so funny. i think we should nominate faux for president. and the line...i didn't ask to be born. priceless.

    i would just love to be the person in the next changing room whilst all this is going on. do you talk out loud when you are in there?


  9. Blighty that's it! You need your own television show a la some sketch comedy thingy maybe you can be the noughties answer to Pamela Stephenson (Or should I say "Dr Stephenson Connolly I'm an expert on sex." Vomit!!
    Anyhoo I'm not sure if the blog has mastered the door slam and the eye roll or death stare. Trust me these are golden moments but fortunately short lived.
    Don't worry about FF you will fit in beautifully boots and all and she might even borrow the divine leopard print shirt!

  10. Your blog is certainly behaving all the symptoms of puberty and pmt.
    It may have actually been wiser for you to have given birth to a male blog, probably would have been easier to handle.

  11. Hey Blighty, great news, hot off the press.
    FF just posted, and now I'm happy as!

    Also, please check your blog's skin in case she is getting a few pimples in her pubescent meltdown.


  12. Blighty you make me laugh out loud! I too loved the lampshade top from topshop and rather fancied myself wafting around the house in it but then noticed slight frown on face of daughter number one and put it back! x

  13. Dearest blog - you do make me laugh and I love your choice re : the repettos - be very good and maybe you will be bought them for your birthday.. And Blighty how strange - held up that exact same blouse yesterday at Zara and ummed and ahhed over it.. really wanted it but I was in Hong Kong airport when I saw it, on the refuelling stopover, on flight from Uk... Could not work out the price (was in HK dollars) and was really, really tired and did not buy it! Now I am cross and wish I HAD. Damn. Especially seeing the Sartorialist "way to wear it". Good weekend to you. S-Expat. x

  14. Dear ladies, thanks for all the comments; this teenage stuff is very wearing; the blog's skin is flawless despite all the rubbish I feed it but I have just come out in spots, how unfair is that? Wrinkles plus spots, bonus!
    The new slippers with studs are huge success as v comfy plus excellent protection from tramply boy feet, Bxx

  15. Love the teenage blog crisis!!! Now Go To Your Room Young Lady. You are Grounded. And Just Wait Til Your Father Comes Home. xxxxxxxxxxx

  16. Dear Gorilla Bananas, I just wanted to say welcome, it's the first time my blog has been visited by an ape, very honoured indeed. are you related to that gorilla that featured in the Not the Nine O Clock News all those years ago? he was very cool xx

  17. B,
    Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, another essay due, last Friday! It's now Tuesday night, and I have finished the introduction.
    Professor Blighty, can you assist with EXCELLENT extension granting excuse?
    (oops in case any of my professors are reading this)
    Anonymous of Timbuctoo who has highjacked Louise's computer.

  18. Dear Louise, am worried and baffled by whole time difference thing, is it really Tues night there, surely still Monday or is it Tues wee small hours of morning?? Find the whole thing fascinating,I am thinking of getting those big clocks they have in reception areas of big law firms and banks showing different world times - but my clocks would be London, New York, Los Angeles, Hong Kong, Brisbane, Watford and Townsville. I think you can work time difference to your advantage, just explain to the powers that be that you are on UK time so actually only Mon, 11 Oct 1.40 pm 1957. That should buy you a bit of extra time

  19. Hi blog! how was the afternoon/luch/?? at your friend's house? I want to read more!

    can you believe it: the boggle-word finally come up with a word that makes sense in more than one way: haunt! what a word for this blog!

  20. PS by word boggle I mean the word you need to type as a secure-mode before commenting.

    PPS: and now it even said "count" as in "count how many PS Paula can write". what is wrong with the word-boggle-machine?!?

  21. Whew, ta.

    And guess what, it was Monday night when I asked, but now it's Tuesday morning 3:30am.
    YOU SEE WHAT ESSAYS DO TO ME? I lose whole days in my imagination!

    Fabulous excuse, off to bed now, it's bedtime somewhere. Oh, it's still bedtime here in Townsville.

  22. Hi again from Townsville on Tuesday afternoon.
    How distractive is this?
    I asked the tutor for an extension for the ESSAY, she said YES, then showed me how to waste time on Facebook.
    Seriously, the Universe is against me writing essays.

  23. Blighty- You really need to go back to Top Shop and sweep up those leopard harem pants (and perhaps exchange the Hunter Boots for the PINK ones!- what kind of teen-ager are you?!) That is, like, suuucchh RaHnDOM behaviour ...GAWD ( followed by extended roll of eyes)

    PS. This is how long it's been since I was a teenager- Top Shop has single divided dressing rooms??!!!

  24. love your blog! Also all love the leopard print going on here,

    Lucy x

  25. Dear Lucy, welcome, I am thrilled you took a look at my blog. Hey everyone, check out Lucy's blog, she is a very stylish girl indeed! xx

  26. Blighty, Your blog can come out of detention now, we miss her!

  27. Blighty,
    So, taaaa daaaa! The latest Essay evasion technique, is to chat with the other posters on FF's blog, actually Linda in Chile re: los mineros. It's remarkable the ways one can avoid what one really should be doing.

  28. I love the lampshade blouse!

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