Not suitable for people with irony deficiency and
cannot guarantee nut-free

Sunday, 31 March 2013

The Easter Bunny says Boo!

Dahlings how are you? Feeling a bit sick? No, I agree, it couldn't have been the large Easter egg, it was definitely the side salad that was a smidge too far..

Here I have been looking after my neighbour's rabbit. A rabbit! Over Easter!  See what a happening kinda person I am!

I was totally the right person for the job:

I've seen Fatal Attraction few times.



I have this suspiciously soft furry jacket*.


And I have this useful bunny care manual.


I propped it up and changed the pages each day, to keep bunny amused.


Bunny was very cute.

Also smart - this is her reaction when she first saw me.


Bye bye Bunny, it was nice to meet you and remember, if you can't see your food bowl, it's probably because you have your hind legs in it...

In other news, I have set up a tweet gizmo at the side of this blog.  Don't miss my profound insights on life and retweets of stuff that makes me laugh. Yep, Blighty, at the cutting edge of technology, five years later...


*Relax, it's faux fur!



Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Mrs Blighty is a Twit and Other Unsurprising Things

Hi Dahlings!  Hope you are all well.
Still sulking about not getting that Pope gig?
 Get a grip, just having a pair of red shoes and a working knowledge of The Da Vinci Code was never going to be enough!

Here it is cold. Snow is still lying on the ground and small boys are still being forced to wear vests..

Melusine has started a blog http://idbedarling.blogspot.co.uk/ and did a lovely post here -so appropriate for this weather.


pic blatantly stolen from her post - to whet your appetite and send you over there, her blog is visually sumptuous...

This polish is still available - a Classic! I have it. Inspired by Melusine's post, I applied it to my paws. It lasted 6 mins before it chipped while I was doing some light welding making an omelette.

pic from Amazon UK
( In urgent Nail Polish News, I have decided classic reds and pinks are the Way Forward for a woman of my age...tune in next week to Nail Polish News when I announce that ombre nails, lime green and gold and turquoise stripes are the Way Forward..)

In other news I have become Completely Obsessed with Twitter; not the real celeb accounts but the spoof ones.

Here are some more I really like (apologies if you know these already).

https://twitter.com/Queen_UK



https://twitter.com/HonestToddler




Dahlings, let me know if you have any favourite funny Tweeters.
Really important I waste even more of my time laughing at incredibly rude tweets by fake Bill Clinton.  WARNING VERY RUDE DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU
https://twitter.com/PimpBillClinton


Slight problem is that I have them all mixed in with Serious Tweets - updates from Boy 1 or Boy 2's schools, the real newspapers, the hockey club, book blogs, and it's sometimes hard to tell which are which... like this one

schools emergency classroom threat list



Finished this book.




 Mr B read it before me and really liked it.  Took me a while to get into it.  Realised Mr B liked it because there were a few references to winter tyres.   Mr B likes a winter tyre angle in his literature.  He is a hopeless dreamer is ole Mr B.  In the end I liked book as very unflashy and well put together with interesting characters and a twist in the plot; quite a bit on legal procedure which I like (yep, I am a hopeless dreamer too).

I leave you with some fantastic pictures of Paris in the snow, taken by my French friend Monsieur
OM.  Paris always looks better than anywhere else, whatever the weather, n'est-ce pas? By the way, still loving Spiral 4 and Juge Roban...wonder if he tweets?  Wonder if he wears a vest?


Thursday, 21 March 2013

10 years later

Dahlings how are you?

As predicted Boy 2 returned from his school trip and had the Tantrum of All Tantrums.

Maybe he is affected by the break up of Girls Aloud.

I know I am.
Girls Aloud in 2013
From the Guardian on-line


Girls Aloud is about the same age as Boy 2 -  I used to sit on the sofa feeding the baby Boy 2 (I know, TMI)  and watching Popstars the Rivals, which created Girls Aloud.  So I feel a link between them and Boy 2.

And I have lived it: the tears, the laughter, the arguments, the nightclubs, the footballers, the tattoos, the dodgy singing.. and that's just Boy 2..

In other news I am trying to understand the Harlem Shake meme.  This article explains it.
 here.  The latest is the sacking of the librarian at St Hilda's Oxford for failing to stop a Harlem Shake in the library.

In Haircare News, I have bought this.  Excellent for de-tangling.

Tangle Teezer Hair Brush (Pink)




And this.  To deal with the ever present worry of Colour Fading/Brassy Tones.
Aveda Pure Plant Blue Malva Shampoo (1000ml)
From look.fantastic.com

I know you all will be very relieved, my haircare issues must have been keeping you awake at night.


I read this. It is really quite horrid.  Only read if you really have to, and preferably on hols on a sunbed.  Not on your own, late at night.

Creepy pyscho boyfriend thriller, very well done, a real page turner



I enjoyed this more - Linda in Chile has read it too.

True story about a murder in Savannah and people the author met while living there, including a rich antique dealer, the drag queen, the Lady Chablis and a voodoo priestess. Great stuff!



I have done a new whatsit on my sidebar showing what I am currently reading.  I stole the idea from Mrs Peabody and the other book bloggers.  See, I wanna play with the grown ups too.


I am busy preparing for my trip to Paris with Faux Fuchsia by watching this tough French cop/lawyer drama, Spiral 4.

Image for Series 4: State of Terror
Spiral 4 - from BBC Four websiste


  I can now say in French "Shut up punk, spread them, it's the slammer for you" which should come in handy in Hermes (those sales assistants can be very uppity).



Juge Roban is my favourite character, he is very tall and thin and dinky in a very French way, and look at his hair, I bet he uses Aveda shampoo too.
Judge François Roban
From BBC Four website


Finally I am LOVING this Twitter thing - makes me laugh till I cry - the spoof prison diary of Chris Huhne (probably not of interest to non-UK readers, he is the ex-Cabinet Minister recently jailed for perverting the course of justice by getting his now ex-wife to take his penalty points for speeding...)


Bye for now, stay strong, Girls Aloud may have broken up but there is always One Direction....yes, quite.

Monday, 18 March 2013

Blighty fights back against Dr Spamkenstein

Dahlings, I am afraid I just can't put up with the spam attacks in my comments section anymore!  The tinnitus and weight loss spam was bad enough, but when I saw "Petite Gangbangs" (for real, I am not joking) I knew enough was enough!  I have turned on comment moderation and we will see whether that keeps the spam out.  It really is making my blog look like a neglected garden, the spam being virulent weeds ...so please bear with me if it's an extra faff to comment, and please keep commenting!

Things are very harmonious here this evening - I have one very happy Boy 1 who is Living the Dream (of being an only child).  Boy 2 has gone off on a 2 night residential school trip, where he will be forced to partake in outdoor activities.  But don't worry, he very considerately ensured we would not miss him too much by having a very loud, very prolonged tantrum yesterday afternoon.  Unreasonably provoked by his evil parents banning him from the X-Box.

Once I had dropped Boy 2 and his airline pilot type wheelie bag at school this morning, I took myself off to London for a cultural infusion: the Manet exhibition at the Royal Academy.

I saw lots of pics, including this.



And this.



It was very crowded (a bit like the above picture but without the top hats and bonnets..)

But very interesting.  I am a big fan of those audio guides thingies, this one included the thoughts of the writer Julian Barnes ( he what wrote Flaubert's Parrot).

Manet knew lots of arty people, like Zola and Mallarme. 

Also he had syphilis and died at about 51.  Though they don't mention the syphilis in the notes on the gallery wall.  I suppose they don't want school children asking awkward questions...

In other news I am loving book blogs at the moment and in particular Mrs Peabody Investigates
I came across her blog when listening in the car to a Radio 4 programme called Foreign Bodies, in which Mrs Peabody was interviewed on the subject of a German crime novelist called Jacob Arjounis, who wrote a series of books featuring a Turkish immigrant detective in Germany.link

Mrs Peabody writes a great blog on foreign crime fiction, I have already read a number of  excellent books recommended by her and through her blog have tapped into a rich seam of other crime fiction blogs. If your reading needs a pick me up, do take a look at Mrs P.

Recommended by Mrs. Peabody Investigates blog.  Excellent, hard hitting literary detective novel set in the Mexican border town of Juarez, notorious in real life for high number of murders of women - femincidos. Not a cosy read.Ernesto Mallo / Needle in a Haystack | Mrs. Peabody Investigates -detective novel set in 1970s Buenos Aires when Argentina under military rule



Brilliant tour de force of a thriller - dark, funny, addictive; a marriage goes sour, the wife disappears...

Some of Mrs Peabody's recommendations




Well that's me for now.  I'm off to do battle with Dr Spamkenstein.  And, even more frightening, to gird my loins in preparation for the stormy return of the delightful Boy ("IT WAS RUBBISH, THERE WAS NO 'PUTER GAMES AND THEY MADE ME EAT CARROTS AND DO OTHER STUFF THAT IS LIKE TOTALLY AGAINST MY HUMAN RIGHTS" ) 2.


Tuesday, 12 March 2013

The Meaning of Life and Other Big Questions

Dahlings, how are you all?  I do hope you don't think I have just been sitting around reading detective novels and eating salt and vinegar crisps, pausing now and again to shout at Boys 1 and 2 to do their homework...

No, I have been pondering Life's Big Questions:

Why is there a man in our street who wears shorts all the time, all through the winter, even in this Arctic, Beast from the East, weather?

Does washing one's hair in water-softened water cause terrible damage to one's highlights?

And finally,  why can't I remember the other Big Question?

This is a sort of visual of Mysterious Shorts Wearing Man.  This is of course not him, it's just some pics from the internetz  but I wanted to give you something to work with.


source

source



His shorts are smart casual and he pairs them with a smart jacket but they are not warm enough for this weather, and he also has leather deck shoes without socks.

I see him every morning walking along our street, in the direction of town. Is he off to London by train?  And why the shorts?   I am dying to stop and ask him but Boys 1 and 2 have very wisely forbidden it, their theory is that he wears shorts as he is a Serial Killer and does not want to get blood on the bottom of long trousers.

My theory is he has HOT PARTS and needs to get the air to them, otherwise they will spontaneously combust.  Or maybe he has read those newspaper articles about modern man's sperm count falling due to too tight underpants and central heating and so is on a mission single-handedly (?) to  re-populate the world. If anyone local reads this and a) knows the answer, please put me out of my misery; and/or b) is married to, or a friend of, or otherwise related or connected to, this chap, may I just say what a splendid idea the shorts wearing is and I really did not mean it about the serial killing, the hot parts, the spontaneous combustion or the sperm production/repopulation....


As regards the hair issue, every now and then I go to the hairdressers and get a mini-science lecture on how water softeners make the water bad for hair with highlights (at this point the colourist usually gloomily says she can smell the water softener chemicals on my hair and describes the terrible fizzing noise of the chemicals stopping the highlights taking properly).  The colourist then proceeds to advise me to stick my head under the kitchen cold tap (the only tap where unsoftened water available) and buy some special ££££ shampoo to de-tox my hair. It is quite frankly exhausting, I want to read Hello! mag and chat about my hols, I do not want to grapple with cutting edge scientific conundrums like black holes and highlight maintenance.  Does anyone out there have a view on this?  ( Please back up your view with a doctoral thesis or at least the Ladybird book of chemistry).


Tin Foil Highlights
source



As for the third Big Question, it was really good, but for the life of me....