Strange happenings

Zara top from their new on-line shop; mmmm, give me more frills ..

Strange goings on at Blighty HQ: bikes, noises from the garage, Boy 1's sudden interest in personal hygiene, long multiplication...I don't quite know where to start.

Last night as I sat tiredly at the computer clicking in a desultory manner at the new Zara online store I heard banging and then drilling.

(Actually Zara looks quite tempting, there are some nice lacy top arrangements but like a jaded roue at a brothel it takes a lot to get my interest these days:"no, no, sheep and dwarves, done that, so dull").

First I thought the noise was Boy 1 messing about when he should be asleep, in contravention of the strict no power tools in the bedroom policy. I was about to charge up there with my riot shield and baton, when I realised the noises were coming from the garage. Mr Blighty had embarked on an ambitious DIY project, involving sawing up the nasty 70s kitchen units plonked in the garage as storage by the previous owners. These are to be replaced by some very rugged metal racking, which arrived in a huge TNT lorry. I think there may be some male competitiveness thing going on: when we visited friends recently, the husband had installed the same racking and I perhaps overdid the admiring of this. With hindsight, dissolving into tears and describing it as the most beautiful thing I had ever seen was possibly a bit over the top. The other husband had also sustained manly injuries to his hands, which no doubt helped underline the macho nature of the endeavour.

Steady yourselves ladies: manly shelving units

In fairness, the garage project has been kickstarted by the Blighty family all getting bikes. For a while I have been thinking that Boy 1's bike is too small for him - something about his knees around his ears gave it away. Mr B carried out intensive research, I got into the swing and threw around terms like "disc brakes" and "hardtail" and we ended up with bikes with exciting names like Saracen and Rockhopper and the Lady Glide Plus - er, think I made that last one up .... We also have a fancy bike carrier thing for the back of the car called a Hollywood Fourway, which has been worth the money just for the times I have made jokes about Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz etc. It' very simple to use - just 28 straps, and you are ready to roll in 5 hours.

It is a long time since I have been on a bike and I must say it's nice to be mounted, er, on wheels, again. (When I was a baby lawyer about 100 years ago in a City law firm, a posh girl I worked with told me she had met a nice man at polo at the weekend and he was going to mount her next weekend; my word, these posh types don't mess about).

Only a couple more hours now boys and we'll have all the bikes on the back of the car..

So we have been having family bikes rides, which I love. If we go walking Boys 1 and 2 spend their time hanging on me, nagging for chocolate, and generally messing with my mind; with bikes they have to concentrate on peddling (and Boy 2 is completely obsessed with what gear he should be in, he asks at least every 40 seconds); also I can peddle off into the distance, should I feel the need to escape. Yay!

Boy 2 appears to have lost focus and instead is torturing a piece of grass

I feel it's important not to let things slide sartorially even on a bike ride, so I donned these jaunty trainers. I feel my fashion choice was validated when a tiny girl shouted to her mummy "That lady's got pink shoes!" The tiny girl was probably one of those very influential fashion bloggers, Tavi or Tibby or Timotei.

The Blightys are very much in the Zeitgeist, bicycle -wise. Look at these Boris* Bikes we saw a few weeks ago in London - to rent and drop off. *Boris Johnson, Major of London, larger than life character, keen on cycling, went to school and uni with Dave, lots of blonde hair.

Meanwhile Boy 1 has started having showers in the morning before school. Up till now, he has wallowed for hours each evening in the bath, playing with Lego, using gallons of hot water, very busy with all sorts of activities except actually washing. But now, showers - another sign he is growing up! He is also going to his first disco soon, at the school. And there will be girls there, from the nearby girls' schools. Frightening. Even more frightening is the dance moves I have seen him trying in the kitchen. I had no idea moonwalking was so physically demanding.

Lots is happening for Boy 1. He has also started fencing. Should a child who often falls off his chair when just sitting quietly on it, be allowed near those pointy stick things?

And we have already reached the stage where Boy 1's Maths homework is beyond my intellectual level. Mr Blighty came home yesterday to floods of tears, quivering, and cries of " I can't do it" and " I am a complete failure".

"What on earth is wrong with Mummy?", Mr B asked Boy 1. "She tried to help me with my squared numbers and got all upset, poor Mummy, I think she needs to go to bed" said Boy 1, wisely.

Strange times.