Dahlings, watch this only if you have already watched Part 1..
Must go, have to talk to Shurley about bridal make up...
Blighty xxx
Monday, 30 April 2012
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Mrs Blighty - Make Up Guru
Dahlings, as you know, I hate to be left out.
I have been spending too much time hanging around make up blogs. With predictable results.
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Parental Concerns
Dahlings, I must admit to being a tad concerned about old Boy 2.
A few little things, nothing major...
At supper the other night, out of the blue Boy 2 asks "What does "shat" mean?"
I started well (once I had finished choking and had a soothing drink of Bucks finest tap water).
I told him it was a very bad word and he was not to use it.
But then my big mouth kicked in and I got all explain-y:
" "Shat" is actually the past participle of "shit" " says I.
Boy 2 considers this for a second and then says:
" So it's one that doesn't end in "ed"; in our English lessons Mrs Collyfleur is always asking us for examples of ones that don't end in "ed" ".
How long before I get a phone call from the school?
A few days later Boy 2 is sitting at breakfast.
He peers at this fruit loaf and I can see his lips move as he works out the lettering.
"IRISH BUMCRACK*!" pronounces Boy 2.
Excellent. Now he's going be writing in those "describe your Mummy" pieces at school that " My Mum likes bumcrack." I suppose it makes a change from " My Mummy likes shopping and wine. My Daddy works hard."
Finally Boy 2 and I have been much preoccupied over the Easter hols by his history homework, which was to write a diary of a Roman. Which as every mother kno', means I have been slaving away over a hot computer while Boy 2 skulks off and plays on his iPad in another room.
Unfortunately the homework coincided with my reading this rather racy poem/novel.
I heard it being discussed on old Radio 4 and thought I'd give it a go. It's very good, very clever, about an African girl in Roman London being married off to a rich Roman. Not suitable for a 9 year's Roman project though.
I managed to keep all orgies, whippings and vomiting at banquets out of Boy 2's Roman diary. But even then, the diary developed a life of its own. The writer, a rich merchant living in Rome, goes for a spin in his friend Marcus's new chariot. Then they go to the baths together where they engage in some weight-lifting and wrestling, before rubbing oil into their bodies...noooooo! The whole thing was looking slightly homo-erotic. I tried to redress the balance by suddenly giving the writer a wife, who just turned up from the country - but that made it even worse. Why was she at the villa while he was in Rome? Why had he not mentioned her before? Does she know about Marcus?
Actually, having just read all this, I think the person I should be worried about is me.
Grape anyone?
A few little things, nothing major...
At supper the other night, out of the blue Boy 2 asks "What does "shat" mean?"
I started well (once I had finished choking and had a soothing drink of Bucks finest tap water).
I told him it was a very bad word and he was not to use it.
But then my big mouth kicked in and I got all explain-y:
" "Shat" is actually the past participle of "shit" " says I.
Boy 2 considers this for a second and then says:
" So it's one that doesn't end in "ed"; in our English lessons Mrs Collyfleur is always asking us for examples of ones that don't end in "ed" ".
How long before I get a phone call from the school?
A few days later Boy 2 is sitting at breakfast.
He peers at this fruit loaf and I can see his lips move as he works out the lettering.
Excellent. Now he's going be writing in those "describe your Mummy" pieces at school that " My Mum likes bumcrack." I suppose it makes a change from " My Mummy likes shopping and wine. My Daddy works hard."
Finally Boy 2 and I have been much preoccupied over the Easter hols by his history homework, which was to write a diary of a Roman. Which as every mother kno', means I have been slaving away over a hot computer while Boy 2 skulks off and plays on his iPad in another room.
Unfortunately the homework coincided with my reading this rather racy poem/novel.
I heard it being discussed on old Radio 4 and thought I'd give it a go. It's very good, very clever, about an African girl in Roman London being married off to a rich Roman. Not suitable for a 9 year's Roman project though.
I managed to keep all orgies, whippings and vomiting at banquets out of Boy 2's Roman diary. But even then, the diary developed a life of its own. The writer, a rich merchant living in Rome, goes for a spin in his friend Marcus's new chariot. Then they go to the baths together where they engage in some weight-lifting and wrestling, before rubbing oil into their bodies...noooooo! The whole thing was looking slightly homo-erotic. I tried to redress the balance by suddenly giving the writer a wife, who just turned up from the country - but that made it even worse. Why was she at the villa while he was in Rome? Why had he not mentioned her before? Does she know about Marcus?
Actually, having just read all this, I think the person I should be worried about is me.
Grape anyone?
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Mrs B - On Trend
Dahlings, you know how old Victoria Beckham is always carrying that baby around -Harpo - like some sort of uber accessory? (actually I must admit I love that baby, such a gorgeous grumptious little face).
And you know how old Beyonce now has little Blu-Ray?
Well I don't like to be left out....
Yes, dahlings, my very own adorable Mini - Me...
Now, suggestions please for a name (not sure whether it's a boy or a girl, I don't want to force any gender stereotypes on my sensitive little poppet..)
The person who comes up with the best name* will get an EXCITING PRIZE which I haven't thought of yet but will probs be a nail varnish in a dodgy green colour or Colin the Cheese String (in fridge since 2009) and a couple of squashed mini choc eggs from under Boy 1's bed ..
By the way, while we are talking celebrity kids, do you know this?
http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/
hilarious...
*Rules: I will decide on winning name in totally capricious and unfair way; filthy names will get extra credit; my decision is final and my word law; competition open to all ; also I totally reserve the right, should I feel like it, to give the prize to my friend K who gave Boy 2 the Mini Blighty and who lives across the road so I would not have to queue up at the post office to send off the prize which could be a bit tiring...
And you know how old Beyonce now has little Blu-Ray?
Well I don't like to be left out....
Yes, dahlings, my very own adorable Mini - Me...
Now, suggestions please for a name (not sure whether it's a boy or a girl, I don't want to force any gender stereotypes on my sensitive little poppet..)
The person who comes up with the best name* will get an EXCITING PRIZE which I haven't thought of yet but will probs be a nail varnish in a dodgy green colour or Colin the Cheese String (in fridge since 2009) and a couple of squashed mini choc eggs from under Boy 1's bed ..
By the way, while we are talking celebrity kids, do you know this?
http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/
hilarious...
*Rules: I will decide on winning name in totally capricious and unfair way; filthy names will get extra credit; my decision is final and my word law; competition open to all ; also I totally reserve the right, should I feel like it, to give the prize to my friend K who gave Boy 2 the Mini Blighty and who lives across the road so I would not have to queue up at the post office to send off the prize which could be a bit tiring...
Saturday, 21 April 2012
The Easter Bunny Hops Off and Other News
Here is a visual of our Easter decorations.
Now here is the real picture.
Robo Rat came courtesy of Louise in Townsville - gee, thanks Louise!! Louise sent a huge box of things for the boys, including Robo Tarantula and 2 huge life like rubber snakes. The rubber snake had a not inconsiderable role in the school production of "Joseph and his Multi-Coloured Dreamcoat"** and now has its own Equity card.
We had fun over Easter - Lovely B and her daughter Lovely R and Lovely A came to stay for the Easter weekend. We did a little trip to Windsor, it was biting cold, there was a huge queue all the way down the street for the Castle. The Queen was at home as the Royal Standard flag thing was flying but she did not ask us in for a cuppa. One word: Republic.
Instead of taking a nice pic of the Castle for you all, I took a pic of a nearby clothes hire shop - it offers a free jacket with any kilt package. Of course I found the phrase "kilt package" very amusing. One thing about having the mental age of an 8 year old is one is rarely at a loss for a laugh..
The Easter hols continued long after the Easter weekend was over.
To keep myself sane I fell back on my tried and tested remedy of gritty detective novels.
Right, time for some more left over Easter egg.
*Dear Mrs Music Teacher, is it a good sign that after £300 of piano lessons (not that I am counting the cost or anything) Boy 2's only ambition is to play the Crazy Frog theme (what I know as the Beverly Hills cop music) as shown on YouTube?
** to make it more accessible to Daphne's parents it was re-titled "Joseph and his Missoni Knitware"
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
Seven Dials; Mrs Exeter; The Duke of Hazards
Dahlings, life has speeded up, we are yet again hurtling towards another school holiday. This means I am busy cramming in all the jaunts which the presence of boys would not permit.
I took a little trip up to London and paid a visit to the Miller Harris perfume shop near Covent Garden. It's actually in a part of town called Seven Dials, which makes me think of the Agatha Christie novel of that name; it sounds very 1930s...
Miller Harris is sold in various department stores including Liberty's; but dare I say, I don't find the perfume section of Liberty's very friendly, the assistants seem a bit tecky to me (unlike the lovely girls on the cosmetics counters there); I swear a perfume maven inhaled sharply the other day when I dared to place my mitts on a candle...and my mitts were clean, honest, I wasn't clutching a Crispy Creme at the time.
The Miller Harris shop by contrast was heaven, the assistant very friendly and very knowledgeable about the products. I had the best time spraying and sniffing and babbling away to the lovely girl there - hi Natalia, I have not forgotten how kind and helpful you were!
I could not choose there and then - really I felt spoilt for choice, I think the Miller Harris fragrances are ones which you cannot go wrong with, no matter what you choose, but I loved them all and just couldn't decide! I came away with lots of samples, which I am really enjoying - Terre de Bois; La Pluie; Tangerine Vert; La Fumee. Currently I am in love with Coeur de Fleur - a divinely soft, clean smell, very spring like, I keep nuzzling my arm, I find myself so delicious! ( I am trying not to do this too much when other people are around as it must look ever so slightly pervy). I also like the fact that Miller Harris is still an independent perfumer, unlike the Jo Malones and the L'Artisan Parfumeurs who are now owned by big cosmetic companies..) and the founder Lyn Harris is still very much hands on in the creation of the perfumes. Plus she trained as a perfumer in Grasse, France, and I once spent a summer there working as an au pair so you see Mr B it is really important I have a Miller Harris perfume to remind me of my distant youth (think he was called Pierre or maybe it was Bertrand???).....
Another big treat recently was to meet up with Mrs Exeter, whom many of you will know from her blog. Mrs E also lives in Buckinghamshire, not far from me, so we met up for coffee in a very pretty market town. We talked and talked and had a lovely time and then Mrs E had to go riding, as you do - how cool! In a clever decluttering move, Mrs E gave me a book on decluttering. Masterful!
Mrs E also gave me this nail polish.
It is called "Old Blighty".
How fitting! Thank you so much Mrs E.
We have plans to meet again for a trip to my spiritual home, Bicester Village.
The boys have of course been busy with various boy type activities. They certainly keep them busy at Daphnes4Boyz: Maths tests, French tests, cake competitions, Sports Relief charity run, football matches, Inter-House General Knowledge Quiz (won by Verruca but with Impetigo coming a close second), egg decorating competition, £5 challenge (otherwise known as extorting money out of your peers in return for bags of popcorn)...and then it's time for morning registration...
Mr B and I were very amused by Boy 2's recent trip to somewhere called Hazard Valley, some sort of interactive educational centre designed to teach children how to cope with various dangers.
Look at this picture. Can you all see what the issues are ? *answers below
Mr B found the numerous leaflets from the Coastguards which Boy 2 came home clutching very funny, considering we are the furthest you can possibly get from the sea anywhere in the UK! Possible case of print over-run in the Coastguard department? or do they know what bath time is like at Blighty HQ?
When I asked Boy 2 what had happened on the trip, his main feedback was that Justin A. Bucket had been sick on the coach on the way there and Max Chunder had thrown up on the coach on the way back, all over a teacher.
Conclusion: the main hazard facing a 9 year old is being blurped on during a school trip, so important to
a) identify; and
b) avoid sitting anywhere near;
the pukey kids at all times....
These are vital life skills, which will serve Boy 2 very well in later life.
Never underestimate the importance of school trips.
* the hazards are of course as follows:
** this blog of course does not advocate smoking for the under two's, though an occasional pipe can help them unwind
 |
| Interior of the Miller Harris shop at Seven Dials |
 |
| Cover of first UK edition, picture taken from Wikipedia |
Miller Harris is sold in various department stores including Liberty's; but dare I say, I don't find the perfume section of Liberty's very friendly, the assistants seem a bit tecky to me (unlike the lovely girls on the cosmetics counters there); I swear a perfume maven inhaled sharply the other day when I dared to place my mitts on a candle...and my mitts were clean, honest, I wasn't clutching a Crispy Creme at the time.
 |
| Gratuitous pic of spring fashions in Liberty's, just because.. |
 |
| Cire Trudon candles at Liberty - don't touch! |
 |
| The wallpaper is Miller Harris designed and can also be purchased |
 |
| Miller Harris perfume samples - divine! |
It is called "Old Blighty".
How fitting! Thank you so much Mrs E.
We have plans to meet again for a trip to my spiritual home, Bicester Village.
The boys have of course been busy with various boy type activities. They certainly keep them busy at Daphnes4Boyz: Maths tests, French tests, cake competitions, Sports Relief charity run, football matches, Inter-House General Knowledge Quiz (won by Verruca but with Impetigo coming a close second), egg decorating competition, £5 challenge (otherwise known as extorting money out of your peers in return for bags of popcorn)...and then it's time for morning registration...
Mr B and I were very amused by Boy 2's recent trip to somewhere called Hazard Valley, some sort of interactive educational centre designed to teach children how to cope with various dangers.
Look at this picture. Can you all see what the issues are ? *answers below
Mr B found the numerous leaflets from the Coastguards which Boy 2 came home clutching very funny, considering we are the furthest you can possibly get from the sea anywhere in the UK! Possible case of print over-run in the Coastguard department? or do they know what bath time is like at Blighty HQ?
When I asked Boy 2 what had happened on the trip, his main feedback was that Justin A. Bucket had been sick on the coach on the way there and Max Chunder had thrown up on the coach on the way back, all over a teacher.
Conclusion: the main hazard facing a 9 year old is being blurped on during a school trip, so important to
a) identify; and
b) avoid sitting anywhere near;
the pukey kids at all times....
These are vital life skills, which will serve Boy 2 very well in later life.
Never underestimate the importance of school trips.
* the hazards are of course as follows:
- that girl is wearing dangerously out of fashion 80s style gear, including Reebok type trainers and a scrunchie;
- the baby's nappy looks worryingly full, real risk of seepage situation and hazardous fumes;
- baby needs to remove dummy before taking a drag on the ciggy**
- is that red wine properly aerated - should it not be decanted?
** this blog of course does not advocate smoking for the under two's, though an occasional pipe can help them unwind
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Creating Problems
Dahlings, this is just a little experiment to see if I can compose posts on the old iPad as I continue to have technical issues with the computer - small boys attached to the mouse permanently, removal even by Taser proving unsuccessful (some nonsense about their Yuman Rights..)
Just the other day Boy 2 raised an interesting yet tricky question following a Religious Education lesson at Daphnes4Boyz: if God created only Adam and Eve, and they had children (Cain and Abel or is that just a novel by Jeffrey Archer?), then who did they erhave sex procreate with?? Of course being an open and liberal type of parent I simply shrieked "TIME FOR BED!" before the discussion took a turn I did not fancy..."But Mummy, it's only 5pm!"
But the question does trouble me. However, I think I have found a very clear and child friendly explanation.
WARNING: THIS IS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE AND ACTUALLY NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN AND APOLOGIES IF THIS OFFENDS YOU.
IT IS SOUTHPARK AFTER ALL.
On second thoughts, perhaps not.
Just the other day Boy 2 raised an interesting yet tricky question following a Religious Education lesson at Daphnes4Boyz: if God created only Adam and Eve, and they had children (Cain and Abel or is that just a novel by Jeffrey Archer?), then who did they er
On second thoughts, perhaps not.
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