Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
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Tuesday, 12 March 2013

The Meaning of Life and Other Big Questions

Dahlings, how are you all?  I do hope you don't think I have just been sitting around reading detective novels and eating salt and vinegar crisps, pausing now and again to shout at Boys 1 and 2 to do their homework...

No, I have been pondering Life's Big Questions:

Why is there a man in our street who wears shorts all the time, all through the winter, even in this Arctic, Beast from the East, weather?

Does washing one's hair in water-softened water cause terrible damage to one's highlights?

And finally,  why can't I remember the other Big Question?

This is a sort of visual of Mysterious Shorts Wearing Man.  This is of course not him, it's just some pics from the internetz  but I wanted to give you something to work with.



His shorts are smart casual and he pairs them with a smart jacket but they are not warm enough for this weather, and he also has leather deck shoes without socks.

I see him every morning walking along our street, in the direction of town. Is he off to London by train?  And why the shorts?   I am dying to stop and ask him but Boys 1 and 2 have very wisely forbidden it, their theory is that he wears shorts as he is a Serial Killer and does not want to get blood on the bottom of long trousers.

My theory is he has HOT PARTS and needs to get the air to them, otherwise they will spontaneously combust.  Or maybe he has read those newspaper articles about modern man's sperm count falling due to too tight underpants and central heating and so is on a mission single-handedly (?) to  re-populate the world. If anyone local reads this and a) knows the answer, please put me out of my misery; and/or b) is married to, or a friend of, or otherwise related or connected to, this chap, may I just say what a splendid idea the shorts wearing is and I really did not mean it about the serial killing, the hot parts, the spontaneous combustion or the sperm production/repopulation....

As regards the hair issue, every now and then I go to the hairdressers and get a mini-science lecture on how water softeners make the water bad for hair with highlights (at this point the colourist usually gloomily says she can smell the water softener chemicals on my hair and describes the terrible fizzing noise of the chemicals stopping the highlights taking properly).  The colourist then proceeds to advise me to stick my head under the kitchen cold tap (the only tap where unsoftened water available) and buy some special ££££ shampoo to de-tox my hair. It is quite frankly exhausting, I want to read Hello! mag and chat about my hols, I do not want to grapple with cutting edge scientific conundrums like black holes and highlight maintenance.  Does anyone out there have a view on this?  ( Please back up your view with a doctoral thesis or at least the Ladybird book of chemistry).

Tin Foil Highlights

As for the third Big Question, it was really good, but for the life of me....


  1. I'm with the boys on this one. As my shorts only come on at the end of April, I'm not so much a cereal killer as a cereal hater. As for the hair, someone keeps tinting it grey and it is all falling out. When I find out who is doing it, I', where was I?
    PS, left a message for you on my last post.

  2. That pic looks like a guy I saw in Paris last September. I can't help you with the big questions except that I can't colour my hair anymore. I don't go out now.

  3. This is a topic that's close to my heart... Best wishes! Exactly where are your contact details though?

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  5. Love this post...
    Shorts in winter a bit odd I must admit....
    and I can agree rather stay with my lioness mane and my Brazilian hairdresser reading all the gossips, trends, mode magazines I must confess I read only when I go there that wash my hair with tap water in the kitchen... alone and in funny positions....
    Mr R doesn't know that in my inner soul LOVE TO READ THOSE KIND OF NO INTELLECTUAL MAGAZINES!!! Outside this cocoon world I read The Economist, Private eye (funny but not when I am with my hairdresser talking girls things)canard enchainée, Monde Diplomatique, etc, etc.
    Thanks for your post you make my day.... And TGIF!!! need it...
    Muaks, (big Kiss)

    PS: hate to be annoymous but I do not know how to show my email or name... BUHHH

  6. Love your posts, you are just the wittiest woman! Is Grandma Whacker still protesting parking violations? Perhaps other historical figures may be spotted buried below, Richard 3 being an economy-boosting trendsetter, and all. Things to watch for whilst protesting . . .

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