I am sorry to bother you during your well-earned half term break - the two and half weeks of term have just flown by and what a lot you have packed in!
But I felt I must bring to your attention serious concerns I have about the kind of education your well-endowed institution is giving our boys.
I attach a picture of a piece of work Blighty Minor brought home recently.
Upon studying this picture I was shocked to see that Blighty Minor was not being given the classical education which I had so hoped would be provided.
At first glance the presence of the word "Hermes" is very reassuring. But on closer perusal one can clearly see a picture of some Greek chap with winged feet. What is the world coming to?
I do not want my son's head filled with this wishywashy modern nonsense! I expect Hermes to be taught in the context of a leading luxury consumer goods company with an annual turnover of around one billion Euros; I wish my son to know that this company is responsible for some of the most covetable and iconic brands. I don't expect at this stage that he would be taught the history of the Carre or how to tie a scarf, but he should at least be made familiar with the Kelly Bag, Birkin Bag and the Jumping Boot. How else is he to make his way in this world of ours?
I hope you will take my views under consideration.
P.S. May I just say, the new helipad is looking splendid and congratulations on the opening of the Beckham Aromatherapy Suite? I was disappointed to hear planning permission was turned down for the nuclear processing facility, but the new plans for the Happy Holidays Kennels and Kids Hotel ( "Go Away Knowing All Your Little Beasts Are Happy in a High Security Environment") are little short of genius.
P.P.S. So sorry about the misunderstanding over the "Bring your toys to school day"; I had no idea that the Blightys Major and Minor had brought those contraptions to school; I do hope Mrs Rumpington is back at work soon, the A&E chaps told me they sometimes find bolas injuries take a while to get over. I know dear Mrs R will be sorely missed in the Ballet and Metal Work Department.