Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free
cannot guarantee nut-free
Saturday, 19 June 2010
The Charge of the Light Brigade
I admit that a major reason for this post is the dreadful punny title. I am particularly pleased with the awfulness of this one!
But also I have to report that we seem to be having a Bedside Lamp Crisis here at Casa Blighty (I wanted to call our house Norfolk King Way, as that's what we should have said when the estate agent showed it to us, but Mr B won't let me).
I have always been lucky to have good eyesight, up until a couple of years ago when age caught up with me and I started holding things at arm's length to try to decipher writing on them - things like cooking instructions, telephone directories and small boys decorated with homemade tattoos (incidentally, I do feel "X is a poopoohead" lacks a certain finesse, particularly when written on the victim's forehead). I also started to complain about the light not being bright enough for reading in bed.
The result was the purchase of this. Apparently it's a design classic, which I think is shorthand for "been around for years and now we are charging a lot for it".
It does not look pretty but it does the trick and I have great fun fidgeting around with it to get the best angle.
Because I have got a smart new lamp, Mr B wants a lamp like that too (he was against the idea first but now he has seen the fun I am having with mine....).
A light went on in my head (no, stop now) and I had the brilliant idea of re-jigging our existing lamps and moving them to the guest room.
But in the lighting department I found myself in the midst of what can only be described as a terrible lampshade dilemma.
Two suitable shades; the one on the left costs £30, the one on the right £7.
£30 for a lampshade!! Has the world gone mad??? Or have I just turned into the sort of old biddy who walks around shops exclaiming "£2.50 for that! You must be joking!"?
Should I go for the cheap one, after all, a lampshade is a lampshade? But is the other one nicer and is it better quality? Or do I just want it because it's more expensive? Important questions. I stood there for ages, gawping at the shades, taking photos of them and generally mucking up the displays and getting in everyone's way.
No, I've decided, I'll get 2 of the cheap ones. There, job done!
OOOH, this is nice, maybe I should start all over again, ditch the old lamp bases and buy 2 of these instead??
I went round in circles, I really thought I was going to blow a fuse (Enough, for all our sakes!)
Finally, after hours of deliberations and because the security staff asked me to leave, I brilliantly (ha, I'm not stopping now, I'm feeling puntastic) solved my dilemma by buying 4 lampshades, 2 of each, to try at home.
That's it, perfect.
But then again, the complete lamp with base looked good, or maybe I should go with the blue and white ginger jar lamp ....or should I have bought a cream lampshade???
Enough, I am burnt out.
Ladies, care to shed some light on this matter?
[Post abruptly terminated due to arrest of blogger by the Committee for Restraint of Abusive Puns; blogger now also under investigation by the Commission for Restriction of Acronym Perversion; blogger now in deep ...trouble]
P.S. Guess who laughed at the safety notice (first picture above) and then promptly burnt her hand?