Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Sunday, 17 July 2011


You know you're in trouble when....

.... you watch Black Swan on DVD and you then find yourself skipping about the kitchen, pointing your toes, and humming that music (Tum, tum  ti tum ti tum, ti tum, ti tum, ti tum ti tum ti tum..) and shouting, " I'm a prima ballerina and I'm absolutely bonkers..."

and you are growing feathers and stuff...

(you also know you are in trouble when you spend time trying to fashion a tutu out of paper tissue for a small stuffed animal...)

..............small boys dress up  Mad for a school charity thing and you can't tell the difference from their normal off duty attire..

.... you find a card to send Louise of InTownsville (Louise has just had a big operation on her back, wishing you Up and About soon Louise) and you are convinced this card is just the thing, telling yourself it depicts, left to right, you, Linda in Chile and Louise (you have a very jolly email playgroup going with these two ladies), and you are able completely to overlook the fact that it is, ahem, quite some time, since you were school girls... start your holiday packing* and put in 4 towels and an educational game which no one will play and then your suitcase is full and you are so done with packing and need a cup of tea... reinstate the Wii which has been banned for 6 months and now Boy 2 has his mitts clasped to the controls EVEN WHEN IT IS NOT ON...

.....Mr Blighty discovers an ant infestation in the cupboard and spends the weekend in there dealing with it...

(by the way, those red boots do not have anyone in them, despite appearances - I have not, for example, been overcome by the sight of my spouse being all manly and fainted....they do look odd though...)

......................this is the scene after you have, in a weak moment, bought Boy 1 a new grip for his cricket bat*; and he has come home and ripped the old one off, and you hear wailing and after 10 minutes of panting and puffing you realise it is impossible to get the new grip on...

*why the bl**dy hell did they not warn me in the shop, do I look like the sort of woman who knows what she is doing? Of course not!
   If only I had paid attention to those saucy articles in Cosmopolitan about how to . .....never mind..with your, that's enough

This particular spot of bother was resolved by a visit to yet another sports shop, it turns out you need a wooden thing to roll the new grip onto, inside out and then you roll it onto the bat....*

* Some of you really have filthy minds.  I like that.


  1. Okay Blighty, that's enough of that kind of talk! I really thought the wicked witch of the west was wearing those red boots.
    Don't all children dress that way???

  2. i know i say this over and over are so funny. you just crack me the hell up.


  3. i've not laughed so much all day... brilliant.xx

  4. Blights,
    I can't wait for the card, and I think the three of us look exactly the same as the card depicts - perhaps you need your glasses prescription checked.
    I thought there was a person in the red boots before I read further to find out there wasn't - so snap!
    I also thought a very filthy thought about the correct method to apply a tubular rubber thing to a long stiff piece of wood. I definitely think you need two long pieces of stiff wood to get the correct application.
    Eat plenty of calamari and drink lots of ouzo for me

  5. I was laughing at the thought of mr B getting all Terminator in the cupboard but i fell apart when I saw the red boots. Classic!

  6. Your boys should have a style blog - I like how they're rocking Mr B's (I hope not fave) ties.

    As for that card, that's exactly how I see myself in my mind. What horrible shocks when I see a mirror or photo - inside, I'm still in the 3rd form.

    Good luck with your packing. xxx

  7. I just about passed out with laughter at that picture of The Red Boots with mr Blighty dealing with the Infestation. What were you infested by - shoe elves?!

    You find yourself making a tutu for a small stuffed toy. I find myself today buying cake to celebrate (belatedly) Kevin, the pain au chocolate''s birthday. He still doesn't look a day over 3. No mould. No moisture at all actually now.

    Buy pointe shoes and tapes - live that dream Blighty!!!!

    Ali x

    PS - Best *BEST* wishes to Louise and hope that she feels much better soon!!!

  8. I love the concept of an email playgroup - can I get imaginary children and join?

  9. Ah, Blighty!!! Those boots did undo me, as well. I am not ashamed to admit that I thought you were in them, and confused as to why you would lounge about in such close proximity to ants... Actually, we have been having an ant problem as well this week. It's a sign, like a plague of locusts!!!

  10. Dear Mrs Blighty, I think your comments thingy has quite an appetite - it just ate my comment! Being in trouble constantly has its benefits - one always knows where one is! The boys look as if they enjoyed putting together their outfits. But are you telling me that Mr B doesn't wear striped ties in conservative colours, a white shirt and a dark suit to work every day as one of the ties the boys is wearing is almost lurid! The placement of the red boots was brilliant - it did look as if it might have come from an English murder mystery TV series. I can only wonder what the young man (they are always young men) in the sports shop thought when you related your tussle with the grip! love Lindaxx


  11. You know it will be a bad day when you get caught talking to your chickens about your job prospects. My reputation for sanity is a bit dodgy round these parts anyway.
    One of my mother's friends gave me a whole stash of the 3 Marys when I was about 6. Says it all really.

  12. Dear Mrs Blighty, Come back - we miss you! love Lindaxxx


  13. Oh, nice post.)) Love your blog!!!.))))))

    I need your help ... Soon I am flying to Greece and I will have a two-day shopping in Athens .. You were there ever? If yes, what places you advise?

  14. LMAO :-)
    Dianne (your newest Welsh follower)

  15. Dear Mary Mur, sorry I do not know anything about shopping in Athens, 100yrs ago when I worked I used to end up in the Athens Hilton - nice view of the traffic - and then the office, no shopping opps at all..hope you have a nice time there, down by the harbour they have nice fish restaurants xx
    Dear Yonks, hello there, thank you for becoming a follower, you are very welcome xx


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