Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Sunday, 13 July 2014

Monty Dog and the Prize Paw Draw

How the heck did I get up here?

Dahlings, sorry I had a bit of a hiatus there (but don't worry, I can get it seen to on the National Health).

Grandma Whacker has been to stay.
Everyone is impressed when I tell them she drives herself from the Cotswolds to our house (resolutely all the way in the middle lane of the motorway I suspect).  They say things like, " Wow, that's brilliant, at her age," and "Let me know when she is travelling so I can take a different route."  All joking aside, she really is an excellent driver.

Unlike her daughter - today Mr B was washing the car and took me on a trip down memory lane: "This is where you scraped against the scaffolding lorry" and "This is where you hit the skip. "  To be honest I could not remember half of the alleged bumps, but hey, good times, people, good times...   I had a lot to contend with back in our London days, what with the constant problem of finding a parking space, two wriggly toddlers yodelling in the back, in particular Boy 2 (aged 4) who liked to sing along to Johnny Cash "Ring of Fire"...with just a slight time delay so you thought you had a evil pixie echo..
Boy 2

Johnny Cash during his hell raisin' Ring of Fire days before he was tamed by the love of a good woman
taken home for a bath and bed

Some of us made slight adjustments to our routine during Grandma Whacker's visit:

Here's Boy 1.

Here's Mr B.  

I think he should market these to all men whose MILs come to stay.  

Now on to business - I finally did the prize paw draw for the book - the brilliant thriller wot my friend wrote.

  It got a great review the other day in the Daily Mail no less, so don't miss it! review here

You will be pleased to hear that the draw was carried out under the strictest conditions.

Protective goggles were worn (almost).

Names were written down on pieces of paper. .

 They were then placed into the hi-tech Dogatron (patent pending, the US government is interested in this technology for the next Presidential election).

 Then our top scrutineer carefully selected, on a totally anonymous basis, one of the pieces of paper.


After a quick lunge and grab operation, we were able to get the paper out of the scrutineer's mouth and the slighty soggy winner is:



Dear LPC, congratulations my dear and I shall be in touch! To everyone else, thank you for taking part and sorry you didn't win (but at least you are not covered in dog saliva..)

Right better go, it's Sunday evening here and while Boy 2 has of course broken up from school for a week already ("Daphnes4Boy, A Few Weeks At School, Long Summers by the Pool", registered trade mark) Boy 1 still has one more week to go ("Greggs Grammar, Keeping them off the streets since 1635").


  1. Hooray! I win! I think the appropriate response given the timing is, "GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLPPPPPCCCCC!"

    :). Thank you. Very appreciative of your willingness to send it across the pond, I look forward to the read and shall report on the blog. Thank you also for your relentless ability to make me laugh.

    1. LPC, I was so happy you won, you have always been such a kind and supportive commenter, my email is if you would kindly let me have your address xxx

  2. Well, Hello to Grandma Whacker, sitting out in the sunshine and enjoying her grandsons. And another should out to brave Mr Blighty, whose solution is sure to be copied by a certain husband in the Antipodes.
    Congratulations to LPC, and to Blighty for the ingenious and complex method of drawing the book prize. Your fellow bloggers salute you! xx

  3. Hi Patricia, hope all well with you, those ear defenders have come in useful over the years!!

  4. hello dear blights. so good to see things are just as they should be with the boys, ms whacker and i love mr. b's answer to everything...headphones. mucho love from california. x

  5. Dear Mrs Blighty, Congratulations to the lovely Lisa! That Dogatron Election Device is a complete winner (dog slobber notwithstanding)! I hope you also trialled its possibilities as a predictive device, for example, in relation to World Cup outcomes. I hope Grandma Whacker had a lovely visit. Do say hi to her from me. Love Lindaxxx


My post is all Norma No Mates, cheer her up by commenting!