Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Iron Willpower

Mrs B styling her hair, languidly

As a domestic goddess and top housewife, I always action household tasks without delay.

Sorry, just climbed back on my chair, I think I may have pulled a muscle laughing.

So imagine my dismay at this unhappy scene.

(The giveaway as to how long this lot has been lingering is the summery clothes; it’s been at least 2 weeks now since summer ended here in Blightyland).

It was IMPERATIVE that I dealt with this immediately.

Which is why I went straight to the kitchen to make cupcakes. We have no obvious need for cupcakes but I genuinely felt we could not go on without any. To extend the cupcake process further, I debuted an icing bag thingie I had bought from the Lakeland catalogue about 3 years ago (when I was in the full throes of a nasty case of catalogitis freeshippingtons with a side order of kitchen gadget fever). Actually I have used the kit just once before, I had the brilliant idea of using it to pump Bolognese sauce into cannelloni; the results were spectacular, but not in a good way.

I need a lot more practice with the icing bag, more shot out the top than the bottom. I also overdid the food colouring – I am hoping the boys will come down off the ceiling soon.

To my total surprise I then found myself not at the ironing board but in the nearby town, pootling round the shops. How did that happen? I was astounded. Possible explanations:

• I was abducted against my will by aliens, who, later realising I was no good to experiment on, instead dropped me off at the Weeping Willows Shoppe Centre;
• I was just on my way to fill the iron up with water when I fell into a trance-like state and drove to the shops;
• Faced with the prospect of ironing I realised that life as we know it would end unless I got Boy 1 a Reader Windball ™and, for myself, some Seche Vite topcoat for my nails.*
*Both highly specialised items of equipment, both smell strange but only one used by cricketers; actually I wouldn’t be too sure about that.

Mr B will of course be told that the first or possibly the second are the only credible explanations but I am prepared to admit here entre nous that it was the last. Mrs Trefusis, whose blog I enjoy, referred a while ago to the term “Bunburying” which comes from Oscar Wilde’s “The Importance of Being Earnest”. Algernon, one of the characters in the play, has invented an sick friend called Bunbury whom he always needs to visit, when he wants to get himself out of onerous social commitments. The need to visit the shops when faced with unappealing domestic tasks would seem to be my version of Bunburying.

Fortunately for Western civilisation I was able to purchase the cricket ball. I then proceeded to Sallys, a jolly chain of shops which sells beauty supplies to trade and consumers. I had a most enjoyable time there: They had OPI polish. They had Seche Vite. They even had Pervo Gloves.

OPI on sale!! But did not buy. Why??

Moroccan oil


  1. Love the OPI! Love the Tunics! Love the icing!

    A good day all round.

    Frankly you are a Domestic Goddess x

  2. Frankly I think ironing is highly overrated....I wonder how many staffers at OPI think up those catchy names...

  3. I've just had a genius idea - could you cut the top of a finger off a Pervo Glove and use it to ice the cupcakes? Maybe that's where the old one went?

    PS I like the grey smock.

  4. Wonderful alien abducted shopping. I just saw that Shrek OPI polish here yesterday in my daughter's shop. Naughty Mr. B! What were they thinking when they came up with that idea? Your cupcakes look divine. I haven't seen that oil recommended by FF but I would like to give it a whirl.

  5. The verb 'pootle' is quite definitely under-utilised in the blogsphere.

    It immediately reminded me of some of my favourite words:
    footle - play the fool;
    poodlefaker - a youth too much given to tea parties and ladies' society generally (I have born a poodlefaker); and
    snood - a loose net for a woman's hair.

    Your use of pootle made me laugh until my snaggletooth ached.

    Toodle pip!

  6. I so miss zara. Is v annoying that we don't have here in oz.. WHY??? I have been off line last few days. The Mini Mice were taken away by their grandparents for 5 Whole Days.... Was to allow mr m and I to declutter and pack for The Big Move.... I really took FF's advice to heart and disposed of at least one third of household contents... Feel liberated ( although that may also be after effect of temporary disposal of children.... 5 Whole Days!!!!!
    Was the pic or post morroccan hair oil???

  7. Hope some OPI jumps into my hands and aliens plant a couple of tunics on me when I'm next actioning domestic tasks. Tis what I'll tell Mr Polly anyway! Thanks Blighty!

  8. What delicious cupcakes!

    Your time was spent wisely I think - not a big ironing fan either.

    SSG xxx

  9. Love this post Blighty, very meaty.

    I will run a mile from ironing unless I can watch tv or a DVD.

    Icing kit thingys were invented by the devil.

    So glad you purchased an OPI on sale, we pay $20 in Aus, truly outragious I say. The take-out box is great for travelling.

    The smocky tops are divine. It is not at all fair that we have no Zara stores here, or Topshop, HM, Forever 21. Why I cannot fathom.

    Argan oil is fabulous, your locks will thank you. If I ever get famous (HA)and am asked what I can't live without it will be this stuff. We should be buying shares.


  10. Hi Blighty,
    Those cupcakes look gorgeous, very well done, you are more domestic goddess than you let on. How lucky were you to go to the shops on the very day OPI was on sale. Love the moroccan oil I use it too, now I can't live without it but unfortunately it doesn't help me out around the house or do the bookwork either.

  11. hi blighty,

    every time i see or hear the word cupcake i must have one within 24 hours. thanks a lot.

    love the tunics and polish.


  12. OMG I can't even remember doing laundry for children. A black fog. Tunics, however, I can remember and even action:).

  13. Love it Blighty! You were right to leave the ironing... really, what is the point? In a couple of days & after a few loads of washing it will all just be there again... mocking you, daring you to finish it, scornful & contemptuous ... mine is sneering at me as we speak. Shopping for cricket balls, tunics & nail polish is a far more satisfying & economical use of your time. Also loving your patty cakes (as we call them over here).

  14. Hi there ladies!
    FF - just call me Nigella!
    Hostess - maybe I could get a job with OPI doing the names? I like "What the Shrek" as a name
    Not My Age - brilliant idea, think of the fun I could have chasing Mr B around with that!
    Deb - your daughter has a shop that sells OPI!!! how fab!! does she give you free samples??
    MidCentury - Tallyho and tiddly pom! like poodle faker a lot
    Kylie - what are Zara playing at? they are missing huge sales to all you mega glam Aussieland gals; good luck with the Big Move, are you moving far? probably best to take the Mini Mice with you, i know it's tempting to leave then behind but we tried leaving ours in our old flat and the new owners got really stroppy; Hope the grandparents are ok, did they get through a lot of sherry in those 5 days?
    Polly, those aliens are coming to a shopping centre near you soon;
    SSG - cupcakes v sickly and gudgy so big hit with the boys
    Anne-Marie - you are v clever to do ironing watching telly, i just cannot multi-task in this way (am I almost a man??) and just end up ironing all the buttons off things or leaving the iron scorching what I am ironing as I gawp at the TV; i do listen to old fogeys radio though, v soothing; glad to hear Argan oil is the business, it smells nice too. Wow, OPI is expensive in Aus!
    Blissful - after a good start my Moroccan oil has really slacked off, it keeps complaining about everything and sits in the kitchen for ages drinking coffee and telling me about its varicose veins, typical.
    Dear Janet - cupcake, cupcake, cupcake!
    LPC - it's actually all your fault, I saw your divine white lacy top on your blog and realised that was what I needed in my life; unfortunately the local shopping centre was a bit lacking in the divine white top department so ended up with the beigie Zara smock thing, which may or may not go back, I did not try it properly due to the muddle I got into with it in changing rooms, I am not joking, I had the strap of the petticoat round my neck...
    Melissa - you are so right, ironing does mock you, mine has a really bad attitude problem

  15. Shrek polish! Oh the marketing. I would never wear Shrek-green nailpolish.

  16. This is one of my favourite postings. This aspect of human nature need to be researched. And maybe aliens are involved.


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