Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
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Monday, 14 May 2012

Skirting Disaster

Watch out Sea of Shoes, Blighty's coming!
Dahlings, how are you all? Here it is of course raining again.  I don't want to be overly dramatic BUT I THINK I HAVE TRENCHFOOT...and the noise of the guns, the guns....

Time to let you into Blighty's styling secrets, once again.
 You know all those lovely, pretty, young (sound of Blighty weeping), golden-limbed (yeah, we get the point, carry on and I'll stick my ageing head in a bucket)  fashion bloggers?  They appear to put together these darling little outfits effortlessly...they really have no idea how it should be done...
Hopeless girls, absolutely hopeless! You look chic, relaxed and not completely shagged exhausted from 27 different outfits, no, no!

So here is a step by step guide from a woman of wisdom and experience.

Step 1
Decide to wear your black cashmere cardigan as it looks oh so elegant and Audrey Hepburn is hanging on the chair anyway and you have managed to rub off most of the mashed potato...
Pure Cashmere (with side order of mash)

Step 2
Decide to pair it with a pencil skirt, to flatter the cardigan's cropped length
Warehouse (as in should go back to?)

Step 3
Wonder what possessed you to buy a skirt in such a violent mustard colour and with a tight elastic band at the waist and an ugly clunking great zip at the back

Step 4
Remove mustard horror, select another skirt

Step 5
Repeat Step 4 about 5 times
Try horizontal stripe skirt - fine until catch sight of backside in mirror

Primark, cheap as chips and jolly comfy but best with long black top over to cover multitude of shins
Try camel flared skirt - what is that bump in front? oh, right, tummy
Phase Eight
Try pleated skirt - you just look mad

Ancient H&M - hello, i'm artistic..

Try floaty black skirt with interesting hem - you just look mad/gothic

Ancient M&S - hello, where's the sherry?
Step 6
Feel incredibly cross with self and at huge pile of discarded skirts..
Stick on red skirt and finally get on with day... ignore the fact that you now look like a post box..
H&M - old, hello, where are my sunglasses?

And that my dahlings, is how to style an outfit..


prehistoric Emporio Armani from the days when I got paid every month - hello, i'm professional but a bit sexy..grrrrrr


  1. Thank you, thank you. You have begun my day with a huge laugh. Haven't we all "styled" an outfit only to scream, "What am I thinking! Where is my black dress?" Your mustard colored skirt is probably something I would have chosen. (Maybe I did- it looks familiar.)

  2. i would venture to say that ole bea and lucy go through the same process a million times over. i love the orangey/red skirt! xo janet

  3. Is that a leather skirt you are wearing in the top picture?! Wow Blighty! *nudge nudge* I didn't know you had it in you. [suits you] who's got my car keys?...

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  5. Hi, Blighty, thank you so much for all the lovely comments you left on my blog, I'm honoured ! There's an answer to your questions in my new post xx

  6. Blighty! You've stolen my shoes!!!

  7. This is why I usually just pull on a pair of jeans. Sometimes I do have days when I pretend to be Faux Fuchsia. Well, a VERY watered down version. ie - I try to put on make up and look nice.

    I don't know how she manages to look so fabulous, do her job and look after the wee one.

    I think your outfit looks excellent. I am loving the gutties (as we would call your plimsoles up here in Scotland!)

    Ali x

  8. Blighty this is so funny!! That is the process I go through too! Yes, I was wondering if that's a leather skirt in the top photo as well - it does suit you. That red is a lovely colour also.

    I agree with the lovely Janet and also think that other bloggers go through the same process! Trying to find a combination of clothes which fit, suit me, the seasons and my life is an ongoing process...I find Janet's posts about selecting her wardrobe very inspiring, not to mention FF's decluttering! I also love MaiTai's capsule wardrobes. Selecting and decluttering really is therapeutic. I just need to spend more time actually doing it...

    Melusine x

    1. Hi Melusine, I love Janet too and she always looks so chic. And MaiTai is the Goddess of Elegance and Scarves.

  9. Hi, again, Blighty ! Please come over to my blog, where I have presented you with an award. Hope it will make the weather look less miserable for a minute !xxx

  10. Ooh Bunnykins, how exciting, thank you!


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