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Saturday, 18 September 2010

Exciting times

Quick post today, as the excitement here at Blighty HQ is overwhelming.

Boy 2 has his first (tag) rugby match this afternoon so we are all turning out to watch. The boys got their bespoke custom fitted mouthguards yesterday so (if my earlier experience of Boy 1 and his peers is typical) they will spend most of the match standing around fiddling with said guards and lisping unintelligibly to each other, and all with profuse amounts of spit. The actual game will be very much a secondary event.

And I will be in state of angst that bespoke custom fitted mouthguard will get lost in depths of changing rooms and I will have to take out another loan to replace it.

For the price I expect it to come in a blue Tiffany's box

Further excitement as Mr Blighty has decided to buy a leaf blower thingie. He has been on the phone since early this morning grilling various garden equipment suppliers - the keywords seem to be "Stihl" "Blow" "Vac" "Shred" "Leafmaster Supreme Hero Deluxe" "The Green Commander Overlord"; you can get ones with just blow, or for an extra £30 you get ones that blow and suck and have an extra nozzle. How super! But why can't he just use my Parlux hairdryer? And what if the children get sucked up into it? Actually, what a great idea, I could market this as a toddler control tool! Mr B approves of expenditure on Important Manly Equipment, as opposed to fripperies like food and washing powder.

Meanwhile I have been getting up to speed with religious issues, in case the Pope drops by in the course of his UK visit - to chat, one spiritual leader to another. Say what you like about the Catholic Church, they sure know how to accessorise. Lovely use of gold and red and purple too.

Grandma Whacker ( my muvver) took me to see these films when I was a young Blighty ( a Blightling?) and I loved them, I was very into Tudors and Henry VIII ( a ruthless despotic wife killer is always such a great role model for children). I particularly loved these films as they featured heroines wearing lovely dresses who got their heads chopped off. Weird. Perhaps this explains my retail therapy followed by guilt/punishment issues??
I was particularly struck by the bit in Mary Queen of Scots where Lord Darnley is ill in bed with the pox and then gets murdered. I did think it was a bit sad he had chicken pox and his Mummy wasn't there putting on calamine lotion.

Finally, as if all this activity was not enough, I am off to clean the kitchen window. It's actually a beautiful autumn day here, not foggy after all (that' s just the window).

STOP PRESS: Mr B has returned triumphant bearing new leafblower. What a beauty. That should keep him busy.


  1. Ahh mouthguards and orthodontic plates. Been down that road. Problem is what the hell do you do with them when no longer required?
    It's not exactly a donation the thrift shop would be happy to receive.
    Love all these old historical movies and I do remember poor Lord Darnley (the actor Timothy Dalton played him I think? he was also James Bond for 5 minutes). Henry had some serious issues didn't he?
    Mr B will love his leaf blower, all blokes do.

  2. Dear Anne-Marie, do you think there is a huge mouthguard mountain somewhere? Maybe I could re-fashion them into " like totally rad pendants". yes it was Timothy Dalton, looking v weird with dyed blonde hair. Darnley was nasty! i enjoy Richard Burton as Henry, there are some wry jokes about divorce in the film (he was probably on at least marriage number 2 to Miss Taylor at the time).

  3. Mouthguards - been there and done that and am pleased to report that number one (only) son managed to achieve adult-hood with all his teeth intact despite playing rugby at school, and club. Sad about his shoulder though!

  4. Not up to the mouth guard stage as we are a soccer mob. Should I be doing mouthguards? Maybe I should be? Oh no, bad mother. Don't you love the testosterone fuelled titles of those leaf blowers: Supreme Hero Deluxe" "The Green Commander Overlord"... everything has to sound 'man-ly' doesn't it. Go for it Mr B! A-M xx

  5. Your leaf blower is bigger and fancier than mine- jealous!

    Am sitting here at 7 am Sunday morning waitng for an emergency plumber to arrive and feeling fear and anxiety about the prohibitive after hours call out service charge. Goddamn you Faulty Plumbing Apparatus to Hell.

  6. Aah mouthguards, rugby-obsessed son number 2 has his own mini-mountain somewhere. Could rock the pendant idea over here! Son is now also wearing a brace, which twangs and creaks ominously whenever guard is removed, intimating necessity for extra appointments at the orthodontists to re-fix wires etc. Great.

    Are you a strong-hearted rugby mum? I am total failure, actually cannot watch due to crippling fear of potential neck/head injuries to son number 2, so go and have coffee in town with only daughter to distract. For shame.

    Delighted to have discovered your blog, and having 3 sons, totally relate to your son-based dilemmas! In-car tablemanners pep-talks on way to parents-in-laws a speciality in our family!!

  7. Hello Blighty,

    Big day indeed with the mouthguards and school sport.

    I have often wondered if orange peel slices make good substitutes for lost mouthguards. They are both economical and environmentally responsible. Not to mention brightly coloured.

    SSG xxx

  8. Takes me back seeing that mouth guard thingy - bespoke and all!! Ridiculous prices if I remember all too rightly! Love Mr B's new piece of equipment - mind where he's wielding it though!! x

  9. Dear Mrs Blighty, I remember watching Anne of A Thousand Days when I was in boarding school in country Australia. The movies used to arrive by train and come in big reels. We sat in the school hall (which was very drafty) with crocheted rugs over our knees in our pjs and dressing gowns. I wept buckets in this movie. The Glenda Jackson one was a killer too. I think it was these movies that got me interested in the Tudors - I read everything I could get my hands on about them at that time. It is always useful to know the order of all the wives (rather that where one put the car keys) isn't it?. Have you ever seen the arresting painting of Jane Grey's execution by Paul Delaroche? I saw it at the National Art Gallery in London. Simply stunning.

  10. Elegance - oh no, the shoulder! Gulp! such a nasty rough game!
    A-M - it seems you don't need mouthguards for soccer, unless you mean that wild Aussie rules game?? soccer requires shin pads and showy goal scoring celebrations, apparently; it's all a mystery to me, quite frankly, i was cheering on the wrong side yesterday at one point!!!
    Belinda, welcome! at the moment it's just taking tags off eachother and then they have to pass the ball on, no contact/tackling, scrums,rucks etc; my older son told me he was buried under 8 boys the other day in rugby, so in future he will just avoid ever getting the ball (one of his mates has achieved legendary status by managing never to touch the ball in 3 years of rugby, quite an achievement). How old are your sons?
    SSG - yes, I agree, I remember larking about in Home Economics (cookery) at school with an orange slice in my mouth. It was mean of my friends not to warn me the cookery mistress was right behind me. Boy2 hates fruit though..
    Semi Expat - Mr B is thrilled with his new equipment but has been warned he can only use it in the garden
    Linda - yes, I was like that too! I read a lot of Jean Plaidy, do you remember her, bodice ripping type novels, I particularly remember "The Royal Road to Fotheringay" (Mary Queen of Scots) and "The King's Pleasure" (Catherine of Aragon), absolutely hilarious; I am amused by the current succes of whatshername that wrote "The other Boleyn Girl" - had to read it for a book group and took me back to Jean Plaidy!! i know the painting of Lady Jane Grey - I love the National Gallery, not least as it's free and has loads of top stuff! The Delacroche pic was on a children's trail I forced my boys to do to get some culcha - blood and gore and monsters being of interest, rather than pretty flowers and landscapes and kittens.
    Dear FF - what does the size of Mr B's blower tell us about Mr B I wonder? My sympathy on the plumbing crisis, hope it gets sorted soon and without causing a run on the Australian dollar; I have wild extravagant fantasies about plumbers - they arrive at my house, strip to the waist, open their tool boxes and fix my plumbing, and when i ask how much, they say it's free! Phew, hot stuff or what? At least one of my boys is going to plumbing college, someone in the family has got to be able to buy a Porsche and holiday in the Caribbean.

  11. Hello Blighty, I finished the essay! The story of why I had to write the essay and why I avoided it so effectively - well I don't want to bore your readers. The punchline is - however - that it was an essay about essay writing. But my degree is Archaeology!
    Didn't go play with the lego when I finished it, as I have two more essays due in a week - so I engaged evasive tactics and bought the Kitty Kelly book about Oprah - see comment about it on FF.
    If you'd like the ridiculous (and typically ditzy-me) story about the essay let me know and I'll email you. (OR NOT - if you have enough garbage to contend with!)
    By the way, One Leaf Blower = One Hermes Scarf.
    Louise xx

  12. Dear Lousie, hurrah the essay is done, well done you, I feel quite relieved and it wasn't even my essay crisis. Yes, I want full details, I am unbelievably nosey! Good point about the blower = scarf.

  13. Brilliant! yeah I was wondering what the point of the Catholic church was and then you hit the nail on the head - their accesories rock!! Thanks for making me laugh

  14. Doesn't Richard Burton look like Brian Blessed in that picture? Most odd.
    I have been lucky enough not to need expensive orthodontistry so far (and at 40++ I'm hoping I won't, accidents excepted). Isn't a rainbow mouthguard sending out the wrong signals in a macho sport like rugby?

  15. Hi EmmaK, glad it didn't offend you!
    Lucy Fishwife - welcome! Everybody go check out Lucy's blog, a very funny mix of humour, literature and boutique perfumes, a winning combo!

  16. Hi B. I put my email address in last post, drop me an email, and I'll give you the ridiculous essay story. (I PROMISE not to enclose any snake photos - especially the one with the rat inside it). Sorry I stressed you about the essay.
    Louise xxx


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