Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Sunday, 21 April 2013

And then my pants dropped off

 
Dahlings, how are you? I am pleased to report that our local Shorts Wearing Man is still at large, with daily sightings of him and his legs. I now have to sing a short refrain of "it's crazeey, crazeey, shorts wearing man!" whenever I drive past him, I just can't not do it. And  I am wondering what on earth will happen if it actually gets hot this summer - stay tuned for possible update on Crazy Naked Man and/or local mother drives car into hedge in state of over-excitement.

This week the boys popped back into school for a spot of learning before the next set of holidays.

To celebrate* I took myself off to Bicester Village (luxury brand discount outlet and my spiritual home).

Loved this dress but even discounted it was £££££
 
Shockingly, I bought very little. I saw a tweet a while ago along the lines of "My woman-ness is
broken, I can't shop" and I felt just like that, the pathos was overwhelming.


 
 
Marni
 
 
Loved the dress on the right but even discounted it was ££££££



 
 
 
Above and below Jimmy Choo
 
 

I came home with only liquid handwash and L'Artisan Parfumeur Mandarin eau de toilette.  When I told Mr B I had bought some mandarin perfume he asked why I wanted to smell like an ancient Chinese bureaucrat- ha ha Mr B, ha ha.




In yet another exciting new fashion development I have decided pencil skirts are the Way Forward** - ones in stretchy material, though, for comfort and ease of movement.




 I have decided they are more flattering for the older figure and also will eliminate the problem of  "accidental lower back exposure" aka builder's bum.  I have jeans from Zara which are cut too low. Recently the boys have been shouting "UUUUURHHHG MUM NO, we can see your bum, uuuuuuurh! !" when I bend down to feed one or other of the domestic appliances. It's not the kind of reaction I wish to inspire in young men.

I have taken the plunge and ordered these.  I look forward to returning them shortly. And to be honest, forget the skirts, I would rather hire one of these lovely, fresh faced, perky young ladies to come look after the household for me while I lie around on the sofa...

Image 1 of PENCIL SKIRT from Zara
Zara - I clean your toilet now yes?



 
Image 1 of ASOS Belted Pencil Skirt
Asos - after I hoover I will go wash the car and then mow the lawn, ok?



Monsoon
In other exciting fashion news, Grandma Whacker has appointed me her personal stylist.  Move over Rachel Zoe (and stop making Skyler wear those hats): I am now Stylist to the Stars.  La Whacker is contemplating some Spring fashion purchases to take her through her many social  engagements.  We all know it will end in Marks and Spencer but in the meantime I think these jackets would suit the Big G very well.

Monsoon


In  other news I read this recently.

HHhH



It made a big impression on me.  It's the true story of an attempt by the Czech Resistance in WW2 to assassinate Reinhard Heydrich, the Nazi Protector of Czechoslovakia and one of the architects of the Holocaust, and all round despicable human being.

 It's not a cosy read obviously given its subject matter, but I thought it was brilliantly done. It helped in terms of suspense that I was ignorant of this chapter of history; if you already know what happened, that might change your experience of the book.

 From reading the book blogs, I gather the novel is an example of "meta fiction", where there is a story within a story: the author recounts the book writing process and also plays with the conventions of the historical novel, telling a bit of the story and then in the next chapter revealing that he invented various details.  This has irritated certain readers but I liked it, I thought it was honest and made his account seem more trustworthy, not less, by showing that many details in historical accounts have been "filled in" by the author.

 Other commenters have also been upset by what they felt was the author's flippant tone and it is true he makes quips, but I found this understandable as a release valve: it helped to bear the horror of what he was describing.  I could not have coped with a highly charged account of the brave Resistance and the Nazi atrocities. As it was, I often had to lay the book down, exclaim "Bastards"" to myself and then carry on reading (which livened things up on one occasion when Mr B mistakenly thought I was referring to Boys 1 and 2, locked at that moment in fraternal combat).

I followed up with this - an eco end of the world novel - gosh, I am cheerful. 



What are you chaps reading at the moment?  Any nice, light, feel good books you can recommend, to balance things up?

Now, it has come to my attention that my follower numbers are sliding, a bit like my ill-fitting jeans.  Right you lot,  remember, IF YOU DARE UNFOLLOW ME, I WILL COME FOR YOU AND SHOW YOU MY TROUSER GAPPAGE IN FULL TECHNICOLOR AND IN CLOSE UP. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.***


*wicked mother
** previous Ways Forward have included shirts and jeans, dresses, tunics with skinnies, gingham, leopard skin, monochrome, jewel colours, pastels, neon, colour blocking, nail varnish, full make up, no make up, tracksuit bottoms, pyjamas,  Converse All Stars, high heels, no heels, no knickers (not really, just checking you are still awake), brogues, loafers, UGG boots....sartorial confusion is a cruel mistress
***there goes another couple of followers

23 comments:

  1. I will never leave you Blighty. You need to purchase some high end clobber to help the Ailing British Economy.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Debs, I know, I keep explaining to Mr B that I need to shop us out of the recession but the poor dear just doesn't understand girlynomics

      Delete
  2. Dear Mrs Blighty...not sure why anyone would unfollow you, as you always impart such wisdom and wit with each post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sharon, exactly! And I am modest too!

      Delete
  3. Well, this is my first time reading you... and it was your title for today's post that peaked my curiosity and had me giggling!
    (I hopped over from Une femme d'certain age)

    Hah! I'd also send back those skirts for the help! On second thought, I'd keep the skirts, because I'd want to be dressed better than the help!

    Brenda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Brenda, thanks for dropping by, I love Femme de certain age too! Green skirt is going back as is hideous..

      Delete
  4. Wouldn't dare unfollow! I love that Marni window.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I had money I could do some damage in Marni..

      Delete
  5. I luff you.

    See you in a matter of WEEKS!!! Can you believe we will be in PARIS??????? xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Blighty. I love your blog and will remain loyal. You and Faux Fuschia are the two blogs that alternatively make me laugh out loud and/or snort coffee down my nose. I don't snort coffee for just anyone I have you know. Love LJD Australia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks you LJD, that is such a nice compliment, in fact the best ever, I live to make people snort beverages down their noses - did it to Mr B once - tea - one of my proudest moments..

      Delete
  7. Google's messing with Reader, the RSS feed, and the whole Friend Connect thing is down the tubes. May have nothing to do with your comic brilliance whatsoever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LPC, love it, now I can develop a whole conspiracy theory - Friend Connect is against me!! Off to wrap my head in tin foil so they can't use radio waves to read my mind.

      Delete
  8. We need to lasso the defectors AND make them clean your house so you have more time to blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tracy, excellent idea and I think Tazers should be involved too.

      Delete
  9. Apologies for enjoying your blog but not commenting, but it's my i-pad's fault! The stupid thing just will not let me leave a comment. If anyone has any idea as to how to fix this problem I will be grateful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Kate, thank you for breaking through the Fort Knox type security and commenting, you have done it! Now go and have a gin.

      Delete
  10. Well, Blighty, I think you have sold me now on HHhH. I like a bit of the ole meta fiction, and writers who play around with conventions, and it sounds like there is an interesting meditation on how histories are constructed too. Far too many things to resist, so on to my Empire-State-Building of a TBR pile it goes. Thanks for the recommendation!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Mrs P, I do hope you enjoy HHhH now, will feel terrible if you hate it. Any progress on the temporal statis machine? so many books, not enough hours.

      Delete
  11. Dear Blighty, I can see as a loyal follower it is time I now revealed myself and stopped lurking. Long have my neighbour and I chuckled over the wittism of our 'posh nut'. Don't despair over those faithless tarts that have fallen away. Good laughs are hard to find, they'll be back! Helen (Australia)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Helen, I am offended - I am not posh!! Thanks for de-lurking and for being a loyal follower. You are welcome to lurk anytime. I am a big lurker. (The police have spoken to me about it).

      Delete
  12. dear blighty i see you have not lost your touch. i went to the outlets today too and even with 60-70% off things were still crazy expensive.

    i will never stop following you. i hear google reader is shutting down soon. that makes no sense to me but not much does these days.

    xo
    juanita

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Juanita, I think I shall see you soon when you are on your Tour! Very excited. xx

      Delete

My post is all Norma No Mates, cheer her up by commenting!