Thursday, 22 December 2011
Christmas Almost Here And Other Worries
Here is an action shot of Boy 1 decorating the tree (Boy 2 had already bunked off, bored with this interior decoration nonsense cutting into his Wii football game time).
You know how dear Faux Fuchsia holds that "Nothing says legal advice like pink tinsel" which is the most beautiful and profound statement ever to grace the internet, in my humble opinion...
Well, to me, "Nothing says Christmas like a sozzled fairy lashed to a Christmas tree": meet Esmeralda, fairy, former good time girl (I can't confirm or deny those rumours that she at one time dated Warren Beatty) and moderate dipsomaniac (sherry mainly). She is a family character and as old as .....oh never mind..
Here are some more tree shots. The decoration by Boys 1 and 2 was initially enthusiastic then a bit slapdash....small boys don't bother with the hooks and loops to hang stuff from branches, they basically throw items at the tree and see what sticks...
In other news my Maternal Bosom (junior size) swelleth with pride. The other night at supper Grandma Whacker (again in residence for Christmas riot control) mentioned that according to the Daily Mail (right wing rag which regularly froths at the mouth over political correctness gone mad) children were now banned from making the star shape with their hands when singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little B list Celebrity" as the star shape in signing for the hearing impaired means lady er parts..
Quick as a flash Boy 1 starts doing some very authentic looking signing...where has he learnt this? What a talented child!
Boy 2 is laughing like an unblocked drain.
In fact, Boy 2 is laughing just a bit too much.
"What does that mean? Is that real signing?" I ask.
Through fits of giggles Boy 2 explains that Boy 1 has just spelt out "Go Forth and Multiply!"
"You see, Mummy, X (name of adorable, shy, butter wouldn't melt little friend ) showed us how to do it ages ago."
Cue Maternal Bosom deflation.
In another worrying development, I was very taken with a most pleasant Christmas song I heard on the car radio yesterday - you know the type of thing, some one's nuts roasting over an open fire etc..what a very nice voice that chap has, I thought to myself....
THE HORROR! It was none other than Justin Bieber!
I am now a Belieber, the oldest Belieber in the world...
Please don't tell anyone....