Monty Dog goes on minibreak and so does Boy 2

Last week Monty Dog went on a Luxury Minibreak in the heart of the Chilterns, near Tring.  We are going on hols in the summer and Monty can't come with, so he is going to stay at this very upmarket dog hotel.  Last week was his try out. Look at how lovely the room is where the dogs sleep and relax. I am not joking, there are day care nurseries for kids which are not as nicely appointed; I should know, I put Boys 1 and 2 in them when they were evil toddlers...

 Each dog gets his own individual bay to sleep in, there is a hose down area to freshen up after muddy walks and even CCTV to check on them at night.

 The countryside is lovely, this is the view from the garden.

The lady is just starting up her dog boarding business.  She is lovely, has her own dog Harvey and is an expert in dog training and behaviour.

Here are the details in case anyone is interested. 

I was relieved that the try out went ok and Monty did not do this to the dog hotel sofa..

I had to laugh as I drove Monty home, only a mile or so from his luxury dog hotel we passed the gates of this place.  I do in fact wonder whether I didn't get a bit muddled and left him at Champneys by mistake...

 Meanwhile the intrepid Boy 2 was on his own minibreak, a 4 day sailing trip with Daphnes4Boyz at Weymouth and Swanage, in Dorset.

They had lovely weather.

 

 

 I am very excited to get him back later today, though I expect he will be very tired, very grumpy and possibly a bit smelly...

He may have grown a beard , started smoking a pipe and become a hardened sea dog. 

In other news, I have invested in a new pair of willies* wellies.  Remember my Hunters I bought from Selfridges BD (Before Dog)?

  Every dog walker you meet will tell you Hunters are Not What They Used to Be (dark mutterings about being Made in China and being a mere fashion accessory..) Apparently Aigle Parcours are now Where It is At. 

For me the clincher is the pic of the exhausted dog next to the Aigle clad owner...

Right I am off to collect the fragrant Boy 2.  Boy 1, who has been living the dream (Single Child) is not going to be happy, he hoped I'd forget...also I have to tell Boy 1 that Monty dog has chewed yet another set of X Box headphones....have a nice weekend everyone, mine could be a bit lively!







*Dammit Blogger, stop auto correcting! You will get us both in trouble.

Mrs Blighty's Cold Front

Photo from Illamasqua website

Hello Dahlings! Hope you are all well. I will explain the above picture later. I just couldn't face starting the post with a photo of, say, socks.

Right, now here's a photo of socks.

You see, it's got very cold here. Not snowy cold. Not frosty in the mornings cold. But a cruel, biting wind. As I said to Mr Blighty just this morning, "Ooh, that's a cruel, biting wind."

And part of my maternal duties involves watching Boys 1 and 2 and other assorted sizes of boys play in football matches. Last term rugby, this term football. Whatever next? I was just getting used to the rugby too. For example, when during rugby matches over-excited fathers yelled "Ruck Over", I learnt not to shout back "Ruck off". Don't worry, I have no idea what "Ruck over" means either.

I have discovered that the cold and damp seems to seep up through my Hunter wellies as I stand dreaming of the post-match cuppa. A friend told me you can get liners for your Hunters and as I love spending money on accessorising my rubber wear (that sounds wrong) I was there.

I also got some welly liners for the Boys, as during the pre-Christmas snow we went on a trek through the woods with friends. On the way home Boy 1 claimed he had frostbite and it looked like our expedition was going all Scott of the Antarctic. I attempted a mother-to-boy sock transplant in the middle of a snowy field in the almost dark (one of my worst ideas since offering to help with the fraction simplification Maths homework). At this point my friend's husband masterfully flung the whimpering Boy 1 over his shoulder and strode off with him. It was just like the ending of "An Officer and A Gentleman" except without the sailor uniform...where was I? Just wandered off for a moment...

Below, some handy dandy heat warming pads I also bought. Note to self: do not confuse with Instant Noodles, probably highly toxic.

Mindful always of my role as fashion icon to the masses, I opted for these leopard numbers. Jaunty or what?

In these grey wintry days I find myself attracted to bright red lipstick. In Selfridges the other day I went to check out the MAC counter as I heard that MAC lipsticks like Ruby Woo and Russian Red were the thing. Sadly the MAC counter was swarming and too hectic for me, thought I did have a nice chat with a lady who was trying to get a lipstick to match her red Hermes bag. The terrible challenges some people have to face.

So I took refuge at the Illamasqua counter. Illamasqua is probably the only English cosmetics company out there. The sales assistant chap was charming and called me darling, and advised me to get this colour. He also Strongly Recommended I get the Matching Lipliner. So I did. You do not argue with top make up experts who call you darling.

Apparently the key is pigment: Illamasqua products are highly pigmented so in the case of this lipstick you do not need much to get the true depth of colour and the colour lasts longer on your lips. Having carried out extensive testing in the Blighty beauty room (downstairs loo) under highly controlled conditions (minus 3 mins to get boys to school; boys in bout of unarmed combat right outside the door) I can confirm this is top stuff.

Lipstick, colour:Box, and Medium Lipliner, both from Illamasqua

Now, further winter warming equipment: chocolate puddings. Full of essential nutrients...

And discounted Panettone (actually a Pandoro, the plain one without fruit in) from the local Italian deli, who were selling them off after Christmas (Mrs B, savvy shopper).

And vitamin drink. Which I hope will increase my energy levels, as my current tendency is towards hibernation.

Boy 2 was dressed up like this first thing this morning. No idea why. Maybe dressing as a Viking is his way of keeping warm. I expect all that pillaging and other stuff they got up to, kept them nice and warm.

Below, not another chocolate pudding.

This is a hat: Step One in pulling together a Tudor costume for Boy 1. The amount of dressing up that school goes in for, I expect Boys 1 and 2 to be nothing less than Dita Van Teese type burlesque artists when they grow up. Actually, I'm not sure Dita wears than many clothes for her act...

So now I just need to get a brocade doublet, cloak, tights, sword, horse, greyhounds, falcons, manor house.

At least Boy 1 is not Anne Boleyn. That part went to another boy (boys only schools: the cross-dresser's alma mater).

Have a nice weekend Dahlings and Keep Warm/Cool*

*delete as applicable, this is of course an Equal Opportunities Trans National blog.

The blog goes all teenage

My blog is nothing if not a huge copycat (or copy parrot as Boy 1 used to say, which is, I suppose, logical). In particular my blog is slavishly devoted to the glamorous Faux Fuchsia blog. Since FF blog is having a mid-life crisis, my blog has decided it needs to have a crisis too. But as my blog is much younger and sillier, it is having a teenage moment instead.


First it went all touchy and offhand and sarcastic:

Duh!

Whatever!

As if!

Loser!



And apparently no one understands it! (no change there then).

And it never asked to be created.



It refused to get up this morning, I mean what sort of time is this for a post?


It has lost all interest in sport (Steven Gerrard and mountain biking) and instead wants to hang around shops and listen to Capital FM. It likes pop music by people with confusing names like Tinchy Strider and Tiny Temper and it laughs at me when I get the names all wrong - Lady GooGoo, Jason dePencil, no, deRulo. Jason sings a song entitled "Ridin' Solo" where he seems to say he is getting his "sheep" together - the blog got cross when I asked whether Mr DeRulo was involved in animal husbandry.




The blog was so moody and down that today I had to take it up to TopShop at Oxford Circus so it could hang out with all the other teenagers. It insisted on taking its faux leopard bag which really is not sensible as it does not have a nice secure zip and cannot be sponged down easily.

Once at TopShop the blog behaved really quite badly. It immediately got told off for trying to take a pic of a faux leopard fur coat on its phone. And sulked.

We then had a tremendous tussle over some new slippers for wearing in the house. I said some nice quilted velour ones would be good. It insisted on these. What, I asked, are all those metal studs for? And white is really going to show up any food stains. The blog threatened to burst into tears and in the end I gave in.

I then said I would buy the blog a nice flattering pair of slacks for best. It sulked until I allowed it to take some other "trendier" kit to try on too.

Things got tense again when I remarked the effect of this blouse was lampshade-like and did the blog really want to spend all day standing around in the living room next to the sofa?

And the voluminous sleeves were voluminous. Good for hiding cupcakes or white rabbits.

Against my advice, leopard harem pants were tried on. I laughed and said a nice skirt would be more flattering. The blog grumped and said I just did not "get" fashion.

Then this hoodie. "You are not going out looking like that!" and "What exactly is the point of that garment, it is not going to be very warm or keep the rain off and what about washing it?" were some of the insights I shared. The blog got really huffy.

I managed to lure the blog out of TopShop with the promise of a megaFrappucino and crisps and cupcakes (covers all teen food groups) at Fatbucks. We then sloped along to Selfridges and caught sight of this window display.

The blog convinced me it needed new, "cooler" wellies, despite the fact it already has a nice children's pair in pale pink with dark pink hearts on. It said everyone wears Hunters these days.

So off to the new Selfridges Shoe Galleries, very posh and full of all sorts of brands, including the usual suspects: Jimmy Choo, Louboutin.

I bought the wellies but managed to persuade the blog to go for a sensible colour, not bright pink.



The blog also fell in love with these Repettos but I held firm. Maybe for the blog's birthday.

I did manage a bit of shopping for myself too. I was very taken with this navy blue/leopard print combo as seen in this pic from The Sartorialist.

So I went for this shirt, from Zara. No doubt the blog will borrow it without asking and spill Diet Coke all over it.

Must go now, the blog wants to be taken over to its friend's house to listen to music, play around with* make up and talk about* boys.

*Jeez, I hope I got these the right way round, otherwise me and the blog need to have a little chat ..