Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Sunday 17 October 2010

Email to the Headmaster






Dear Headmaster

I am sorry to bother you during your well-earned half term break - the two and half weeks of term have just flown by and what a lot you have packed in!

But I felt I must bring to your attention serious concerns I have about the kind of education your well-endowed institution is giving our boys.

I attach a picture of a piece of work Blighty Minor brought home recently.




Upon studying this picture I was shocked to see that Blighty Minor was not being given the classical education which I had so hoped would be provided.

At first glance the presence of the word "Hermes" is very reassuring. But on closer perusal one can clearly see a picture of some Greek chap with winged feet. What is the world coming to?


I do not want my son's head filled with this wishywashy modern nonsense! I expect Hermes to be taught in the context of a leading luxury consumer goods company with an annual turnover of around one billion Euros; I wish my son to know that this company is responsible for some of the most covetable and iconic brands. I don't expect at this stage that he would be taught the history of the Carre or how to tie a scarf, but he should at least be made familiar with the Kelly Bag, Birkin Bag and the Jumping Boot. How else is he to make his way in this world of ours?


I hope you will take my views under consideration.

Kind Regards

Bledwina Blighty

P.S. May I just say, the new helipad is looking splendid and congratulations on the opening of the Beckham Aromatherapy Suite? I was disappointed to hear planning permission was turned down for the nuclear processing facility, but the new plans for the Happy Holidays Kennels and Kids Hotel ( "Go Away Knowing All Your Little Beasts Are Happy in a High Security Environment") are little short of genius.

P.P.S. So sorry about the misunderstanding over the "Bring your toys to school day"; I had no idea that the Blightys Major and Minor had brought those contraptions to school; I do hope Mrs Rumpington is back at work soon, the A&E chaps told me they sometimes find bolas injuries take a while to get over. I know dear Mrs R will be sorely missed in the Ballet and Metal Work Department.






44 comments:

  1. hey blighty,

    you are the best. thanks for making me smile broadly this morning.

    ~janet

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Janet, hope you are well, here it's dangerously close to supper/animal feeding time..Mr B has just advised me I will get sued by Hermes for Everything Infringement.. Free the Hermes One!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you for making me repeat out loud, several times, Oh My God. Oh My God. Luckily no one else is around.

    ReplyDelete
  4. your posts are such a tonic...
    before your blog has finished loading on my laptop I have a smile, in anticipation of what I have become accustomed to expecting...which is sheer and utter amusement.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear LPC, I hope that is a good thing; Mr B utters this when he opens our bank statement and in this case it is never good
    Dear Hostess - thank you, what a lovely comment

    May I just say I have the nicest commenters, I really do ! I appreciate all your comments, they are quality! thanks Bx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Blighty, You've got style and I dare say Blighty Major and Minor will soon be following in your footsteps!

    Jeanne :))

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear Mrs Blighty, I don't know what I did with my life before I found you and the other very lovely blogging ladies. I have to confess that you are all a Very Bad Influence on me as when I was briefly at the Paris airport today enroute to Amman (more work) I had to go and have a look at the Hermes duty free shop and then I had to work out what the scarves were in US dollars. I will now have to do some mad calculations and see how far my travel allowance will go and whether I will get one on my return home. Do you think that a Hermes scarf can be counted an 'incidental'?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Jeanne, thank you!
    Dear Linda, you are such a jetsetter, did you like my reference to bolas? Very Latin American, in your honour!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your little boy could join the Divine Maitai and become a sort of Junior Brand Ambassador for Hermes!!!

    Niece FF is already one for Chanel (carries Mummy's bags, wears Chanel Fearls etc) so they could be twins! xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dearest Blighty...

    I have received your care instructions but sans Blighty Minors... I found Mr B's dinner in my parcel too- it looked delish but smelt bad. Can I send this back or shall I chuck it? I don't want Mr B to go hungry xx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Blighty, I have just arrived home after a few days away and have laughed myself silly at the last two posts!! Genius!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello Blighty
    Returning home from holidays is extra sweet when I know my funny bone is sure to be tickled catching up on your posts!
    Swaying adds to the effect (sailing adventure you understand. Transition from sea to land leaves residual feelings of rocking).
    You are thoroughly mad. I love it.
    Probably because I am too.
    xx
    Ps. Top marks to Boy 2 for correctly spelling Hermes.

    ReplyDelete
  13. B!.. It's Mr B's fault that the boys are not up to speed with the REAL Hermes. If he had only bought you the scarf, the handbag, probably even the boots, years ago, then your boys would have already been home-schooled on the CLASSICS before school managed to get it all confused.
    Love
    Louise
    Even Arnie Boyle (chihuahua aged 2 yrs and 6 months) knows that Hermes is an accessory, not someone up in the sky chasing the cockatoos.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Almost forgot..
    If Boys 1 & 2 love snakes do they like sharks too?
    We enjoyed (?) the company of three reef sharks circling the boat for several hours one evening.
    Apparently these darlings are harmless to humans but will get up close and personal to investigate. Hmmmm
    And one should wear an all-in-one stinger suit to prevent being stung by deadly stingers while swimming. These outfits are most becoming.
    Don't these creature tales from Queensland make you want to visit us Blighty?
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. What a great email to the Headmaster. I despair over the kinds of things they teach our children nowadays. Nothing useful, that's for certain1 Thanks for taking up the cause on behalf of so many under-educated kiddies!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Blighty you are the best - you always make me laugh! Please will you publish HM's reply back to you too? X

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dear Mrs Blighty, Your post was very educational as I had no idea what bolas were. However, thanks to the illustrations on Wikipedia, I now fully understand why the image of The Blightys Major and Minor wielding these weapons of destruction would make any self-respecting headmaster go all cat's bum.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dear FF, if I were the lovely Niece FF's Mummy, I would not let those horrid Blighty boys near her - their grasp of personal hygiene is shaky and their conversation lavatorial

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dear Sophie, I did send the boys but package got stopped at Customs, some nonsense about not being allowed to send livestock or rodents in the post; please contact your local Fire Dept about disposal of hazardous matter (Mr B's dinner)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Dear Patricia, you are very kind, but are you sure you are ok, most people want to go away for a long time after reading my posts..

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dear Louise, you are so right, it is Mr B's fault, he will be so thrilled when I tell him and suggest he buy me a Hermes item asap..

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear Anne-Marie, super jealous of your sailing, though can't complain, this morning boys woke me by bouncing on the bed which gave the same ocean-going sensation, and all without the expense of leaving home. The sharks sound fab, and I will buy a stinger suit immediately, I like to be prepared and the local swimming pool is a hazardous place, though do they protect one from toddler wee? probably not

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear Kitty-Cat, thank goodness someone else out there understands the seriousness of the situation, I feel less lonely in my important educational crusade

    ReplyDelete
  24. Dear SE, no reply from HM yet, rumour has it he is at his holiday home on Mustique

    ReplyDelete
  25. Dear Linda, i thought bolas would make a nice change from tasers and cattle prods? What does "go all cat's bum" mean? it's the sort of phrase I need to use a lot, partic in parents' evenings

    ReplyDelete
  26. Dear Mrs Blighty, "To go all cat's bum" is to express disapproval mainly through the pursing of lips. It is a perfect expression for parents' evenings to describe the inevitable disapproval of other parents and some teachers to whatever is being discussed or proposed. I would, however, refrain from telling anyone except Mr B and maybe your mum that they themselves were going all cat's bum. It may seem very impertinent otherwise...

    ReplyDelete
  27. It's impossible to go all cat's bum while reading your posts. Great expression, which I shall put to good use. Sitting here looking very Cheshire cat.
    I think I must have been at the girls' school run by HM - didn't get a classical education but had a good time!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I гeally like your blοg.. very nice colorѕ & themе.
    Did you maκe this ωebsitе yourself
    or diԁ you hire ѕomeone tο do it for you?

    Plz rеѕρond as I'm looking to create my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thanks

    My site ... Payday Loan
    My webpage: Pay Day Loans

    ReplyDelete
  29. This design is incredible! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost.
    ..HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really enjoyed what you had to
    say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

    my web site: gymnastics clothing for women

    ReplyDelete
  30. Woah! I'm really digging the template/theme of this blog. It's simple, yet
    effective. A lot of times it's hard to get that "perfect balance" between superb usability and visual appearance. I must say you have done a amazing job with this. Additionally, the blog loads very fast for me on Internet explorer. Outstanding Blog!

    Look into my weblog short term apartment rental new york

    ReplyDelete
  31. Do you have a spam problem on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation;
    we have created some nice methods and we are looking to exchange solutions with other folks, be sure to shoot
    me an email if interested.

    my web page ... Highland Park furnace parts

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hiya, I'm new to running a blog and internet sites in general and was wanting to know how you got the "www" included in your domain name? I see your domain, "http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5419860268577817026&postID=8302213161717092170" has the www and my web address looks like, "http://mydomain.com". Do you know how I can alter this? I'm using Wordpress platform.

    Thanks

    Here is my web-site ... goodman gas furnace

    ReplyDelete
  33. I'm not sure why but this site is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end? I'll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.


    Look at my web site: furnace troubleshooting fix
    Also see my website > furnace brands air conditioning

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hi there just wanted to give you a brief heads up and
    let you know a few of the images aren't loading correctly. I'm not
    sure why but I think its a linking issue.

    I've tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same outcome.

    Also visit my blog furnace repair cost
    Also see my web page: furnace brands air conditioning

    ReplyDelete
  35. Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and
    I'm impressed! Very helpful info particularly the last part :) I care for such info much. I was looking for this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

    Take a look at my web-site - top 10 web hosting companies

    ReplyDelete
  36. Doh! I was domain name searching at namecheap.

    com and went to type in the domain name: http://www.
    blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5419860268577817026&postID=8302213161717092170 and guess who already
    had it? You did! haha j/k. I was about to buy this domain name but noticed it was taken
    so I thought I'd come check it out. Awesome blog!

    Have a look at my web site - home repair calculator

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'm not sure why but this site is loading very slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my end? I'll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.


    Here is my web site: www.youtube.com

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm wondering which blogging platform you're using? I'm new to running a blog and have been thinking about using the Wordpress platform. Do you think this is a good foundation to start with? I would be really grateful if I could ask you some questions through e-mail so I can learn a bit more prior to getting started. When you have some free time, please make sure to contact me at: ross_strange@yahoo.de. Thankyou

    Feel free to surf to my blog - home window repair san diego

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hiya. I was considering adding a backlink back to your site
    since both of our websites are centered around the same subject.
    Would you prefer I link to you using your website address:
    http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5419860268577817026&postID=8302213161717092170 or website title: Blogger: Blighty.
    Be sure to let me know at your earliest convenience.
    Kudos

    Feel free to visit my web blog: abbooks.info
    Also see my web site: women's gymnastics clothes

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hi would you mind letting me know which webhost you're working with? I've loaded your blog in 3 different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most.
    Can you recommend a good internet hosting provider at a reasonable price?
    Thanks, I appreciate it!

    my site :: jsl studio shoes

    ReplyDelete
  41. I got this wеbsite from my pal who informеd
    me abоut this web sіte and now thiѕ time I
    am visiting this wеb ѕite and rеading very infoгmatіve aгticles or revіews here.


    My homepage :: best rates for loans

    ReplyDelete
  42. Greetings! Quick question that's entirely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My web site looks weird when viewing from my iphone. I'm trying to find a theme
    or plugin that might be able to correct this problem. If
    you have any suggestions, please share. Many thanks!

    Review my page activewear plus size clothes
    my website > nike workout clothes men

    ReplyDelete
  43. Does your website have a contact page? I'm having a tough time locating it but, I'd like to send
    you an email. I've got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it improve over time.

    Here is my blog: nike running clothes for kids

    ReplyDelete
  44. Howdy! I just noticed your webpage: Blogger: Blighty when I was browsing delicious.

    com. It looks as though someone liked your site so
    much they decided to bookmark it. I'll definitely be returning here more often.

    Here is my website: activewear for petites

    ReplyDelete

My post is all Norma No Mates, cheer her up by commenting!