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Saturday, 16 April 2011

Barcelona offers hope for Moana, and some Important Advice

I underwent a bit of a style transformation while in Barcelona, I really wanted to catch that contemporary Spanish vibe
Dahlings, still quite not up to speed, what with the unpacking of suitcases and putting Boys 1 and 2 in the washing machine...

In the meantime, I have encouraging news for Moana.

Whaddya mean, who is Moana?  Come on people, stay with it! Moana is the latest alter ego of Louise of InTownsville, my blogosphere soulmate and partner in crime  really dodgy jokes.

  I met Louise in Real Life a few months ago - you can read about the meeting of the Superpowers here.

Thanks to the evil cyclone Yasi, Louise broke her back.  Since then, due to terrible pain, Lou sometimes transforms into Moana, very understandably. 

Lou and I have been joking about getting her a new back somehow....

So,  look what I found in a small restaurant/bar in Barcelona on our first day:

Item 3:  Back with Egg and Chips. 

Lou,  the Back is on its way to you, but I am afraid Boy 1 ate the egg and chips.

(I would like to apologise to Janet of Gardener's Cottage and any other vegetarians/vegans for the extremely carnivorous nature of this menu; I think perhaps the translation is a bit over-enthusiastic.... )

Now, you know how I like to perform a public service role in this blog (I guess I am just sooo pro-active and caring).  Well, I am able to pass on some Important Advice we received on arrival from our receptionist at Juan Towel Hotel.  The receptionist handed us a piece of paper warning us about the danger of pickpockets in Barcelona - the paper listed various scenarios such as:

  • if someone tell you in street that you have stain on your clothes do not stop, they will steal   from you
  • if someone tell you something is wrong with your car do not stop, they will steal from you
  • if someone is playing a game of dice do not play, they will steal from you
  • if someone approaches you in the street, run away screaming, it will be Boys 1 and  2 whining for more ice creams
  • if you want to be robbed in broad daylight go to the Barcelona football team stadium Camp Nou and hand over your credit card plus remaining Euros in  the gift shop
Gift shop at Camp Nou, background noise is Mrs B weeping into her wallet
Camp Nou stadium
In Barcelona they speak Catalan which to me seems like a mix of French and Spanish...this is the Barcelona club motto: More Than A Club (damn right it is, it's also a brilliant vehicle for the sale of nylon T shirts at extortionate prices...the concentration of man made fibres in that gift shop surely contravenes Elf and Safety rules on fire hazards)

Having rendered us pleasantly neurotic, the receptionist then came out with her coup de grace:
"Is no good putting rucksack in your backside!"  Those fiendish pickpockets will stop at nothing ...

So there you have it, the most useful piece of advice I can pass on to other travellers.

It will only make your eyes water anyway.

You can thank me later.


  1. Hysterically funny, as usual ; cheered up my evening ! (how sad is that ? !!!).

  2. I'm laughing out loud (as usual) and reading this to my hubby. Sore bums!

  3. hi blighty,

    steak of calf? brutal.

    poor louise, i feel so bad for her as if been in her shoes before. hopefully time will help.

    our friends just got back from barcelona and they were indeed robbed on the street in the daytime. they were in a taxi when a man approached the car window asking for directions, of course they rolled the window down and his accomplice opened the other side door and swiped her handbag. yay barcelona!


  4. Ha - so funny!
    I bet you were clutching your handbag feverishly the whole time.
    The rucksack tip is hilarious!

  5. I shall file all of that away in my useless and uselesser file in case of sudden unexpected travel to the nylon capital of Europe.

  6. Blighty - if it's any consolation, motor-sport fan nick-nackery is just as expensive as footballing stuff.

    Pick pockets are not always street urchins with dice and dodgy glances, they can also be football clubs.

    Need to go and investigate Moana and her pampered pooch again!

    Ali x

  7. God, please tell me how soon I can get that back. Do you think that it would be appropriate on my blog to confess that I have 3 dear friends who mix in other cultural circles -and I've asked them if they see any of the criminal types that deal in selling organs and body parts - to ask if they can procure spines. Let me know if you think it appropriate and I will give full details.

    So Barcelona is full of thieves, gosh where did you stash the Blighty Credit Card?

    Most importantly:-
    How do you get rucksack up your bum? I have many mental pictures happening, but cannot work out how it's done.

    Loved the red dress, but how did your face change so much? It looks so different to normal - was it some new spanish make up?

  8. The last time i was in Barthelona, I saw a menu offering Squits Romana style. Refreshingly honest I thought.

  9. Dear Mrs Blighty, Your Barcelona look is very fetching - I would never have recognised you. How exciting to have a minibreak - it sounds like something on television! Is a minibreak like a longweekend? I always enjoy in-house translations into English. When Mr LiC used to visit obscure parts of the world, he would regale me with some wonderfully unappetising menu items, my favourites being from a Chinese restaurant: fried aborigine and saliva chicken. While one hopes that the first was in fact eggplant, Mr LiC was never brave enough even to make enquiries about the second. Still worried about how to comply with rucksack imperative, Lindaxxx

  10. Hi Linda, please send recipe for Saliva Chicken immediately, we are all getting tired of my old standard Dettol Chicken and need to shake things up a bit; I love the term "mini break' ever since reading it in Bridget Jones - she is always fantasising about having a boyfriend and going on mini breaks.. it is just such a super naff phrase!! xxx

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