Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

What was I thinking?

What planet was I on when I bought this bread? (on-line)



It's dollshouse size, Nutella toast this morning took ages - had to do about 138 pieces per boy.


And why did I think Monty dog wanted to watch  breakfast TV?  Why did I put the TV on specially for him and leave him in front of Lorraine's Brazilian Bikini Diet special?  Dog very sensibly took himself off and ate a box of tissues instead.  To be honest, after watching 2 minutes of the Diet Special, I was ready to eat a box of Kleenex too.

Why did I order this? (on-line)


It's memory foam, my idea was to increase the comfort levels of Monty Dog's crate.



But somewhow I got enough to carpet the Albert Hall. 
What was I thinking??




And now the darn stuff won't "remember" how to get itself back in its bag, trust me to get memory foam with amnesia.


And finally, these tragic fashion jeans?  WHAT WAS I THINKING??? (on-line)




I blame all those fashion blogs but really, the clue is in the brand name - Forever 21 not Forever 50 almost 51.




I think I can rationalise all this epic sadness by pointing to my lack of prowess with numbers....

Bread 400g? nope, means nothing to me.
Memory foam  X metres x Y metres - no, not a clue
Forever 21 - refers to mental age surely?

Even the dog despairs of me. 




14 comments:

  1. Hello,
    Well, numbers may not be your Mastermind specialist subject but there are bound to be other strengths.....one just has to look......hard!

    After all, you do seem to be an amazing multi tasker. There is nobody else springs to my mind that can make 138 x number of boys Nutella toast whilst considering the dog's welfare, interior decorating a cage and keeping abreast of the latest teen fashions. Superwoman comes to mind.....

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    1. Thank you Hattatts for your very kind and charitable comment! And tomorrow it all starts again with the flipping toast...unless i put Boys 1 and 2 on the Brazilian Bikini Diet, then they can eat Kleenex with the dog...

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  2. Hello

    I love your blog and your very talented humorous writings. I found you from reading Faux Fucshias blog when you posted previously and am delighted you have started up the blog again. I am not a "registered" follower of any blogs so to speak but enjoy reading quite a number of talented writers each day.
    Please keep up your blog as it is a great delight.
    FF (my initials - not the awesome Faux Fuschia - have nothing at all in common with her magnitude (more the pity))

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    Replies
    1. Thank you FF for such a lovely comment and for taking the time to make it, your kind words really started my day off with a smile xx

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  3. Oh you make me laugh!!! Are those "boyfriend" jeans? I too have succumbed to the alures of the boyfriend Jean. I caught sight of myself from behind whilst wearing them the other day. Was like a sagging elephant arse. Boo.

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    1. Hi there SlapdashMama (you sound like a girl after my own heart), yes I think they are boyfriend jeans, the problem is I see beautifull young girls wearing them in fashion blogs, probably with those Louboutins and a Hermes belt and my poor old befuddled premenopausal brain thinks, yes, I want to look like that....have come to conclusion those things only work if you are long limbed, 5 ft 9, wear high heels, are in Milan for Fashion Week and are photographed by The Sartorialist...I cannot achieve any of those !! Shocking I know!

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  4. As our boys have left home, and we are always trying to lose weight, that bread should be labelled 'for elderly dieters' or some such. Totally inappropriate when boys to be fed. One of our two consumed almost an entire packet of wheatmeal biscuits every day after school.... The internet made me order some cute ankle boots. Don't fit, look silly on me, going back to where they came from, pronto.

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    Replies
    1. Wheatmeal biscuits sound healthy though, mine chomp crisps. The internet is a wicked place, sorry to hear about the ankle boot disappointment, you will feel much better once you have dispatched them back to whence they came xx

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  5. Dear Mrs Blighty, I sympathise. I too have had oops moments when opening boxes from things ordered (at that time from catalogues). Even now, I have to get the ruler and cup measure out to be sure what I think I want! Lovely photo of the puppy in despair. I hope he enjoys the memory foam pillow — my daughters have been wanting these for some time. love Lindaxxx

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  6. We should petition for All Words All The Time;).

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    1. Yes I totally agree, and also Extra Words like Are You Sure You Want this Bread It's Really Tiny? and Forever TWENTY ONE website, please put in your Date of Birth, banned for over Fifties

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  7. In your absense, I had forgotten not to eat or drink hot tea while reading your blog * scrapes remnants of breakfast off screen and table cloth*.
    Memory foam with amnesia LOL

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    1. Excellent result! That is why I blog.

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  8. Oh gosh, my kids love white bread and actually that is my guilty pleasure with butter and marmalade - I would have it over cake any day. You are organised doing shopping online, I have to get with the programme and action that.

    Ps the white bread in the UK is much better than the white bread in the US and the dollhouse quality makes it even quaintier!

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