Mrs Blighty is here to help

Paul Smith babygro, from Paul Smith website, for babies, you can get babygros for adults but that's just so wrong

Happy New Year Dahlings! So we have finished with the Noughties. What are we calling this new decade thingie? The Elevenses? Nope. The Onesies? Isn't that what Americans call babygros? (those all-in-one suit thingies you put new babies in, which have 120 poppers to do up and if you get one wrong you have to start all over again and so is excellent when parent is sleep deprived and it is 3am and you can't see, as the lights are low to persuade the Baby (who is trying out for the lead in The Omen) to go back to sleep, and obviously I am not talking from experience....)

Ah yes, babies. I am very excited about the lovely Faux Fuchsia's baby news. Of course when I met her back a couple of months ago I knew she was pregnant (I am a highly trained medical professional - er, well, no) and was Sworn to Secrecy. For a blabbermouth like me this was a real challenge....time and again I would start a post about cupcakes or my slowcooker or books or nail varnish (note how these are ranked in order of importance vis a vis world peace) and suddenly I would find myself typing "FAUX FUCHSIA IS HAVING A BABY HOW EXCITING IS THAT"...

And doesn't FF look divine and chic, quite most elegant mother to be ever? But I do feel she could do with a bit of Blighty advice re maternity wear.

I don't know what is going on in the FF household but poor darling FF is forced to make do with her YSL and Malene Birger dresses, ole Mr FF needs to spring open his wallet and buy her some proper maternity wear, or to be more precise, a tent.

A tent is brilliant as it hides All, and also provides shelter for passing wildlife. A floral tent is even better as it covers up foodstains which result from you using your tummy as a ledge on which to balance your mid-morning snack (full English, hot choc, washed down with a couple of doughnuts). Gosh I miss that ledge!

And once the baby arrives you can sell the tent on to the Armed Forces for camouflaging aircraft carriers.

Well that's my styling tip for 2011. Must go as Mr Blighty has launched into some DIY involving drilling holes in bits of wood which for some reason he has to do in the kitchen and I am really starting to regret that third glass of Sainsbury's Cava last night (Mrs B, the last of the party animals)...

I leave you with this list entitled Preparation for Parenthood. Someone gave it to me when I was expecting Boy 1. Up until the point he arrived I found it rather amusing. ( don't know who composed this, will of course attribute if anyone knows where it is from).