Photo from Illamasqua website
Hello Dahlings! Hope you are all well. I will explain the above picture later. I just couldn't face starting the post with a photo of, say, socks.
Right, now here's a photo of socks.
You see, it's got very cold here. Not snowy cold. Not frosty in the mornings cold. But a cruel, biting wind. As I said to Mr Blighty just this morning, "Ooh, that's a cruel, biting wind."
And part of my maternal duties involves watching Boys 1 and 2 and other assorted sizes of boys play in football matches. Last term rugby, this term football. Whatever next? I was just getting used to the rugby too. For example, when during rugby matches over-excited fathers yelled "Ruck Over", I learnt not to shout back "Ruck off". Don't worry, I have no idea what "Ruck over" means either.
I have discovered that the cold and damp seems to seep up through my Hunter wellies as I stand dreaming of the post-match cuppa. A friend told me you can get liners for your Hunters and as I love spending money on accessorising my rubber wear (that sounds wrong) I was there.
I also got some welly liners for the Boys, as during the pre-Christmas snow we went on a trek through the woods with friends. On the way home Boy 1 claimed he had frostbite and it looked like our expedition was going all Scott of the Antarctic. I attempted a mother-to-boy sock transplant in the middle of a snowy field in the almost dark (one of my worst ideas since offering to help with the fraction simplification Maths homework). At this point my friend's husband masterfully flung the whimpering Boy 1 over his shoulder and strode off with him. It was just like the ending of "An Officer and A Gentleman" except without the sailor uniform...where was I? Just wandered off for a moment...
Below, some handy dandy heat warming pads I also bought. Note to self: do not confuse with Instant Noodles, probably highly toxic.
Mindful always of my role as fashion icon to the masses, I opted for these leopard numbers. Jaunty or what?
In these grey wintry days I find myself attracted to bright red lipstick. In Selfridges the other day I went to check out the MAC counter as I heard that MAC lipsticks like Ruby Woo and Russian Red were the thing. Sadly the MAC counter was swarming and too hectic for me, thought I did have a nice chat with a lady who was trying to get a lipstick to match her red Hermes bag. The terrible challenges some people have to face.
So I took refuge at the Illamasqua counter. Illamasqua is probably the only English cosmetics company out there. The sales assistant chap was charming and called me darling, and advised me to get this colour. He also Strongly Recommended I get the Matching Lipliner. So I did. You do not argue with top make up experts who call you darling.
Apparently the key is pigment: Illamasqua products are highly pigmented so in the case of this lipstick you do not need much to get the true depth of colour and the colour lasts longer on your lips. Having carried out extensive testing in the Blighty beauty room (downstairs loo) under highly controlled conditions (minus 3 mins to get boys to school; boys in bout of unarmed combat right outside the door) I can confirm this is top stuff.
Now, further winter warming equipment: chocolate puddings. Full of essential nutrients...
And discounted Panettone (actually a Pandoro, the plain one without fruit in) from the local Italian deli, who were selling them off after Christmas (Mrs B, savvy shopper).
And vitamin drink. Which I hope will increase my energy levels, as my current tendency is towards hibernation.
Boy 2 was dressed up like this first thing this morning. No idea why. Maybe dressing as a Viking is his way of keeping warm. I expect all that pillaging and other stuff they got up to, kept them nice and warm.
Below, not another chocolate pudding.
This is a hat: Step One in pulling together a Tudor costume for Boy 1. The amount of dressing up that school goes in for, I expect Boys 1 and 2 to be nothing less than Dita Van Teese type burlesque artists when they grow up. Actually, I'm not sure Dita wears than many clothes for her act...
So now I just need to get a brocade doublet, cloak, tights, sword, horse, greyhounds, falcons, manor house.
At least Boy 1 is not Anne Boleyn. That part went to another boy (boys only schools: the cross-dresser's alma mater).
Have a nice weekend Dahlings and Keep Warm/Cool*
*delete as applicable, this is of course an Equal Opportunities Trans National blog.