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Thursday, 9 September 2010


Wonder what size these are?

Today Boys 1 and 2 went back to school. And earlier this week Mr B went back to the Big House (as I have now decided to refer to his work; watch out for Mean Hal, Mr B, don't agree to be his special friend !)

Stressful times, getting those boys ready, the amount of kit required is quite something (cycle clips - check; purple leotard - check; power tools - check..) and it all has to be LABELLED CLEARLY, preferably with their name (666 does not give the right message). I am not good at sewing, I wonder how Boy 1 will get on at rugby with my jeans sewn onto his rugby top. Note to self: do not watch telly while doing labels, process takes 5 hours for one label and final product shoddy.

The whole school outfitting effort turned into some sort of Maths problem, the type which regularly reduced me to tears of frustration at age 14:

  • Boy 1's rugby shorts are slightly small for him (not threatening his chances of ever reproducing too small, just too short too be cool, apparently)
  • Boy 2 needs rugby shorts
  • The 6 pairs of shorts bought over the internet for Boy 2 are all too big for him and too small for Boy 1
  • Boy 1's rugby shorts are slightly too big for Boy 1 (they do not fall down during test runs in the house but if another boy grabs them during rugby, they could come down, possibly bringing Boy 2's underpants down with them)
  • The school shop was open on Tues, not Wed as you thought, so too late to buy shorts from there
Calculate the risk of the shorts coming down, and years of fees to therapist for Boy 2, versus the cost of buying new shorts and the cost of Boy 1 not looking cool.

Also work out how long it will take to fill a barrel with water if the cubic capacity of the barrel is 3500 cubic thingies and the water flows at a rate of 2.5 whatsits per minute when the train goes into the tunnel. You may use those baffling sine and cosine tables, the purpose of which you will spent the rest of your life wondering about.

You have 20 minutes. For Chrissakes do not show your workings, it's bad enough having to mark this drivel anyway and I'd like to get a round of golf in sometime.

Oh arse! I'll just shove Boy 2 in Boy 1's shorts and tell him to run really fast and make sure no one tags him. Or maybe some Superglue...

Wonder what size these are?


  1. Oh Blighty it's so good to have you back in blogland. I felt you must have drifted out to sea. With hypothermia.
    I certainly do not for one little minute, miss the stress of getting kids back to school with all the accompanying paraphernalia.

  2. Blighty! Welcome back! Yes, the back-to-school business, very stressful. Hope that Mr. B's cousin's house is still standing, and that you are all in good standing with her! (When our boys were small, we were invited to a wedding out of town. We stayed at a hotel, but went the next morning to visit friends. At the wedding, the husband (childless) had said, 'oh, you could have stayed with us.' When we saw the house, it was filled with so much stuff(who puts precious paintings on tiny gold easels on the floor??) that we were so glad we had taken the hotel.)

  3. hi blighty,

    well well, you def sound rested and back on your game. i have missed your wicked wit so much. how is it that 3 boys roughtly all the same size know when a sock is not theirs and refuse to put it on? how?


    welcome home

  4. Dear Mrs Blighty, YOU ARE BACK! I missed you but figured you would have been up to your eyeballs in the back-to-school runaround - I loved the complex mental equations you were running through. I had to do many trips to the school which was stressful enough as I was learning to drive again on the wrong side of the road and pretty well every road in Santiago goes one way which is not your way and sometimes it goes one way in the morning and the other way the rest of the day (!?!)and then we had just got a manual car again... At the school shop, I had to communicate with lovely school shop ladies who spoke not a word of English at a time when my Spanish was less than rudimentary. Still, my children did not look any more odd than another one else's on the first day which is in March which is about all one can hope for. Today is the last day of term and then we are off to the Atacama Desert for a road holiday (imagine me gazing out of window at breathtaking landscape while Mr LiC swears at the GPS and the children in the back wonder if we are there yet...)

  5. Hi Blighty!
    Welcome back...I see that you are in fine form despite all the mayhem and label sewing fiascos.
    Back to school routines are definitely a shock after the holidays.
    I myself am back in the school library and finding retirement looking far more desirable than it has in the past!

  6. I've missed you! So glad you're back and hilarious as per usual!
    Enjoy the peace during the daytime!

  7. Dear ladies, so nice to hear from you all again. Janet, I owe you an apology, i accidentally deleted one of your recent comments on my blog, I was trying to approve it in the car on my phone, serves me right for trying to be all techno clever (I hasten to add I was not driving at the time)

  8. welcome back, I got so sick of staring at Diana Mitford/Guinness/Moseley on my side bar. Well done with getting the kids to school. Niee FF started at her school the other day, no tears etc. Check out the comments on my blog from Louise- a snake tried to attack her dog and when it was killed (the snake not dog) it had a rat in its belly- all my nightmares rolled into one. xxxx


  10. Hello Blighty welcome back.
    You post bought back memories of sewing labels on socks *shudders* and ballet ribbons on shoes.
    My daughter's dance teacher took pity on me and used to do the ribbons because the blood stains on the satin were'nt very ballerina like.
    By the end of my children's schooling I just wrote in black pen their names on bits and bobs or paid ridiculous amounts of money to people to embroider their names on the 'spensive stuff.
    And don't get me started on the 'iron on' labels. Obviously a cruel joke by some person wanting to raise the hopes of mothers and then crush them.

  11. Helllooooo Blighty!!!!

    Welcome back. Lovely to hear from you again.

    SSG xxx

  12. You're back Blighty! Am giggling again!

  13. you make me laugh out loud!

  14. Dear Ali, thank you, you are very kind!

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