Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
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Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Not What I Was Expecting

Dahlings, sorry to have been AWOL but have been rather busy of late...

Was chatting to Faux Fuchsia by email yesterday and she asked me how I was feeling about THE Wedding (George Clooney,Venice).

And I have to say -

I am really a bit disappointed.

I did think there would be more glamour....

But no, since the wedding  my life seems to have continued just as before,  a glamour free zone.

Since becoming Mrs George Clooney I have had to deal with:


complaining to the council about drainage issues

broken household appliances (dishwasher, central heating, landline telephone)

naughty dog


naughty children

"I am NOT doing my stoopid Maths homework so there!"

And George has been no help at all - he just stands around waving and looking impossibly handsome and grinning for the cameras

Finally we got Kimberley the Dog Whisperer in.  Apparently we have been doing it ALL WRONG...

she told us to put the dog in a crate
the children in a boarding school
the dishwasher in the dump
and to send old George back to Hollywood, because quite frankly he wasn't pulling his weight around the house....

I may have got it a bit muddled as have been getting calls from the council about 2 feral children found watching TV in the electricals skip at the dump, but George has already been made head boy at Harrow and Monty Dog has taken Hollywood by storm with his eerily lifelike portrayal of a werewolf...

Meanwhile I can be found drinking pints of cider with Kimberley at the Pig and Whippet..

P.S. A big hello to Charlie and Me who very kindly asked if I was ok during my latest Blog Silence, that was very sweet of you, thank you.


  1. Relieved to hear you are fine but really your circumstances are dire...floods, dogs behaving badly and (gulp) no TV!
    Keep calm and continue blogging.

  2. And your boy has quite the adorable impish face! Sorry for your bog-dom, hope all is resolved soon.

  3. I read today George is running for President. Maybe you can leave behind all the floods and broken electrics and move to Washington?
    Hope the Council is getting On To It, and peace is restored soonish.

  4. I have been wallowing around in something that resembles your drains this last year, feeling very sorry for myself. I know now what I have been missing. Your regular flights of reality. I feel good enough now to peel a grape or two.

  5. The Pig and Whippet...great name!
    Wise words from Kimberley.


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