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Sunday, 20 June 2010

Repetitive Dress Syndrome

Report of proceedings in the Court of Appeal, R v Blighty

Polly Esther, QC for the appellant: "Your Lordships, I appear on behalf of Mrs Blighty who is appealing against her conviction in the High Court under the Sartorialist Act 2010 of dressing in a repetitive and obsessive manner and under the Road Traffic Act 2001 of knowingly or recklessly impersonating a zebra crossing in a built up area. Important new medical evidence has come to light showing that Mrs Blighty is suffering from RDS."

Bufton-Tufton LJ, interjecting - "Pray, what is RDS? Is it an opera?"

Polly Esther, QC: "No, my Lord, it is Repetitive Dress Syndrome, which is the uncontrollable and insatiable urge to buy the same item of dress over and over again. This has been diagnosed in Mrs Blighty by Professor Bill Amex, a copy of whose report has already been supplied to the court. I would also like to introduce in evidence Exhibits A - F.

Exhibit A - dress from TK Maxx, the appellant admits she bought it as it was cheap.

Exhibit B, dress from Wallis, appellant states she thought it would be so easy to wear and would not require ironing

Exhibit C - dress from Whistles, appellant maintains it was greatly reduced, therefore too good a buy to miss

Exhibit D - appellant just fancied it

Exhibit E - an early sign of RDS, from H and M

Exhibit F - the chronic nature of the appellant's RDS can be seen by the fact that it has reached her feet.

Wetherby-Fetherby LJ: "Thank you Miss Esther for an very informative morning. We will now adjourn to consider this new evidence and to have lunch at my club. Do you have anything else to add?"

Polly Esther QC: " I would like to point out that the appellant has been making strenuous efforts to overcome RDS and is making considerable progress, as you can see from the photograph below".


  1. Oh you are too funny. Polly Esther- I think I may be a client of hers as well. Does Mr B notice the similarity of said exhibits?

  2. Love those dresses Blighty.
    Exhibit B and D are my 2 favourites...good luck at the "sentencing"

  3. oh blighty you kill me.

    this is so funny and i think i'm guilty of the same with white shirts.

    i bet you were a riot in the courtroom.


  4. Ooh looks like a severe case. I think you need to wean yourself off the black and white animal print dress addiction - how about a lovely floral print substitute?

  5. You are too funny!!! I loved this and I am with you on all these purchases. They are wonderful and I could easily rationalise each and every one... Blighty has great fashion sense!!

    Thanks for your comment today...very thoughtful:)


  6. Intervention time! Emergency floral infusion! Plaid tonics!

  7. This post is so very funny and insightful Blighty!
    I dare say if you peered into thousands of wardrobes you would find other cases of polyester crimes against fashion with an emphasis on a particular shade/pattern.
    Can Polly Esther QC use the raging hormone excuse?

  8. Blighty - I just had to comment from chilly Melbourne to say how much I LOVE your blog. It causes me to snigger every day at work (much to the amusement of my Coal Face colleagues) and I just wanted to say I totally think you should write a book!


  9. When you're onto a good thing....stick to it. I love all of these esp Ex D....I do the same thing.....unfortunately it's with all black so not even as exciting as leopard print....though last year I did have a new years resolution ( which I stuck to)...the theme of which (with mentoring and encouragement of FF) was "Embrace Colour".

  10. I LOVE these frocks and shoes- I'd wear the lot! They all look like my favourie cut- the dress known in the trade as the tent frock! Hides a multitude of sins and shows off a slimmer leg. What's not to love?

    My sister only wears black and white. Do you?

    Best wishes to your bush baby possum thing. Oh, and to Mr B.

  11. All a matter of perspective, my dear. You say too many, I say not enough. I own in excess of 75 black dresses and it's not nearly close to being enough... And you can never have enough animal print anyway...

  12. Just found your blog after reading your fabulous comments (rants) on FF.
    Must say I love your commitment to zebra.

  13. Blighty - I see no crime.

    Agree with Miss Kitty-cat regarding large collection of black dresses not ever being enough.

    SSG xxx

  14. Dear ladies thanks for your helpful comments.I do have other dresses, I have too much, I believe in quantity not quality (but only in clothes and chocolate, not in men for example). Miss Kitty, love that you have more than 75 black dresses, but black is cool and a classic, whereas I worry that my surfeit of black and white means I want to be a penguin.

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