Donner und Blitzen and Expert Dog Training

Hello Dahlings!

Sunday afternoon here so have sneaked off to update you all on life at Blighty HQ.

We have had a mini heatwave here and then tremendous thunderstorms and lightning - Donner und Blitzen.  No, not the reindeer Mr B.  Ha ha, Mr B, ha ha.

So my cheapo Primark dress appeared on its annual, one day outing.

I may have mentioned I contracted serious Scarf Fever but this hot weather makes wearing a scarf impossible.  Finally I understand the lamenting of the ladies on the Purse Forum about this, yes Mr B there is such a thing as a Purse Forum and yes Mr B, First World Problem par excellence.

I can't even wear this scarf which would really be appropriate.

I confess I saw Faux Fuchsia looking divine in it on her blog so when I saw it in a different colourway on Evil Bay I snapped it up.  

I had to buy it, it has not only zebras but also giraffes on it.

Here's Faux Fuchsia modelling her scarf, see it's all her fault!  Dear FF, sorry to be a copy parrot, hope this is not too Single White Female!! Please don't tell Mrs Danvers.

Meanwhile both boys are now on hols, Boy 1 had to endure 2 more weeks at his school, while Boy 2 already on hols lived the dream of the Single Child.  He set himself a personal challenge to eat a ham and cheese toastie at Costa Coffee every day for a week.  Here he is on day 4 going for broke with 2 of them.  After this I am afraid I called time on this ruinously expensive carry on and suggested he did the summer reading challenge instead like all the other kids.

I know it's only early on in the summer hols but I am quite tempted to try trading one or both of the boys in,  in return for this brand new tiptop executive home on sale in our road.  

But don't worry, I am keeping the Monty Dog.  We are in advanced preparation for our debut in the Commonwealth Games, high jump.  Next thing you know, I will have made a top dog training video, Training for Success.  Cesar Milan, eat your heart out!

Better go, we are now experiencing a slight domestic hiccup: Mr B has run over the dog stake out line (complete with corkscrew stake thingie) with the mower - all of the line/corkscrew metal thing is now wrapped around the blades, it is probs curtains for the mower.  And for the line.

  Mr B tentatively suggested, to look on the bright side, that it was a good job the dog was not attached to it at the time.  I may have said something like "You and that bl**dy mower."  As you do.

Woof woof?

Dahlings, how are you?  Anyone left out there? It's been so long!

But I have a great excuse. 

Remember I wanted to get one of these.

Well, I went and got one of these.

Meet Monty B, Official Dog of the Blighty Blog.


He's a Border Terror  Terrier and his full name is Montmorency de Monfort de Montalbano de Naughty Pants (ok, no it's not, it's just we all enjoy elaborating on his name as none of us can agree what Monty stands for, that's the problem with naming by committee;  I wanted to call him something soppy like Ambrose or Quentin, while the boys favoured Killer or Poop, so Mr B set up a committee and a working party and a compromise name was hammered out...)


Monty and me have been going to puppy training classes, first we did Puppy Pre-School where we got out paws stuck in our collar and our lead tangled round the chair;  then we graduated to Puppy Primary where we ate a lot of sausage and lay in the grass with our legs in the air.  I know, I am a disgrace, at least Monty was well behaved...

The puppy training lady told us it was VITAL to socialise. 

So I did what she said and went to Ascot.

In the distance is the Queen, in blue, giving out a prize

Also I went to the Capital Radio Summertime Ball at Wembley. Saw Justin Timberlake and Taylor Swift, among others.

Sat next to these young men.  And felt old.

And I went to lunch during the Festival of Fuchsia at Balthazar in Covent Garden, London, where I saw not only FF but also Janet from Gardener's Cottage, Tabitha from Bourbon and Pearls and Romy . 

OK, so maybe it was the dog who was meant to be seeing new people and places....but at least I am well socialised ...I hardly ever bite the postman's legs now.


Must go, got a bicycle to chase.

Festival of Fuchsia

Dahlings, it's been excitement overload.  I've been participating in the Festival of Fuchsia.  Dear FF, as you no doubt know, has been Over Here on a Garden Tour and to visit her sister in London.  I was thrilled to go to Paris with her and her sister for the weekend.

Dahlings, I felt I had died and gone to heaven as I climbed onto the Eurostar with FF, her sis and their matching Chanel handbags.

The trip was eventful, not least because a dastardly clipboard wielding pickpocket relieved me of my iPhone on the rue de Rivoli.

So no Paris pics from me.

But I did spend an entertaining hour in the Commissariat de police, tormenting the clerk with my French.  I can report that the police in France seem as preoccupied with snacks as the police here: important phone calls took place where the number of sugars in coffee was clarifed; beefy armed cops strolled in bearing cakes and biscuits; other police operatives helped themselves to buns and chocolate.  I innocently asked them if they watched the French cop drama Spiral (Engrenages) and had to dig my nails in my hand to prevent hysterical laughter when the clerk told me in all seriousness that Spiral was an accurate depiction of their professional life.  I must have missed the scenes involving hot chocolate and doughnuts...

Well FF may have shown me Chanel and Hermes, and her sister took us to the most lovely restaurants, but I feel I did my bit by showing them the inside of a police station....


FF gave me this lovely silk scarf from Honkers so I scarfed it up in a jaunty Parisian fashion.

On Sunday we strolled round the Place des Vosges and poked our noses into the Pavillon de la Reine Hotel, in a courtyard off the Place.  Mr B and I spent our first wedding anniversary there. Here's a visual from those days, one of us now has less hair and one of us can no longer fit into that skirt (really wish Mr B would stop wearing my clothes...)

And what did I bring home from Paris?

Sugar lumps.

Yes, I know, odd, but I adore the way the French do the small things in such a dinky, charming way and sugar lumps are one of them.


It was so lovely to catch up with dear FF, we talked nonstop on the Eurostar all the way there and all the way back.  I'd just like to apologise to the man in seat 67 (outward) and the man in seat 32 (return); sorry about your headaches but I do think trying to climb out of the train when it was hitting 150mph was a bit extreme...

10 years later

Dahlings how are you?

As predicted Boy 2 returned from his school trip and had the Tantrum of All Tantrums.

Maybe he is affected by the break up of Girls Aloud.

I know I am.

From the Guardian on-line

Girls Aloud is about the same age as Boy 2 -  I used to sit on the sofa feeding the baby Boy 2 (I know, TMI)  and watching Popstars the Rivals, which created Girls Aloud.  So I feel a link between them and Boy 2.

And I have lived it: the tears, the laughter, the arguments, the nightclubs, the footballers, the tattoos, the dodgy singing.. and that's just Boy 2..

In other news I am trying to understand the Harlem Shake meme.  This article explains it.
 here.  The latest is the sacking of the librarian at St Hilda's Oxford for failing to stop a Harlem Shake in the library.

In Haircare News, I have bought this.  Excellent for de-tangling.






And this.  To deal with the ever present worry of Colour Fading/Brassy Tones.

From look.fantastic.com

I know you all will be very relieved, my haircare issues must have been keeping you awake at night.


I read this. It is really quite horrid.  Only read if you really have to, and preferably on hols on a sunbed.  Not on your own, late at night.





I enjoyed this more - Linda in Chile has read it too.

I have done a new whatsit on my sidebar showing what I am currently reading.  I stole the idea from Mrs Peabody and the other book bloggers.  See, I wanna play with the grown ups too.


I am busy preparing for my trip to Paris with Faux Fuchsia by watching this tough French cop/lawyer drama, Spiral 4.

Spiral 4 - from BBC Four websiste

  I can now say in French "Shut up punk, spread them, it's the slammer for you" which should come in handy in Hermes (those sales assistants can be very uppity).



Juge Roban is my favourite character, he is very tall and thin and dinky in a very French way, and look at his hair, I bet he uses Aveda shampoo too.

From BBC Four website

Finally I am LOVING this Twitter thing - makes me laugh till I cry - the spoof prison diary of Chris Huhne (probably not of interest to non-UK readers, he is the ex-Cabinet Minister recently jailed for perverting the course of justice by getting his now ex-wife to take his penalty points for speeding...)


Bye for now, stay strong, Girls Aloud may have broken up but there is always One Direction....yes, quite.

Memo to Angelic Arthur

Lovely B (cousin of Mr B) is to become a Grandma: her daughter is expecting her first baby. Mr B and I are very relieved, we thought we had put R and her hubs off children.  After all, they have had the opportunity to observe Boys 1 and 2 at close quarters, and it ain't pretty.

It turns out R and hubs have ordered a Perfect Baby, so it won't go in for any  Boy 1 and 2 shenanigans.

Boys 1 and 2 are not impressed by Angelic Arthur (as they call him).   They have decided he needs some pointers for when he hits town, so he does not bring disgrace to the League of Boys.  They have only just forgiven Faux Fuchsia's boy for being such an adorable baby: luckily he has redeemed himself in their eyes with all the cushion action.*

Top Tips for Angelic Arthur

Food should be worn, ditto food containers.

Clear those bookshelves; if you can't reach, stand on the pushalong Thomas your parents will regret buying you (less a toy, more a tactical assault vehicle).  Also clear out inside of drawers until your parents tie up the drawers (that's fine, you can then focus more on the bookshelves).  Also attempt to pull the TV on top of yourself, so your parents end up putting a small portable above toddler level.

 

 

 

Wear a really bad toupe so you look like a 1950s TV host.

 

 

 

 

 

Put EVERYTHING in your mouth, the more unhygienic the better.  Remember, nothing exists until you have clamped your jaws round it.  Ensure that Type A perfectionist mothers never ask you round for a playdate again.. those type of mothers just don't like another kid's drool on their kids' toys...

 

 

Wait till Mum not looking and then pull out about 300 nappy sacks.

 

As Mum wails, look at her sweetly, like this.  Remember, it's good to mess with her mind.

 

 

Fit yourself into unfeasibly small spaces: give Mum a lovely surprise by popping out of the laundry basket like a demented jack-in-the-box...

 

 

Or try ramming something on your head.  But careful, when mothers panic they get creative with olive oil.

 

 

Towards the end of the day, after Mum has cleared up, take it up a notch and empty your toy boxes into the kitchen.  How Mum will laugh...

 

 

 

 

 

 

*But Le Child FF needs to spice things up a bit, how about Nutella on the cushions?  Or a least show Mummy how you can get the top off your sippy cup..go on, you can do it!

A bit chilly

Dahlings, how are you?   Really, a kitchen extension with an orangery and water feature? Me?  Oh no, I am very happy with my beige linoleum thank you (right eye twitches).

Here we had a bit of snow yesterday but just a light sprinkling, I have to be honest I wasn't completely happy with the coverage.

I suppose I am a bit like Faux Fuchsia and her Christmas tree coverage - she likes it plentiful and well distributed.  Well so do I, with snow.

By the way, here is a pic of the Blighty 2012 Christmas tree.  It did not have uniform coverage, as Boy 1 of his own accord took it upon himself to decorate it.  So there is heavy ornament application around the front and lower branches.  But I don't mind.  I think he shows great promise - one day perhaps he could be a window dresser for Selfridges.

Selfridges window last year - a tribute to Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama

Right, back to the cold weather.

Luckily I bought some boofy snow boots in the sales.

I also popped on my Alpine style waistcoat number, from H&M.  I bet they all wear them at Klosters.

I also rolled out my new fluffy waistcoat, Mr B bought it for me for my birthday, I must let him know.  It's very soft and stroke-able, like having a cat except it does not bring mice into the house or scratch the sofa, fingers crossed.

Last night I decided I wanted a Korat cat, till I read they were very sensitive and got upset by loud noises.  Hmm, probably not ideal for Blighty HQ then.



source

It is essential to eat properly when the weather is cold.

Nourishing drinks are also vital.

I have been reading in the newspapers that according to the Government and various charities,  it is very important to keep an eye on the elderly in this cold weather and call in on them to make sure they are alright.

Well, it's been a couple of days now since the cold snap started, and I am still waiting for my visit.

I even rang the council, I believe in being pro-active.

I talked to a very nice lady and explained I was an older lady and would very much like a young person to drop by the house, to make sure I was nice and warm.  I said I wasn't fussy, a young man,  6 ft 4, blonde, blue eyes, lightly muscled, six pack preferable....there would be some light duties around the house...

source - hmmm, typical

Gosh, I am feeling much warmer already...