Time Management Blighty Style

Now the boyz are back at school I have from about 8.30am to 4pm each weekday to Achieve Stuff and perform Housewifely Duties. ( Still no news yet on my Nobel Prize for Housework, some Peruvian chap got one for literature and he had only written about 35 books and plays, I have definitely vaccuum-cleaned more times than that, well, if you count next year's Spring cleaning).

Today I knew I had to be back at the school earlier though to watch Boy 2 play rugby. Last night we were treated to a mini-drama of performance anxiety along the lines of "no, no, I don't want to play rugby, please Mummy, no, no, no." That Peruvian chap should write a play about that. By this morning the mini-drama had resolved itself into "Mum, am I captain?"

So I thought I would share with you my time management skills in a deadline type situation - or as Linda in Chile has told me these management types say" Delivering deliverables in a restricted bandwith scenario".

Step 1

Return from school drop off, make toast, switch on iron, put vaccuum cleaner ready in hall

Step 2

Switch on computer, check emails, then spend 30 mins searching for a nail polish blog you think you saw the other day; in doing so check out 19 other polish blogs; spend 30 mins looking at Miss Kitty Cat's lovely bloggie which you have only just discovered and which is fab - shoes, dresses, more shoes, hotels, shoes, handbags, and did I mention the shoes, to die for?! Post lots of comments on her blog in manner of creepy stalker

http://misskitty-catgoestotown.blogspot.com/

Step 3

Call from Mr Blighty - have you seen email about important parents evening? Er, no. Mentally chastise yourself for bad mothering etc, search for email, realise you have not seen it as email so cluttered up with junk; strangely spam folder full of stuff you actually want to get like lovely picture from Louise ( a very nice, funny lady who faithfully comments on my blog - hi ya Louise!)

Spend 45 mins deleting, un-junking, junking and generally techno faffing

Step 4

Realise with horror that it is now 11 am and toast uneaten; scurry off to kitchen, falling over vaccuum cleaner on the way (who the bl**dy hell left that there!!%$$***)

Step 5

Consume cold toast, put tea in microwave for reheating

Step 6

Realise with horror that have left iron on upstairs; start ironing frantically

Step 7

Return to computer where for reasons not clear to yourself spend time looking at day spa treatments in swish upmarket health/golf club and wondering whether you should book in for the pre-wedding package (had no idea I was getting married, life is full of surprises)

Step 8

Return to earth, realise with horror that kitchen bin is less than fragrant, frantically action bin renewal operation (=empty the bin), fall over vaccuum cleaner again.

Step 9

Decide to Go Out as nice weather and need to return library books and take recycling mountain to recycling centre; place books and recycling in hallway

Step 10

Pick up car keys, then find yourself upstairs vaccuuming madly, dusting, humming etc

Step 11

Bring vaccuum cleaner downstairs, fall over recycling

Step 12

Now 1pm; must Push On; arrive at library and have nice relaxed chat with librarian about her nail polish ( "Nail polish bringing people together"); then spend 25 mins wondering whether you need to see important film about Afghan goatherders or whether a romcom might be more fun

Step 14 ( there is no step 13 as I don't hold with silly superstitions)

Arrive back at home about 1.35pm. Realise need to leave for rugby match at 2.15pm. Decide now a good time to make cup cakes, eat lunch and paint fingernails (green to match cardigan).

Step 15

2.20pm - bl**dy hell what moron decided to paint their nails, there is green polish everywhere but on actual nails

2.25pm - bl**dy hell what moron put these cakes in the oven, they are not cooked but need to go to rugby; cannot put on oven gloves due to nail polish not being dry

Step 16

2.35pm Arrive at rugby, note that at least 5 matches are going on, cannot tell which one Boy 2 is in. Find team, start cheering enthusiastically, realise that this is not Boy 2's team.

Find Boy 2's team, just in time to see Boy 2 leave pitch as he has been substituted off..

Step 17

Return home with Boys 1 and 2; find cold cup of tea in microwave

Of course, you can't all expect to achieve this level of time management immediately, it has taken me years to perfect this technique..