Problem Skincare

Dahlings, how do you like my title for this post?  Does it remind you of those signs on roundabouts advertising a "HUGE CARPET SALE"?  Mr B, ever the parliamentary draftsman, always points out the ambiguity of that phrase.  What can I say, Mr B and I have a very exciting relationship..

Right, enough of me being a smartarse. As if.

Anway, I felt the urgent need to share with you all my latest obsession: improvement of the Blighty skin.  Also I have been discussing this issue with another Daphne4Boyz mother, who is equally obsessed. (Skincare, bringing people together). The Other Mother is lovely, a very beautiful lady, tall, lovely figure; very bright, is a barrister, teaches trainee lawyers, and also speaks fluent Hindu and Gujarati as she grew up in India. In fact, I should hate her, she's so flipping great but she laughs at my jokes ...There is in fact nothing wrong with her skin, but like me she loves researching a project.  So we have been emailing each other furiously, throwing words like "glycolic" and "lactic acid" and "AHAs" around.

And this brings me to the first problem with skincare: the names of the stuff.  I can hardly remember them, some I can't pronounce, and some I can't spell either.

For example :

salycylic - sallycynic
glycolic - sounds as if you are being throttled
hyaluronic - this one gets me every time, cannot get this right - have been saying hydroponic but I think that's how they grow tomatoes?  Or hiya Lauren and Nic?  So I fall back on hyawhatsit and pretend I am too au fait with the whole thing to bother with the precise names but I'm fooling no one..
sebum - do not pronounce in pantomine French accent as "zeee bum" and point at your posterior while so doing, if you want to be taken seriously in the cosmoceutical world..


Sooooo, the other day Model Recommends mentioned a brand called Etat Pur.

This seemed like fate,  I took the plunge and yesterday these arrived for me*.

And this brings me to the second skincare problem: what the heck am I supposed to do with all this?  The research was fun, but now I have the stuff, all the enthusiasm is gone.  I found something on the internet which explains in great detail the order in which one should apply all this gloop; I vaguely recall  rules about which bits of law take precedence over the other - EU law over English law...  but those legal rules are laughably easy compared to the order of acids, serums, moisturisers and sunscreens; and within acids there is apparently another order of precedence...what if I put something on in the wrong order, will the aggrieved serum sue in the High Court?

And another thing....these acids from Etat Pur are named after roads. Is that a good sign?

A8 - the Edinburgh to Glasgow
A20 - London to Dover
A21 - Sevenoaks to Tunbridge Wells

One of the things these products are supposed to do is clear congestion - but have you seen the traffic on the A20?

I suppose I have to excuse the names on the basis that the company is French; but doesn't Etat Pur translate as "Complete State"?  Is that a good name for a skincare brand I ask?

Final problem: in the steamy bathroom first thing, my poor middle- aged, longsighted eyes cannot make out which potion is which...

I have cunningly tried grouping the green ones separately but to be honest, and without being overly dramatic, WE ARE ON A KNIFE EDGE HERE PEOPLE**

All joking aside though, I must say, first, Etat Pur were very efficient at delivering; secondly, the prices are very reasonable, thirdly ,and this may be a case of Emperor's New Clothes, my skin felt very smooth this morning after last night's application and some lumpy bumps have gone (no Mr B, not my chest, very funny).


So there you have it. Mrs B being silly about skincare.
But remember: skincare is no laughing matter.  Why?

Because if you laugh, you will get laughter lines ..





Stay tuned for more Blighty on skincare - there is a brand called Bravura which looks good;  also I have just discovered the horrors of sodium lauryl sulfate and other foaming agents  in face washes and shampoos so am on the hunt for SLS free products....oooh, goody, another project...


*What I got from Etat Pur-
Salicylic Acid 70 - A21
Salicylic Acid 300 - A22
Zinc Gluconate - A20
Apigenin - A08
Allantoin - A47
Citric Acid - AHA A60
ooh, should I get myself a white lab coat, I feel very scientific?


**phrase shamelessly stolen from Faux Fuchsia