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Saturday, 15 January 2011

Day Out with the Big G

So the Boys finally went back to school after their epic holidays. The headmaster was a bit surprised when I dropped them off at 4am on the first morning but I wasn't taking any chances.

The house was horribly quiet. Spooky. Grandma (my mother, aka the Big G) and I decided to have a jaunt up to London, as we had cabin fever and needed a bit of Culcha (note to self: not a small town in southern Spain).

We chose the Courtauld Gallery at Somerset House, as the Big G had never been there before. We bravely took buses from the train station to get there. All went to plan except for sailing past the gallery and being carried off across Waterloo Bridge, the other side of the Thames. I had visions of us ending up in Peckham. (By the way, a well informed friend tells me that young Londoners now speak Jafaican, not Cockney; Grandma and I tried to get in the swing ("well sick innit") but really couldn't pull it off).

After our busnapping ordeal, we repaired to the gallery cafe for an restorative hot chocolate. For me the most important part of a museum is its cafe. You can only take Culcha so far.

I liked the teapots on display.

The Big G then forced me to stop admiring the teapots and go up to look at the pictures. I immediately lost focus and stared out the window at the ice rink. They have an ice rink every year around Christmas time.

In the gallery there was a lot of top stuff. Grandma and I agreed that Renoir is too chocolate boxy.

I have always liked this one.

This is one of Cezanne's Mont St Victoire pics. He always seemed to be painting that hill. I could see Mont SV from the window of my room when I was studying in Aix en Provence. But mainly I could see the caretaker's teenage daughter climbing over the fence to sneak off with her friends.

Here is a Blighty Elf and Safety Announcement: this is not the way to hold a baby. I don't care if it is the Baby Jesus, he could so easily roll off onto the floor. A huge bump on his head will stop his halo fitting properly.

On the way out I spotted this Tiffany pop up shop type thing. Grandma firmly steered me past it, lest I was tempted.

This reminds me of other important news. Mr B, who has been working like a dawg at his office drafting an important new law on supertax on confectionery for the under 5s has now managed to Get It Out and has reemerged from his office. I explained to the boys that the familiar looking chap wasn't the plumber, it was their father. They took it quite well.

Mr B, feeling guilty at his absence, suggested he make it up to me by taking me somewhere nice, somewhere I would really like, but warned me not to get too excited, it would not be the Rolex shop. Well, I thought, if not Rolex, maybe a little Hermes scarf or at least a little toddle round Selfridges? "Oooh Blighty", I sighed, "please tell! "

This was his answer - I am NOT making this up:
"Borehamwood Vehicle Licensing Office."

Who said romance was dead?


  1. True story with the halo bump! That could've been disasterous.
    LOVE the Tiffany pop up store. I can't believe you didn't force Big G in for a look around.
    Glad the romance is still burning strong, oh, and that the boys know who their father is after all. Maybe the trip to the vehicle licensing office is because he needs to register the zippy new sports car he just bought you? Perchance the Bugatti Veyron Fbg by Hermes? Google this car, the mind reels.

  2. Dear Mrs Blighty, Sadly, I think that Mr Blighty and Mr LiC are twins separated at birth. You simply must action your own expensive and very well deserved presents, wrap them and tell Mr B how generous and thoughtful he is. He must be quite wicked to have thought taking you to a vehicle licensing office was somewhere a mother who has been devotedly caring for his offspring for the Christmas holidays was a good idea! I do love a gallery or museum cafe - looking at things for extended periods is quite exhausting and requires long breaks. We have had no Culcha at all these holidays. After breakfast in a cafe today with my lovely sister-in-law, we are off to Luna Park to see how many death-defying rides we can go on...

  3. Blighty,

    Thanks for making my day a little brighter. I really enjoyed reading this post. The picture of the people ice skating (and the beautiful building behind them) is breath taking! I really adore your sense of humor.

  4. Dear L, thanks for the tip off about the Veyron Hermes car - Mr B loves cars and is now staring at the computer with a faraway look in his eyes. 1.55 million euros anyone?
    Dear Linda - good luck in Luna Park, are you brave? I am a total whimp, my boys are ashamed of me, I scream on the baby train rides even and cannot go on anything more exciting.. i like your advice re presents for self, very sound xx

  5. Yes, Culcha must be nourished in the tea rooms and cafes. You didn't go in the Tiffany box??? This is alarming to me. At least you still obey your mum.
    Our men are so romantic aren't they? I got some lovely travel books for Christmas but alas no plane tickets tucked within them.

  6. The Tiffany Box Shop looks like an excellent place to go to action Linda's advice re presents for self.

  7. He's either buying you a Harley, or he's er, well, that doesn't bare thinking about. He must be buying you a Harley.

  8. I love the photos! Relieved I am not the only one who thinks 'chocolate box' sometimes when looking at art.

    You never know, romance can be found in the most unlikely places... A little blue box hidden in the bushes perhaps?

    SSG xxx

    Sydney Shop Girl blog

  9. Hey Blights,
    I'm in Lunnon, and doing the real culcha - aka the LONDON BOAT SHOW.
    Which I will tell you ALL ABOUT tomorrow.
    Today, I ahve BOAT SHOW FLUE, and am allowed to stay home at the Hotel.
    The Boss has gone off to the BOAT SHOW alone, and I am celebrating by splurging on 6 pound an hour internet, an investment to log on to Blighty and FF, and maybe even post a blog of my own.
    That Renoir of the girl in the bar, good thing we aren't going there tomorrow, I did an assignment on it and could bore you senseless about some of the fascinating (NOT) features of that particular painting.
    eg - the mirror image of the bar girl is not actually a mirror image.
    the bar girl was making contact with a customer she intended to "dally" with after work, that's him in the reflection. the bar girl "dallying" was not considered "naughty dallying" that was done by the girls who hung out in the private boxes surrounding the entertainment floor
    god, there's so much more.

    See you tomorrow,

  10. Dear Julia I am so glad you liked this post, I am trying to get back into the swing of blogging!
    Dear Deb, yes even at my advanced age I do what my mum tells me but also revert to sulky teenage mode with her, sighing and eye rolling, tragic.
    Dear Farmer's Wife, cannot believe I failed to investigate Tiffany shop, I must have been emotionally drained after all that Culcha.
    Dear Legend, have just seen that Girl who Played with Fire film and at one point she rides a Harley and looks pretty damn cool, but I am worried my apron might get in the way; truth is Mr B has got Grandma's old car to drive to station each day and needs to do some sort of paperwork hence the siren call of Borehamwood Vehicle Licensing Centre...sad
    SSG - the only thing I am likely to find in the bushes round here is a football, probably deflated
    Louise - am v excited to meet you but pls don't bring any snaks or rats..sooo interesting about that pic, you are a fountain of knowledge! Hope Mr buys you a nice big yacht with crew and out for those Russian oligarchs!

  11. How very English to see all the lovely teapots displayed in the cafe. Agree on the merits of cafes in galleries. One needs a bracing cuppa and cake before/after filling ones head with loads of culcha.
    Very excited you are meeting Louise and as I just wrote on her blog I expect massive detail on what you girls got up to!

  12. Oh Janet, please don't encourage him! xx

  13. Anne-Marie - don't worry, I will tell All about Louise meet up, v exciting! I suspect cake may be involved.

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