Barcelona offers hope for Moana, and some Important Advice

I underwent a bit of a style transformation while in Barcelona, I really wanted to catch that contemporary Spanish vibe

Dahlings, still quite not up to speed, what with the unpacking of suitcases and putting Boys 1 and 2 in the washing machine...

In the meantime, I have encouraging news for Moana.

Whaddya mean, who is Moana?  Come on people, stay with it! Moana is the latest alter ego of Louise of InTownsville, my blogosphere soulmate and partner in crime  really dodgy jokes.http://fromnorthqld.wordpress.com/

  I met Louise in Real Life a few months ago - you can read about the meeting of the Superpowers here.http://blightyworld.blogspot.com/2011/01/when-blighty-met-lousie.html

Thanks to the evil cyclone Yasi, Louise broke her back.  Since then, due to terrible pain, Lou sometimes transforms into Moana, very understandably. 

Lou and I have been joking about getting her a new back somehow....

So,  look what I found in a small restaurant/bar in Barcelona on our first day:

Item 3:  Back with Egg and Chips. 

Lou,  the Back is on its way to you, but I am afraid Boy 1 ate the egg and chips.

(I would like to apologise to Janet of Gardener's Cottage and any other vegetarians/vegans for the extremely carnivorous nature of this menu; I think perhaps the translation is a bit over-enthusiastic.... )

Now, you know how I like to perform a public service role in this blog (I guess I am just sooo pro-active and caring).  Well, I am able to pass on some Important Advice we received on arrival from our receptionist at Juan Towel Hotel.  The receptionist handed us a piece of paper warning us about the danger of pickpockets in Barcelona - the paper listed various scenarios such as:

• if someone tell you in street that you have stain on your clothes do not stop, they will steal   from you
• if someone tell you something is wrong with your car do not stop, they will steal from you
• if someone is playing a game of dice do not play, they will steal from you
• if someone approaches you in the street, run away screaming, it will be Boys 1 and  2 whining for more ice creams
• if you want to be robbed in broad daylight go to the Barcelona football team stadium Camp Nou and hand over your credit card plus remaining Euros in  the gift shop

Gift shop at Camp Nou, background noise is Mrs B weeping into her wallet

Camp Nou stadium

In Barcelona they speak Catalan which to me seems like a mix of French and Spanish...this is the Barcelona club motto: More Than A Club (damn right it is, it's also a brilliant vehicle for the sale of nylon T shirts at extortionate prices...the concentration of man made fibres in that gift shop surely contravenes Elf and Safety rules on fire hazards)

Having rendered us pleasantly neurotic, the receptionist then came out with her coup de grace:

"Is no good putting rucksack in your backside!"  Those fiendish pickpockets will stop at nothing ...

So there you have it, the most useful piece of advice I can pass on to other travellers.

 DON'T PUT YOUR RUCKSACK IN YOUR BACKSIDE

It will only make your eyes water anyway.

You can thank me later.

Barça Barça Barça!

Hello Dahlings! I've been on a mini-break to Barcelona.  Special report: Blighty in Barcelona coming soon!

Apparently they have quite a good football team - with dedicated TV channel, such a comfort to know one needs never miss any footie highlights.......

Eggscentric art

Hello Dahlings!  It's been a while since I put a pic of gorgeous old moi on the blog, so thought I would remedy this tout de suite.

Well, I have to report that Boys 1 and 2 are once again on hols from that august country club with side order of lessons, otherwise know as Daphnes4Boy$ (you will recall that it was recently rebranded to encompass the dollar sign, to make clear its commitment to accepting all hard currencies and to make it more down with the boys, yo etc.).

Boy 2 went in on the last day of term armed with a hardboiled egg, apparently required for Easter egg decorating that day.  It looked like this.

Imagine how impressed I was when he came home with this.

With this inside.

Yes, a completely undecorated egg.

IS THIS THE SORT OF ART I EXPECT TO GET IN RETURN FOR THE EYE WATERING SCHOOL FEES?
YES, YES, AND THRICE, YES.

Don't you see?  That school is DOES NOT MISS A TRICK. It has cunningly turned Boy 2 into a Britart Damien Hirst type.  His finished egg is a brilliant artistic conceit,  an insightful post-modernist comment on the entire bourgeois egg decorating Zeitgeist, quietly devastating in its ironic banality.

Indeed, in reviewing "Egg" by Boy 2, the art critic for the Independent said it was "a brilliant artistic conceit, an insightful post-modernist comment on the entire bourgeois egg decorating Zeitgeist, quietly devastating in its ironic banality."

In short, Kerching (sound of cash registers merrily chirping): we all know how much old Damien got for his bits.  And you know how his shark had to be replaced as the original one started to go a bit off? Well, I feel sure that quite soon Boy 2's egg is going to start ponging too.  But no worries, I can just whip down to Tescos and get another (half dozen).

UPDATE:
 I have received a number of comments on the photo of moi above, expressing the view that I have had some work done on my face.  I would like to make it clear that, although I have in the past used Botox, I have stopped.  I did not like the way it made my face look, it made it impossible for me to frown and I once hiccuped and almost popped out an eyeball.  As a woman  crazed marsupial I embrace the expression lines that living life to the full brings,  and to prove it, here are photos of me 10 years ago and today.  I have also never had hair extensions.

In 2011

In 2001



Any rumours that I have had a tail tuck or lift are totally unfounded too.

Mothers' Day Out

Last week me and some Mummy friends went up to London on the train to do lunch and a spot of shopping. We launched ourselves on an unsuspecting Marylebone High Street. Here are some snaps, taken in the brief moments when I was stopping to draw breath in between my chatting!

We went past the very attractive window of Designer's Guild.



Then we had a good browse and restorative tea in a foodie emporium called Natural Kitchen.

Some of this Pukka tea was purchased; I am a big fan of Tick Tock Rooibos tea

Next we checked out Agnes B.  Very French, very stylish but heart-stoppingly expensive for What It Is.

Agnes B laidback cool

I liked this Agnes B toile de Jouy dress

With this dress you get scarves attached - but too frightening to think of dishwasher related accident

Below, Daunt Books is one of the nicest bookshops in London - originally specialising in travel books but now does all sorts, worth going inside just for the building.

I insisted we went into Malene Birger, so I could pay hommage to one of Faux Fuchsia's favourite shoppes.  I last went here with Faux herself when I met up with her last year.

One of the Mummies - my friend K, isn't she cute?  And sooo tiny! A real doll! Can you believe she has 2 boys same ages as mine and a little girl too!

The decor in Malene was very fancy but it just wasn't the same without the supreme glamour of the Faux Fuchsia.



Malene seems to have gone all hippy-boho for summer, lots of maxi dresses, no good for shortie me.

I liked this, not least because it was 70% off but I saw nothing as nice as the dress Faux bought.

Next we went to Matches. Nice but full of super expensive designer kit.

Dummy with hand out is saying, "No, Mrs Blighty, do not come in here, you are not a high net worth individual and you shop at Tesco"

Chloe bag, did not bother looking at  price as shouting out "Good God, what a price!" not cool

Pretty cups at Matches - we did not get offered any beverages, you probably have to spend lots of money whereas I kept cracking jokes about how I would need a lottery win first...strangely the sales assistants did not find this funny...

Marc Jacobs dress at Matches, about £3 trillion

After Matches we staggered into Cologne and Cotton, a nice homeware, bed linen shop. 

And finally we perused Whistles where I liked this dress, not least because Grandma Whacker often accuses me of Doing Too Much and, an even more serious accusation, Galloping Around.

The time honoured response to a charge of Galloping Around is to neigh, shout "Clip Clop" and demand a nosebag for all meals

Grandma W has been following Louise of InTownsville's blog and is very concerned about Louise's poor broken back.  Recently G pronounced that Louise was Doing Too Much and Galloping Around.  So Louise - behave, otherwise I will send you this dress!!

And then we went home and the other Mummies reminded me that I needed to collect Boys 1 and  2 from school.  It's really important I go on trips with responsible adults.

Woof woof

1st April 2011

Dahlings, this post is a day late  - sorry!

Just wanted to let you know we have a new member of the Blighty household, an adorable little dog.  I am going to call him Thatcher after Mrs T's most notorious accessory.

Isn't he just too much?

Some of you know that I have been considering getting a dog for a while now and this little chap seemed to fit right into my lifestyle.

Must go, we need to do walkies.


"Dog"  - Fendi at Bicester Village, £4000 reduced to £2000, good luck to Sally who is shopping at Bicester today, Sally, I am sorry I did not get back to you but am sure you will have a nice day there!

Relax Mr B, of course I did not buy this thing but Lovely B and I had a great giggle over it!

Louise of InTownsville - you might want to print a big copy of this picture for Siggi, sort of chihuahua  doggie porn...

Getting back in Touch

Who knew Blighty was a National Humorous Weekly for only  6 pence?

Dahlings, so sorry to have neglected you for so long but life has been busy and filled with glamour.

Like this.

Mr B: the hairdresser won't do Boy 1's hair - he has Nits!
Mrs B: at least Boy 2 hasn't got them.  Oh, yikes!

And this.

1.30am: Mummmmmeeeeee. I feel icky-sicky
Mrs B: just don't throw up on the new carpet, there's a dear

Then Lovely B came to stay (cousin to Mr Blighty, partner in retail crime to Mrs Blighty) and Things Went Rapidly Downhill.  We shopped for England.  Our timetable went something like this:
Day 1: trip to picturesque Old Amersham, coffee and shopping ( more about this later)
Day 2: trip to Bicester Village (retail outlet and my spiritual home), coffee, shopping, lunch, more shopping
Day 3: trip to Eden Shopping Centre, High Wycombe, shopping, coffee, lunch, shopping
Day 4: no shopping,  dvd of "Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" (brilliantly summarised by Faux Fuchsia as "I have a big tattoo, I have been abused, I want revenge").
Day 5: no shopping whatsoever
Day 6: Lovely B departs and credit cards cool down


So obviously I have had No Time for blogging.

On Day1 Lovely B and I popped into a brilliant shop in Old Amersham called Touch*, which belongs to Annette,  a very pretty and stylish mother of one of Boy 1's schoolmates.  Lovely B and I had the best time chatting to Annette and perusing grabbing and poking at all the fab stuff in the shop:  new and vintage clothes, jewellery, shoes, gifts...the pictures will give you an idea of the retail temptations that are available:

* did you see how I worked that into the title of this post? good eh?
Note from Mr B: no, not good, really a bit painful to be honest

70s glam rock type dress next to Mick

Should I buy this hat for The Wedding even if just watching it on TV?

70s peasant number (yes B, I am talking about the dress)

Vintage Cerruti

I loved this

Serious shoe lust for these

I pounced on unsuspecting customer and made her model the hat, sorry Annette if I have so traumatised this nice lady that she never comes back again....

My precious!

I came away from Touch with this silky tunic, the material is lovely and the details are nice, like the turned back cuffs and the brown leopardlike trim; Lovely B has advised leggings to go with.

 

Top  - pic taken from Touch website

 

So if you live near, go visit Touch.  Old Amersham is a great place for some light shopping, coffee and lunch!  But give those Blighty Boys a wide berth.  At least until they stop scratching.

http://www.touchlounge.co.uk/index.html

No rewards or inducements or stuff were given to me for writing about Touch but I am hoping that if Annette's son gets nits too, she will think twice before running me over in the school carpark