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Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Mother of two held for attempted murder

Buckinghamshire housewife Mrs Bledwina Blighty has been arrested in the Peak District on suspicion of the attempted murder of her husband.

According to our sources, Mrs Blighty had been acting strangely, recently increasing her husband's life insurance cover.  It is also reported that relations between the couple had been strained in past weeks due to what Mrs B described as "that bl**dy motorbike film".

Witnesses told police that Mrs Blighty insisted her husband accompany her on what she described as "a lovely, peaceful hike".

In a bizarre twist, it appears Mr Blighty is standing by his wife and will help her to clear her name.

Speaking to reporters outside Chesterfield police station he said, " I am confident this misunderstanding will be cleared up soon.  Bledwina only insisted that I wear a tweed deerstalker decorated with a number of feathers is so that I would fit in in the countryside; I was a little taken aback when she opted for a flak jacket and a tin hat but I respect her sartorial choices."


  1. I know it's not supposed to be funny, but I'm in hysterics :-)

  2. What ever really happened, I'm certain it wasn't your fault, you certainly must have been provoked to the point of cracking. Tempoary insanity is what I'd claim. Works like a charm in court almost every time.

  3. Mr B be careful for I suspect you shall NEVER live down the fact you did treat your wife to a bl**dy motorbike film on an Anniversary.
    To make amends I recommend you right the situation with a Rolex watch of Mrs B's choosing or other very expensive jewellery or you may be glancing over your shoulder forevermore.

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  5. My fiancé recently increased his life insurance... fancy taking him for one of your restorative walks through the country? ;0)

    Sarah x

  6. MMMM, now Blights, did Grandma W ever take YOU for any refreshing and brisk country walks like this one?

  7. Dear Mrs Blighty, I am so glad that Mr B is taking this all so well. I suspect he understands that it is a husband's lot to be the target of a few potshots every now and then. Nonetheless, I agree with the majority view that a Rolex watch may be just the thing to distract you from your new found love of nature walks. However, if Mr B chooses not to accept this excellent advice Mr LiC is able to recommend a reasonably priced supplier of flak jackets and asbestos undies. Take heart in the interim, Mrs B, no court would convict you! love Lindaxx

  8. I'm sure the purchase of a diamond encrusted rolex will restore Peace Order and Love to Chez Blighty xxx

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