Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Tuesday 1 March 2011

One Of Those Days

It's One of Those Days when:

  • I oversleep; on waking I hear Mr B saying to Boy 2:
"Don't pull it anymore, it'll come off."
Whatever he was doing, and to be honest I would rather not know, it can't be good, can't it?

  • The living room floor has gone:

Dear FF, please send your Daddy or the Penguin as a matter of urgency, the cushion situation is out of hand here

  • I waste time watching an interview with Charlie Sheen, reading up on his antics and wondering whether I would like to come back as Sheen in my next life - he seems to know how to party, whereas me and Mr B get all tired at about 10.30pm and have to pretend we need to go home as it is getting too late for the babysitter.
My favourite Charlie S quotes:

"I couldn't keep up with him" says porn star after 36 hour cocaine bender with Charlie Sheen".

"Sheen is now out of hospital having suffered a hernia".  Not entirely surprised.  *             



*Blighty in no way endorses substance abuse or romping about with porn stars; a cup of tea is a nice way to unwind and if feeling a bit like pushing the boat out, a rich tea biscuit.             

    Pic of Mr Sheen from Daily Mail website. His publicist has just quit. Guess the job got dull.
  • Realise I am absolutely freezing and heating not working; ring Mr B at his work who kindly informs me that after our colossal gas bill he has put heating onto timer setting, which can be summarised as follows: Boys and Mr B at home - heating on; Boys and Mr B out - heating off.  Yes, I have put on an extra jumper, in fact I am wearing 3 jumpers and I am STILL COLD.  Take by revenge on Mr B who has left me note asking me to pick up book for him from library - write at bottom "Sorry cannot do it, legs frozen."  Re-jig heating and set it to tropical and play Bob Marley CD very loudly.    


Mrs B's kitchen chairs under new daytime heating regime

  • 2 ladies come to the door and ask me if I am interested in the word of God. They look as if they are settling in for the full doorstop conversion but I tell them Mr B is an atheist; one of them says "That must be hard for you."  I consider breaking down in tears and saying, "Yes, and he doesn't let me have any heating on in the day" but feel that might be overdoing it. They give me pamphlet  entitled "Would you like to know the Truth?"  I want to ask why there is such poor mobile phone reception round here.  Feel sure God has moved with the times and is a whizz at IT and texting etc.  He can't still be doing the stone tablets and writing on the wall can he?


  • Derek the painter phones up to find out what paint we want in Boy 2's room; discover have sent email to Derek (Boy 1's teacher from last year) instructing him to do room in Dulux Orchid White, trade paint.  Wonder if Derek the teacher has bought the paint yet. And will school add it to fees at usual uplift?  Better switch the heating off, just in case.

53 comments:

  1. HA! I'm the mean one here. Turned off all day time heat in January and am cutting morning heat out as well just as soon as no one is looking and my feet thaw.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nooo, American - do not say that! Will have to ensure Mr B does not see your comment..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Poor frozen you! Maybe you should ask Mr. B if you could invest in a warm cashmere jumpsuit to keep you warm while he and the boys are away.

    Charlie Sheen is sure making the rounds. Those two "goddesses" of his are something else - one was interviewed this morning and did that wiggly thing with her jaw that often indicates the use of a certain white-powdery substance Mr. S has been known to enjoy. The whole thing is like watching one of those old buildings implode in slow motion.
    With all this craziness about lately - Charlie, Gaddafi, Galliano, Lohan - I am starting to feel so sane and kind hearted! I'm almost a Puritan! I must go do something sinful! Stat!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello - I love your blog. I'm in Bucks too and it has been freezing this week. My husband is in Dubai so I have got heating on Bob Marley, but will turn it back to Shostakovich before he returns.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hello Mrs Exeter, nice to hear from you. Hasn't it been cold? Cold and damp. And muddy. do you have boys too? Mine are currently careening about the house, I must go put them into their beds, they have just knocked a picture off the wall, aaagh!
    Adrienne - that is exactly it, a building imploding,gripping but not in a nice way; must go back check out the wiggly jaw thing..

    ReplyDelete
  6. have just had fabulous news that have been paying too much for gas and lecky and am in big credit...oh yes....let it snow I'm turning it up to 11!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What is the world coming to! Glad you were able to rejig the heat, those chairs look pretty cold to me.
    Charlie Sheen? I can't even talk about it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Mrs Blighty, I tell you Mr LiC and Mr B are twins separated at birth. Mr LiC greatly prefers it if we can see our breath in the house in Winter and whenever I remonstrate he says that it is people like me that are causing Climate Change. Indeed. Can't you simply override the heating control and then cluck sympathetically when the heating bill comes in? I too, am astonished at how match fit Mr Sheen is. Clearly he is not up with the lark and children looking for lost sock/homework etc. However in the spirit of living dangerously I think I might have a choccie bikkie with my cup of tea today! Good luck with Mr Derek.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That won't do at all Blighty! Tell Mr B that Col. Gadaffi is likely looking for a new job and you hear he is easier to negotiate with. That should send the wind up him!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bwahahahaha. And I was trying to sit here all serious and everything.

    ReplyDelete
  11. So funny re the heating!!!!!!! Turn it UP!

    Too funny re the christiam Door Knockers too xxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Deb - nice and warm today, Mr B very contrite!
    Linda - steady on with the choc biccie, before you know it you will be on 36 hour biccie benders and end up injuring yourself...
    Siobhan - old Gadafi, Sheen, Galliano` = Trouble
    LPC - still musing on your hair colour post....today I feel drab and want to be Blonde Blonde Blonde
    FF - I felt sorry for the Christian ladies, one in partic looked cold, it was not a nice day for knocking on doors and I bet no one asks them in for a cup of tea, I of course did not dare, what with our satanic paraphernalia lying around plus i was short on milk; think they were Jehovah's Witnesses as the pamphlet says Watchtower on it somewhere...

    ReplyDelete
  13. NO way, no heating is cruel. Mr B better watch himself. Favours etc cannot be bestowed by cold wives. That should get him readjusting the thermostat!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Blights if Mr B insists on freezing you to death then insist he let you do it in style wearing a Hermes scarf and a Rolex.
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. It's too late now, Blighty, but one must never take the pamphlet. Now they'll be back. With their well-behaved children.

    ReplyDelete
  16. oh deary me - you need FF's dad without a doubt. Or Ray Mears. Either would do.

    Heating - Tertarus does exactly the same. I sit at a computer all day plink plonking away and he goes to do something manly with concrete or a screwdriver in the garage and the temperature plummets like a scene from the Exorcist . Like Mr Blighty, he believes HE should be comfy, but copious jumper-wearing is the answer to my request for another coal on the fire guv.

    The Witnesses don't come to my door any more. I used to be quite polite and take their leaflets, but Tertarus answered the door one day instead of me. I don't know what he said. But they never came back.

    lotsaluv

    AX

    ReplyDelete
  17. Is Mr B into torture now? Good on you for putting the heating back on! A person has to be warm you know...

    K xx

    PS: Did Derek ever get back to you?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh Blighty, you seriously make me giggle...LOVE the missing email story and the first waking comment of your day not to mention everything between. You are entertainment with a capital E xx

    ReplyDelete
  19. hi blighty,

    v funny as usual. and re charlie...i only feel pity for his poor parents. seriously.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  20. I used to use the same tactics with legend jr until he asked me if I ever tugged at my spigget. I told him I had done from time to time, while wondering where this was going to lead to. He then asked If mine had ever come off. I replied in the negative, to which he added, "I rest my case".
    Sometimes I look forward to a jehovah's witness visitation just for the light relief!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. ok, two possibilities: either you got buried under the cushions or got deep frozen like Han Solo. Neither a nice picture so let us know you are still alive and kicking. ... kicking back?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear Paula, it is very sweet to you to call in and ask where I am, thank you. I am a bit preoccupied at the moment, as Grandma W is not well and is staying with me. But I will try to post again soon, you can't keep Blighty quiet for long!
    Janet - actually now I feel ashamed I made fun of Charlie as the whole media fest and hangers on around him is sickening, and I agree, I would be devastated if my boys ended up like that, and those poor little twin boys, what a mess
    Semi Expat - thank you for your kind comments, very morale boosting
    Legend - do not think Boy 2 was doing anything rude but it just sounded ominous - he and Mr B now claim they cannot remember what he was yanking, it could have been curtain pull, school tie, doorknob, or Boy 1's leg...or fridge door or tablecloth or wardrobe door, the possibilities are endless but none of them reassuring.. Legion Junior will go far in life with that sort of forensic questioning technique, I am thinking the Bar or Parliament..

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm so far behind reading blogs let alone writing my own. I just caught up with this one now.
    Blighty you bitch, now I have a broken rib to add to broken back.
    Even Bronny the hero fire rescue, life saving dog, and is of course allowed to share my electric therapeutic wonder bed, and really is stone deaf, is looking at me trying to work out why I am laughing so much.
    I think you got me at the kitchen chairs.
    Must send Mr B photo of my car, when I can finally cut back on the drugs and actually wake up and get dressed one day.
    Lou
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
    Look advanced to more added agreeable from you!
    However, how could we communicate?
    Also see my site - quick loans

    ReplyDelete
  25. Do you have any video of that? I'd care to find out some additional information.
    My web site :: Http://Soakinginit.com/node/14990

    ReplyDelete
  26. Very good post! We will be linking to this particularly great article on our site.
    Keep up the good writing.
    My web-site ; http://geoplus.free.fr/

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi colleagues, its fantastic piece of writing on the topic
    of cultureand fully explained, keep it up all the time.
    Visit my web site :: instantcashloan308

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop,
    just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has
    83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!
    Stop by my web site ... usaknights.us

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm not sure why but this weblog is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end? I'll check back later and see if the problem still exists.
    Also visit my web site :: karelsovo.zamysleni.cz

    ReplyDelete
  30. It's really a great and helpful piece of information. I am satisfied that you shared this useful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.
    Also see my website :: http://www.lesandlynnessocialsite.com

    ReplyDelete
  31. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long
    as I provide credit and sources back to your webpage?
    My blog is in the exact same niche as yours and my visitors would truly benefit from a
    lot of the information you present here. Please let me know if this alright with you.
    Regards!
    Visit my web page ... colnotion.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. Have you ever considered about including a little
    bit more than just your articles? I mean, what
    you say is important and everything. But imagine if you added some great images or video clips to give
    your posts more, "pop"! Your content is excellent but
    with images and videos, this website could definitely be one of the greatest in its niche.
    Terrific blog!
    Also visit my webpage : www.geeksquire.Com

    ReplyDelete
  33. I'm gone to tell my little brother, that he should also go to see this web site on regular basis to get updated from latest reports.
    Also visit my web-site ; Fast Payday Loans 360

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hi there to every one, the contents present at this web site
    are really amazing for people knowledge, well, keep
    up the nice work fellows.
    Feel free to visit my blog ; Vaccineeducationonline.Org

    ReplyDelete
  35. I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did
    you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz answer back as I'm looking to create my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from. thanks a lot
    Here is my webpage :: www.nikoschiotakis.gr

    ReplyDelete
  36. I'm really loving the theme/design of your website. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A few of my blog visitors have complained about my website not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do you have any solutions to help fix this issue?
    Feel free to surf my website Same Day Loan

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog.
    Is it difficult to set up your own blog? I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I'm thinking about creating my own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions? With thanks
    Here is my web page - 3gphoneservice.at

    ReplyDelete
  38. You are so interesting! I do not believe I've truly read through a single thing like that before. So great to discover someone with a few genuine thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is something that is required on the internet, someone with a bit of originality!
    Look at my web blog ipaspoleto.org

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hi there! This article couldn't be written much better! Going through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He constantly kept talking about this. I am going to forward this post to him. Pretty sure he's going to have a good read.
    Thank you for sharing!
    Also visit my website :: Instant Loans

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to
    safeguard against hackers? I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I've worked hard on.
    Any tips?
    Also visit my webpage Myhappiface.Com

    ReplyDelete
  41. You've made some decent points there. I looked on the net for additional information about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this web site.
    Feel free to surf my web blog :: www.on4hu.be

    ReplyDelete
  42. Pretty nice post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I've truly loved browsing your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing on your feed and I hope you write once more soon!
    Here is my blog :: http://malang.di.blankon.in/wiki/index.php?title=Pengguna:InaigLau

    ReplyDelete
  43. Appreciating the commitment you put into your website and
    detailed information you present. It's good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn't the same out of date rehashed information.

    Wonderful read! I've bookmarked your site and I'm including your RSS feeds to my
    Google account.
    Also visit my webpage ; fast cash loans

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hi there, I found your blog by means of Google even
    as looking for a comparable topic, your site came up, it seems great.
    I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
    Hi there, just was aware of your blog through Google,
    and located that it's truly informative. I am going to be careful for brussels. I'll be
    grateful in case you proceed this in future. A lot of other folks might be benefited out of your writing.

    Cheers!
    Also visit my webpage - food supplements

    ReplyDelete
  45. Heya just wanted to give you a quick heads up and
    let you know a few of the images aren't loading properly. I'm not sure why but I think its
    a linking issue. I've tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.
    Feel free to visit my blog ... coq10 supplement

    ReplyDelete
  46. Incredible points. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the amazing effort.


    Feel free to visit my webpage :: make money Online free
    Also see my web site: make money at home online

    ReplyDelete
  47. Does your blog have a contact page? I'm having trouble locating it but, I'd like to send you an e-mail.

    I've got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

    Here is my webpage :: seo cheltenham

    ReplyDelete
  48. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on this blog
    loading? I'm trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog.
    Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

    Have a look at my weblog :: wiki.portalgameover.com

    ReplyDelete
  49. I visited several blogs however the audio quality for audio songs present at this web site is in fact fabulous.



    Have a look at my web blog diet that works
    Also see my webpage > diets that work fast for women

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hello there! I could have sworn I've been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it's new to me.
    Nonetheless, I'm definitely glad I found it and I'll be bookmarking and checking back
    frequently!

    Take a look at my page; bmi chart female

    ReplyDelete
  51. Good day! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if
    you knew where I could get a captcha plugin for my comment form?
    I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having trouble finding
    one? Thanks a lot!

    Here is my web-site ... body mass index chart
    Also see my website - bmi chart female

    ReplyDelete
  52. Have you ever thought about publishing an ebook or guest authoring on other
    websites? I have a blog based upon on the same ideas you discuss and would love to have you share
    some stories/information. I know my audience would value your work.
    If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an email.



    Also visit my blog :: benefits of coq10

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hey there superb website! Does running a blog such as this require a large amount of
    work? I've absolutely no knowledge of programming but I was hoping to start my own blog in the near future. Anyhow, if you have any recommendations or tips for new blog owners please share. I know this is off topic however I simply had to ask. Thanks!

    Also visit my blog post ... business checks

    ReplyDelete

My post is all Norma No Mates, cheer her up by commenting!