Dahlings, there are two members of Blighty Limited who are giving me cause for concern.
First, Boy 2.
I was prepared to overlook this (and blame it on all those wildlife programmes he watches).
Mummy: Can you stop playing now and get out of the bath?
Boy 2: OK, Mummy, the killer whale just has to finish off the seal..
I decided this was just a sign of his keen interest in History and not a warning of Hannibal Lecter tendencies.
Excerpt from Boy 2's school report - proof that teachers do have a sense of humour or evidence of something more sinister?
Boy 1 was being particularly noisy and annoying the other evening when Boy 2 was doing his spelling homework. I do vaguely recall Boy 2 saying something along the lines of "Mummy can't we tape his mouth over?" It was only later I noticed he had got the electrician's tape from the toolbox in the garage...
So the youngest in the Blighty family is a worry. But so is the more senior end.
I thought Grandmas were supposed to sit serenely doing sewing and smelling of Parma violets and face powder, and for excitement might listen to The Archers.
Not so Grandma Whacker. During her recent stay she was engrossed in these rugged detective novels set in Edinburgh, which she has recently discovered at her local library*.
The dialogue is, to put it mildly, quite robust. You know you are in trouble when Grandma is reading lines like this, spoken by our hero after he has visited a very rough council estate :
WARNING, THIS IS VERY CRUDE, NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED
"Later, eh. I've just escaped Deliverance territory and I'm mightily relieved not to have a length of hillbilly parked in my farter..."
Should I contact the library and ask them not to let her have any more books by this author?
Must go. Have to hide the electrician's tape again.
Truth Lies Bleeding; and
Long Time Dead, all by Tony Black.
I have now read Gutted and must say it's excellent, and a refreshing contrast to the whimsical Corduroy Mansions of Alexander McCall Smith