All lips and teeth

Recently at Blighty HQ we've been all about lips and teeth. Above is an action shot of a MAC lipstick called Vegas Volt.

But first, in case the glamour gets too much,  let me tell you all about our trip to the dentist.

Caring mother that I am, I was determined that Boys 1 and 2 should not enjoy themselves during their half term hols. No, instead I hauled them off to the dentist.

Boy 2 in particular objected, but I reassured him, first by explaining it was only a check up and secondly, by showing him that bit from Little Shop of Horrors featuring Steve Martin as the sadistic dentist and Bill Murray as his patient (the latter probably not such a great idea..)

Boy 2 remained uneasy.  

Disaster struck - this X Ray revealed a rotten baby tooth, already filled.  Boy 2 ended up having what us laymen call an extraction and to what dentists technically refer as "yanking the blighter out."

Post-extraction Boy 2 was very weak and pale and whispered he wanted to go straight home, using his special brave little soldier voice.  Boy 1 chipped in that he was all for going to Cafe Rouge for a steak and chips.  I told Boy 1 to be quiet.

However, on the Underground Boy 2 suddenly underwent a miraculous recovery and whispered, still in brave soldier voice, that he wanted to go to the Games Workshop (purveyor of all things Warhammer) in Kensington.  I am now ready to write a learned paper for the British Journal of Dentistry that post extraction recovery is speeded up 100% by the liberal application of credit card to the GamesWorkshop - exact dosage needs to be tested further, but £80 worth of Warhammer did the trick in this case. ( I was bamboozled by BoyMaths which showed an £80 starter pack of Tyrranids was much better value than just spending £18 on a smaller set... this is probs the male equivalent of girlynomics where you save money by buying things because they are on sale..)

But in Kensington I did discover what I  now call the Courtyard of Hope.

The photo below of Lancers Square (off Ken Church Street) is not very clear but the orange figure is Boy 1 hunched over the Games Workshop window; nearby is Starbucks, and then just to the left is a standalone MAC store.  Yay! Suddenly I am all for trips to the Games Workshop.  I have timed it - you can leave Boys 1 and 2 in the Games Workshop ogling the stock, hotfoot the couple of metres across to MAC, try a few lipsticks, have a quick chat about highlighting powders, buy a lipstick, wiggle into Starbucks for an uplifting beverage and be back in the Games Workshop in less than 6 minutes. RESULT!  And may I say what a joy the MAC shop is, quiet and with great customer service, a wonderful contrast to the rugby scrum plus smeared lippie testers (I mean the actual lipsticks but actually you could say the same about the customers trying out the wares) which is the MAC counter at Selfridges.

Since then I seem to be having a lipstick moment.  The pic below shows Mac Impassioned, hot pink, (thanks Warhammer); Yves Saint Laurent Rouge Volupte #114 (pink) (thank you lovely B for my House of Fraser giftcard)  and Illamasqua lip pencil in Titivate (in, oh, pink).  I love bright, vibrant colour as I find it does lift one's ageing, tired face and also distracts attention from the large spot on one's cheek...

I have also become slightly obsessed with a new make up blog I have found called Lipstick Rules. (which coincidentally featured my new MAC Impassioned lipstick the other day AFTER I had bought it, how's that for the planets aligning?) Lipstick Rules is written by a lady in Toronto who really knows her make up.  And her blog contains not so much as a hint of Warhammer. Or dentists.  Bliss.

Final thought: despite the title of this post, lips and teeth do not mix. Note to self: check gnashers before leaving house.

Barcelona offers hope for Moana, and some Important Advice

I underwent a bit of a style transformation while in Barcelona, I really wanted to catch that contemporary Spanish vibe

Dahlings, still quite not up to speed, what with the unpacking of suitcases and putting Boys 1 and 2 in the washing machine...

In the meantime, I have encouraging news for Moana.

Whaddya mean, who is Moana?  Come on people, stay with it! Moana is the latest alter ego of Louise of InTownsville, my blogosphere soulmate and partner in crime  really dodgy jokes.http://fromnorthqld.wordpress.com/

  I met Louise in Real Life a few months ago - you can read about the meeting of the Superpowers here.http://blightyworld.blogspot.com/2011/01/when-blighty-met-lousie.html

Thanks to the evil cyclone Yasi, Louise broke her back.  Since then, due to terrible pain, Lou sometimes transforms into Moana, very understandably. 

Lou and I have been joking about getting her a new back somehow....

So,  look what I found in a small restaurant/bar in Barcelona on our first day:

Item 3:  Back with Egg and Chips. 

Lou,  the Back is on its way to you, but I am afraid Boy 1 ate the egg and chips.

(I would like to apologise to Janet of Gardener's Cottage and any other vegetarians/vegans for the extremely carnivorous nature of this menu; I think perhaps the translation is a bit over-enthusiastic.... )

Now, you know how I like to perform a public service role in this blog (I guess I am just sooo pro-active and caring).  Well, I am able to pass on some Important Advice we received on arrival from our receptionist at Juan Towel Hotel.  The receptionist handed us a piece of paper warning us about the danger of pickpockets in Barcelona - the paper listed various scenarios such as:

• if someone tell you in street that you have stain on your clothes do not stop, they will steal   from you
• if someone tell you something is wrong with your car do not stop, they will steal from you
• if someone is playing a game of dice do not play, they will steal from you
• if someone approaches you in the street, run away screaming, it will be Boys 1 and  2 whining for more ice creams
• if you want to be robbed in broad daylight go to the Barcelona football team stadium Camp Nou and hand over your credit card plus remaining Euros in  the gift shop

Gift shop at Camp Nou, background noise is Mrs B weeping into her wallet

Camp Nou stadium

In Barcelona they speak Catalan which to me seems like a mix of French and Spanish...this is the Barcelona club motto: More Than A Club (damn right it is, it's also a brilliant vehicle for the sale of nylon T shirts at extortionate prices...the concentration of man made fibres in that gift shop surely contravenes Elf and Safety rules on fire hazards)

Having rendered us pleasantly neurotic, the receptionist then came out with her coup de grace:

"Is no good putting rucksack in your backside!"  Those fiendish pickpockets will stop at nothing ...

So there you have it, the most useful piece of advice I can pass on to other travellers.

 DON'T PUT YOUR RUCKSACK IN YOUR BACKSIDE

It will only make your eyes water anyway.

You can thank me later.

Mothers' Day Out

Last week me and some Mummy friends went up to London on the train to do lunch and a spot of shopping. We launched ourselves on an unsuspecting Marylebone High Street. Here are some snaps, taken in the brief moments when I was stopping to draw breath in between my chatting!

We went past the very attractive window of Designer's Guild.



Then we had a good browse and restorative tea in a foodie emporium called Natural Kitchen.

Some of this Pukka tea was purchased; I am a big fan of Tick Tock Rooibos tea

Next we checked out Agnes B.  Very French, very stylish but heart-stoppingly expensive for What It Is.

Agnes B laidback cool

I liked this Agnes B toile de Jouy dress

With this dress you get scarves attached - but too frightening to think of dishwasher related accident

Below, Daunt Books is one of the nicest bookshops in London - originally specialising in travel books but now does all sorts, worth going inside just for the building.

I insisted we went into Malene Birger, so I could pay hommage to one of Faux Fuchsia's favourite shoppes.  I last went here with Faux herself when I met up with her last year.

One of the Mummies - my friend K, isn't she cute?  And sooo tiny! A real doll! Can you believe she has 2 boys same ages as mine and a little girl too!

The decor in Malene was very fancy but it just wasn't the same without the supreme glamour of the Faux Fuchsia.



Malene seems to have gone all hippy-boho for summer, lots of maxi dresses, no good for shortie me.

I liked this, not least because it was 70% off but I saw nothing as nice as the dress Faux bought.

Next we went to Matches. Nice but full of super expensive designer kit.

Dummy with hand out is saying, "No, Mrs Blighty, do not come in here, you are not a high net worth individual and you shop at Tesco"

Chloe bag, did not bother looking at  price as shouting out "Good God, what a price!" not cool

Pretty cups at Matches - we did not get offered any beverages, you probably have to spend lots of money whereas I kept cracking jokes about how I would need a lottery win first...strangely the sales assistants did not find this funny...

Marc Jacobs dress at Matches, about £3 trillion

After Matches we staggered into Cologne and Cotton, a nice homeware, bed linen shop. 

And finally we perused Whistles where I liked this dress, not least because Grandma Whacker often accuses me of Doing Too Much and, an even more serious accusation, Galloping Around.

The time honoured response to a charge of Galloping Around is to neigh, shout "Clip Clop" and demand a nosebag for all meals

Grandma W has been following Louise of InTownsville's blog and is very concerned about Louise's poor broken back.  Recently G pronounced that Louise was Doing Too Much and Galloping Around.  So Louise - behave, otherwise I will send you this dress!!

And then we went home and the other Mummies reminded me that I needed to collect Boys 1 and  2 from school.  It's really important I go on trips with responsible adults.

Day Out with the Big G

So the Boys finally went back to school after their epic holidays. The headmaster was a bit surprised when I dropped them off at 4am on the first morning but I wasn't taking any chances.

The house was horribly quiet. Spooky. Grandma (my mother, aka the Big G) and I decided to have a jaunt up to London, as we had cabin fever and needed a bit of Culcha (note to self: not a small town in southern Spain).

We chose the Courtauld Gallery at Somerset House, as the Big G had never been there before. We bravely took buses from the train station to get there. All went to plan except for sailing past the gallery and being carried off across Waterloo Bridge, the other side of the Thames. I had visions of us ending up in Peckham. (By the way, a well informed friend tells me that young Londoners now speak Jafaican, not Cockney; Grandma and I tried to get in the swing ("well sick innit") but really couldn't pull it off).

After our busnapping ordeal, we repaired to the gallery cafe for an restorative hot chocolate. For me the most important part of a museum is its cafe. You can only take Culcha so far.

I liked the teapots on display.



The Big G then forced me to stop admiring the teapots and go up to look at the pictures. I immediately lost focus and stared out the window at the ice rink. They have an ice rink every year around Christmas time.

In the gallery there was a lot of top stuff. Grandma and I agreed that Renoir is too chocolate boxy.

I have always liked this one.

This is one of Cezanne's Mont St Victoire pics. He always seemed to be painting that hill. I could see Mont SV from the window of my room when I was studying in Aix en Provence. But mainly I could see the caretaker's teenage daughter climbing over the fence to sneak off with her friends.

Here is a Blighty Elf and Safety Announcement: this is not the way to hold a baby. I don't care if it is the Baby Jesus, he could so easily roll off onto the floor. A huge bump on his head will stop his halo fitting properly.

On the way out I spotted this Tiffany pop up shop type thing. Grandma firmly steered me past it, lest I was tempted.

This reminds me of other important news. Mr B, who has been working like a dawg at his office drafting an important new law on supertax on confectionery for the under 5s has now managed to Get It Out and has reemerged from his office. I explained to the boys that the familiar looking chap wasn't the plumber, it was their father. They took it quite well.

Mr B, feeling guilty at his absence, suggested he make it up to me by taking me somewhere nice, somewhere I would really like, but warned me not to get too excited, it would not be the Rolex shop. Well, I thought, if not Rolex, maybe a little Hermes scarf or at least a little toddle round Selfridges? "Oooh Blighty", I sighed, "please tell! "

This was his answer - I am NOT making this up:

"Borehamwood Vehicle Licensing Office."

Who said romance was dead?

Holidaze

The last two weeks that the boys have been off school have flown by, full of activity which I can't quite remember! So I will leave it to Boys 1 and 2 to give you a little presentation entitled, well I'll let Boy 1 take it from here..

Boy 1: Our talk today is called "Wot We Did in Our Holidaze, Get Off you Baboon, Mummy said i could put the pics on the 'puter not you"

Boy 2 (lying on floor): noooooo, wanna do pics, don't wanna do presentation, don't wanna, waaaaaahhhhh! I hate it, hate it , no, no, no! Ok, I'll do it. Welcome ladies, to our interesting and informative presentation on our half term programme of activities, we trust you will find it engaging and light hearted, yet with substance and..

Mummy: That's enough, don't overdo it.

Boy 1: The hols were cool as Auntie Lovely B came to stay and we went up to London on the train and bus to meet her. The bus was cool.

Boy 2: yes the omnibus is an extremely convenient and cost effective method of circumnavigating London...

Boy 1: Muuuum, he's talking stoopid again!

(Short break in presentation while artistic differences are resolved, packet of frozen peas applied to bruised head of Boy 1, and Boy 2 spends time in his room)

Isn't that man our Headmaster? No, it's Big Ben, you iddyot!

Boy 1: After the bus Mummy made us go to the Cabinet War Rooms and Winston Churkill Museem which was educaseshunal so was boring. But the cafe was ok.

Boy 2: I assisted Mummy in preparing the guestroom for Auntie Lovely B. When Mummy was apprised of my efforts in this regard she was so pleased and moved she shouted a bit and then burst into tears of gratitude..

Boy 1: Auntie Lovely B settled in.She and Mummy did lots of chatting and some drinking of wine and Mummy was all nice and on bestest behaviour and did not shout even when we played football in the kitchen. After a couple of days Mummy decided it would be Death by Museem. Again. But this museem was quite good as it had lots of ded stuffed animals in it, including huge snaks and tiny fleas. But the cafe was not so good.

Pics of animals at Natural History Museum at Tring, Hertfordshire (Walter Rothschild had an enormous collection of stuffed animals which he donated to the nation; we do feel the animal kingdom must have breathed a collective sigh of relief when old Wally popped his clogs..)


Boy 2: Then Grandma Whacker came to stay too, so she could enjoy the delightful company of her beloved grandsons and the charming Auntie Lovely B. Daddy announced that unfortunately he would be working late.

Boy 1: Mummy put those girlie flowery thingies in Grandma's room and I added an artistic finishing touch, much better.

Boy 1: A few days later Mummy carried on her Death by Museem evil plan and she made Grandma and Auntie Lovely B go too. This time it was a Roman Museem in St Albans, very boring with lots of coins. Even Mummy was bord but she would not let on. But we went for pizza after which was very good.

Boy 2: Then sadly it was time for Auntie Lovely B to return home. We accompanied her up to London and then Mummy declared that it was time for another museum. It is clear that Mummy is evil and also quite mad. It was the Foundling Museum in Bloomsbury.

Pic below, this was the site of the original Foundling Hospital started by a retired sea captain called Sir Thomas Coram; now it is called Coram Fields and is a playground. We met our friends here and had a good play!

Boy 2:Mummy got cross at the museum as she paid and then they would not take us. Mummy shouted that this was not good enough, she thought children could be left there. The museum lady explained that was the old days, they do not take in babies anymore and look after them till they are grown up; Mummy said that was a big disappointment, she had been brought there under false pretences..

Boy 1: Pic above, this made Mummy go all teary, I think she was still upset that she could not leave us in this Foundling place. Anyway, the cafe was quite good.

Boy 1: And then the next day lots of workmen arrived at our house all at the same time with lots of vans all blokking each other in and Mummy said oh no and made 28 cups of tea and 22 cups of coffee...and then Grandma decided to go home and all the vans had to be moved so she could get the Granniemobile out and we sang our lovely song to her to say goodbye:

" Driving long the motorway at a 104

Grannie did a - BOYS STOP! - and blew off the door

The wheels couldn't take it and the car fell apart

All because Grannie did a supersonic.."

And then Mummy shouted "Stop that song right now!" and told us to say goodbye to Grandma nicely and we shouted and waved "Goodbye Grandma Nicely " non-stop till Grandma drove off and Mummy said "Give me strength" and went to make another 35 cups of tea.

Boy 2: It was terribly noisy with all the workmen banging and drilling, but we applied our ear protectors and continued with our computer related amusements

Boy 1: At the weekend we did a bike ride, here is us looking cool like that film TopGun which is Daddy's favourite film ever ...

Left to right, Maverick, Iceman and another guy, but certainly not Goose, that bit always makes Daddy cry, wot a girlie..

Boy 2: The bike ride was near Pinewood Studios where they do filming for films. We came across this sign. Mummy said there should be a sign warning the public about boys of all ages riding bikes thinking they are hotshot fighter pilots training at Miramar...Neaaaaaaah! (fighter pilot noises).

Boys 1 and 2: So that was our hols. How long till Christmas hols Mummy? Mummy? Why you lying on floor??