Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
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Wednesday, 11 January 2012

In Which I Get A Dog

Calm down Grandma Whacker, it's not quite what you think!

Funny how things go.

Today is the first day back to school after Xmas for Boys 1 and 2, finally.

But don't feel too sorry for them, they are on half term soon (give it a couple of days max)...

So this morning the house is quiet.  Too quiet.

But I start doing Useful and Pro-Active Tasks like reading the Daily Mail celeb gossip like attempting meal planning (day 1  - spag bol, day 2 -  chille con carne, day 3 -  what else can I do with mince? day 4 -  zzzzzzz) and making the Shopping List From Hell (go to supermarket, buy entire contents of supermarket, get home, unload entire contents of supermarket, find have forgotten  mince).

The doorbell rings - it is my neighbour. "Do you know anything about this dog?" she asks, indicating an incredibly cute, sandy-coated scallywag (ok, you guessed, I have n't a clue what breed he is).  Who gambols into house and  runs around a bit. I chase after him, retrieve him, and say "No".

My neighbour is late for an appointment so I offer to take him in.

I close the door.  I look at the dog.  The dog looks at me, and then rolls over to have his tummy tickled. He knows a soft touch when he sees it.

I inspect his collar and see he is called Alfie and ring the accompanying mobile number.  I am not cool in a crisis and this is not even a crisis - I get in a terrible muddle trying to get my glasses on, read the mobile number and stop Alfie play biting my hands.  I  leave a breathless, flustered message...

Alfie and I look at each other a bit more.  I am not sure what to do with dogs - should I offer him a cup of tea? Would he like to do the crossword?

Alfie then makes a joyous break for it up the stairs.

I retrieve him.

 He goes into the kitchen, jumps on the sofa and gets excited about the dog he can see in the big mirror. And then launches himself up the stairs again.

It reallys speaks volumes. I have only just met Alfie and he is already behaving as naughtily as Boys 1 and 2.  Children and animals just know...

Finally I work out the best thing to do is to contain Alfie in the study, which is where we are now. He has now gone to sleep, just like a worn out toddler.

And hurrah - his owner rings up and tells me her au pair is on the way to collect him.  He has escaped by digging a hole under the gate..I suppose he just fancied some company.

She tells me not to worry about puddles, he is past that stage.

So I won't mention to her the yellow patch on the rug...
Alfie really enjoyed my amusing anecdote about what I once said to the double glazing salesman....


  1. What a great post! You and Alfie did make me chuckle :-) The only way you can look at this is to count yourself lucky that he spent a short while with you!
    Well done you.

  2. Oh Alfie is really cute - I don't know what breed he is either, but you need to get one!

  3. Oh that is so sweet. I bet he likes mince too.

  4. One of our chickens escaped a few weeks ago and made her way into the house. I get lost in this edifice, so the chicken had no chance of being found. She gave the game away by making contented little clucking noises and I found her making a nest in Mrs legend's PJs which were on the floor by the bed (where else). Mr Blighty had a narrow escape.

  5. Good fun Blights, hope the stain comes out!
    Nuvver Blighty, South Coast x

  6. Alfie is gorgeous, boys 1 and 2 will be so disappointed they missed meeting him!

  7. This story is gorgeous Blights.
    In the not too distant future shall we be reading about a new addition at Blighty headquarters?
    Don't you just adore the cheeky grin Alfie's giving you perched on the step.He looked right at home dahling..

  8. That is one cute dog! I have my hands full trying to contain the baby I can't imagine dealing with the added drama of someone with fur and a tail xxx

  9. Love it!! Dogs are awesome but like FF I have my hands full with the baby at the moment. Can't even consider it. But Alfie seems so cute!

    K xx

  10. Dear Mrs Blighty, He looks like exactly the sort of dog that belongs with a family with two small boys. I think he would have appreciated mince but may have wondered what to do with the cup of tea and the cryptic. Do you think with some training and luck, he could become a second Gromit ie start making you cups of tea? Mince and children are made for each other - cottage pie, tacos and Aussie meat pies always receive cries of approbation whereas tofu stir fry never does. I wonder why? love Lindaxxx

  11. Oh my God, only 2 hours of stuffing around and I've remembered how to do this - sort of!
    So, the dog, can you swap him for 2 boys?
    If you've gotten used to having a cute blond boy around the house, can I suggest a 12 year old Golden Retriever, beautifully behaved and mannered - all the way from Townsville?

    Oh, hello Blighty!
    Hello LiC.

  12. A much needed laugh, thank you :)

  13. Every home needs a dog or two I say, even if just for a visit. He looked sweet. Don't be put off by the bounding puppy phase: our dog's only lasted 10 or so years. Then she died. We still miss her!


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