Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
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Monday, 4 July 2011

Medallion (Wo)Man

Necklace from TopShop

Dahlings, how are you?  Here I am modelling my new lionhead medallion, so very 1980s Versace. Grandma Whacker, who is a Leo, is after it.  But I really think you have to be a deranged marsupial to carry off this look.

This post has been brought to you through considerable adversity. In the middle of a vital step in the artistic process (eating crisps while prodding at the computer keys), the phone rang;
"Hello" says I.
"Hello" says a male voice.
"Hello" says I again (I am good at this kind of sparkling repartee).
"I'm phoning about your steam rally" says the voice.
"Er, I think you must have the wrong number, I don't think I am having a steam fact I'm not."
(At this point I have the almost overwhelming urge to go "WooWoo" and make puffing noises but manage not to).
The caller seemed very unconvinced, as though he thought I was holding out on him and really did have some sidings and a nice steam engine hidden away in the garden, but reluctantly he agreed to go away..

During this telephonic interlude Boy 1 has been poking at the computer and has lost all the uploaded photos.

Boy 1 is now in a Witness Protection Programme ....

MD Formulations - when I used to go for facials at Harrods during an ealier, pre-children skincare phase, they were very keen on this's got some sort of alpha-hydroxy whatnots in it that resurface and fill potholes

In other news I am having a Skincare Moment.  They happen occasionally.  So I have purchased this attractively named Adult Anti-Blemish Kit.  It could be worse, they could have called it "Spots and Wrinkles Aren't You The Lucky One?"  What a loss I am to the marketing profession!

There are a lot of lotions and potions to apply and lots of steps and instructions.  And numbering and cross-referencing. I am starting to wonder if I clicked on the wrong item and popped the Build Your Own Large Hadron Collider into my internet shopping basket by mistake.

Oh well.  At least I can tell Mr B hand on heart that there is no way I can rejoin the world of work as I am busy full-time with my skincare regime...

Now, just look at this Leopardy Goodness! Yum!  When I took my decluttering into the local charity shop these winked at me - they are from TopShop and for only £8 it would be a crime not to.

I do seem to be getting more and more leopardy; if I buy a leopardy sofa and rig myself up in all my leopardy items, I would be completely camouflaged...and could read novels undetected by others at Blighty HQ..
I always take great comfort in Faux Fuchsia's maxim: leopard print is a neutral

This last photo is Shocking.  Faux Fuchsia and her followers may wish to prepare themselves emotionally (copyright FF 2010/11).  My Parlux has just spluttered into non-existence.  It is an ex- Parlux etc etc.  Here it lies in the garage, waiting to go to the Big Hair Salon in the Sky.  I have a bad track record with hairdryers.  Perhaps using them to blowtorch the creme brulees was a mistake.

Must go now dahlings.  I have some shunting to do.


  1. Oh no! Is Mr B hectoring you to go back to WORK?

  2. Dear Debs, no he isn't but I like to have ammunition just in case!!

  3. well you can't work now that the blowdrier died.


  4. oh no! Your poor hair dryer. My sympathies. I can only hope that your new leopard booties help soften the emotional pain

  5. Good job finding those leopard booties. Aren't skin care products ridiculous in regimen and cost these days? Maybe we should go back to old school skin care, the way my mother did it, and slather generous globs of Pond's cold cream on our faces each night before retiring - cheap and fast (but how does one sleep with all that gunk on?)

  6. in my shed, i have 3 x hair dryers "waiting" to go to the big salon in the sky.

    (i once questioned her, why couldn't they just go straight there, simply to be told, 'don't be stupid')

  7. Dear Mrs Blighty, I thought your camouflage idea was beyond brilliant. It requires patenting ASAP! Oh, the bliss of lying undisturbed on a couch! Except, have you considered the real and present danger of being jumped on by one's progeny? I love the promise in an unopened box of expensive cosmetics - I hope that your skin does too and starts behaving itself. I send you my deepest condolences about the sad loss of your Parlux. Hopefully, it is still within its warranty period. Oh and please remember how much you missed Boy 1 last week and call off the contract. love Lindaxxx

  8. If you're being nudged back to work, wanna do swappsies? I'll be your stay at home nanny and you take over my job.....I'll even take care of Granma Whacker and I promise to never lock her in a car. (I'm still trying to figure that one out)

  9. Hellooooo Blighty,
    How does your hair dry these days?
    Do you have a pair of leopard leggings to wear with those new boots.
    If you do, you could add a skimpy black lace top, your lion's head medallion, bleach your hair VERY blonde, ensure your nails have a chipped black manicure - then hit the night spots in Sydney and blend right in!
    Cheeky aren't I?
    New back on Monday, getting excited.
    Am thinking perhaps a leopard print pair of implants might just be the go, will ring surgeon first thing in the morning.

  10. Leopard print is totally a neutral.
    (and to answer your question, yes, it's my real name) x

  11. Hello, Blighty! I was worried perhaps you had combusted your hair dryer while vanquishing nits...

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